{"id":1221,"date":"2020-11-30T14:17:33","date_gmt":"2020-11-30T14:17:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=1221"},"modified":"2020-11-30T14:17:33","modified_gmt":"2020-11-30T14:17:33","slug":"10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html","title":{"rendered":"10 Ways We Men Are Jerks to Our Women"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re like me, when it comes to your woman and your relationship with her\u2013 you NEVER think of yourself as \u201cbeing a jerk.\u201d But, I have some news to report to you about this\u2026<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve certainly been a \u201cjerk\u201d much more than I care to admit\u2013but it\u2019s the truth. If you\u2019re a man, it may not have been your intention but I\u2019m willing to bet that there are plenty of times when you can come off like a jerk to your woman too.<\/p>\n

The crazy thing is we men don\u2019t even realize when we\u2019re doing something that might cause our women to think about us in this way. I\u2019m not going to go on forever but I thought it would be helpful to you if I shared 10 ways we men can come off like jerks to our women without even knowing it. As you read these, be open to asking yourself if it\u2019s possible that you do what I\u2019m talking about. If you do, then become aware of when and how you\u2019re a jerk so you can shift this way of being if it feels right for you to do so.<\/p>\n

So here (in no particular order ) are ten ways we men can come off like jerks to our woman\u2026<\/p>\n

1 Thinking she can read your mind and then getting upset about it when she doesn\u2019t do what you want.<\/h4>\n

2. \u201cForgetting\u201d important days, dates, holidays, special plans or important things the two of you have talked about.<\/h4>\n

3. Looking at and paying too much attention to other beautiful women (and then denying it when she catches you doing it).<\/h4>\n

4. Assuming and overreacting by thinking you know what she\u2019s thinking and how she\u2019s going to react. The truth is, we can never know how another person is going to react about anything\u2013no matter how well we think we know them.
\n.
\n5. Blaming \u2013 This is when you use what we call \u201cabsolute words\u201d like\u2026 \u201cyou always,\u201d \u201cyou never,\u201d and \u201cyou are such a _______.\u201d<\/h4>\n

Communicating with a woman<\/a> is one of the most difficult things that we men have to do as we work towards keeping a close connection with our woman. This is why the specific words you use and the language you use is so critical if you want to \u201clight up your woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another way we men can be \u201cJerks\u201d is\u2026<\/p>\n

6. Overreacting to the story you\u2019ve got in your mind that may or may not be true in various situations.<\/h4>\n

What happens when you overreact to the stories in your mind is you either come on too strong and she withdraws from you or you \u201ccollapse\u201d and you withdraw from her. Either one is not good and this is why it\u2019s so important to be aware and conscious of our stories that we\u2019re carrying around and living from.<\/p>\n

She may not use this exact language but, almost any woman will think you are the equivalent of a jerk.<\/p>\n

The next way we men can be jerks is\u2026<\/p>\n

7 When you don\u2019t do your part around the house with chores, cleaning etc.<\/h4>\n

Let\u2019s face it, even today\u2013as evolved as we\u2019ve become, when it comes to housework, in general women STILL do more cooking, cleaning and
\nchildcare than we men do.<\/p>\n

Although we men may do other kinds of jobs around the house, like simple repairs, the research clearly shows that our women outwork us
\nby far around the house even when they have other jobs too. We men will often times go through some bizarre gyrations to avoid
\ndoing some simple tasks or jobs around the house that we don\u2019t want to do.<\/p>\n

In my recent survey to women where I asked them what would get them in the mood for love and passion more often\u2013one of the answers
\nthat surprised me the most was when they responded in great numbers with a statement something like\u2026 \u201cIf I could get him to take on part of the load of household chores, I\u2019d have a whole lot more energy (and interest) in his advances in the bedroom.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another way men come off as \u201cjerks\u201d can be \u2026<\/p>\n

8. When you don\u2019t speak up, don\u2019t say what\u2019s on your mind or communicate to your woman what\u2019s important to you.<\/h4>\n

My wife and I call this \u201ctalking on eggshells\u201d and women hate it. I think there are actually some women who question a man\u2019s masculinity if he\u2019s unwilling or incapable of speaking his truth or saying what\u2019s on his mind.<\/p>\n

What I know to be true about women is that they want your attention but they also want your heart and your honesty. If you have trouble saying what you want to your woman out of fear for what she\u2019ll say, how she\u2019ll react or respond\u2013then this has to stop.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not suggesting you become a bully or an even bigger jerk about \u201cspeaking your truth\u201d when you say what you\u2019ve been holding back, but
\nI am saying that holding back does need to stop if you want your relationship to be what you want it to be.<\/p>\n

Know that you can learn to always say what you want \u2013 honestly and sincerely<\/a>, with heart.<\/p>\n

Next is\u2026<\/p>\n

9. When we men talk about how incredible or beautiful other women are far more often than you compliment or praise your woman.<\/h4>\n

Since some researchers say men grow through challenge and women grow through praise, then I would suggest that if you want your woman to shine and be more open and radiant, then you\u2019ll want to spend your compliments praising her and NOT some other woman.<\/p>\n

Remember, she loves and has chosen you to be her man and she also wants to hear from time to time how grateful you are for her and how
\nincredible you think she is.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been my experience that you can never praise your woman too much as long as it\u2019s done with sincerity and conviction.<\/p>\n

And finally\u2026<\/p>\n

10. Men can be perceived as jerks by women when we\u2019re NOT touching our woman all day (or all week) and then we expect her to respond to your touch at night. when you get to the bedroom.<\/h4>\n

Women love to be touched in non-sexual ways and your woman in particular craves your touch more than you could ever imagine.<\/p>\n

My advice (if you want to light up your woman) is to never stop touching her in sexual and non-sexual ways. You\u2019ll be glad that this was some advice you took because in her eyes there\u2019s no replacement for your touch.<\/p>\n

So, what do you do with this information you\u2019ve just read?<\/p>\n

If you want to light up your woman, make her happy and get more of what you want\u2013don\u2019t do these things.<\/p>\n

In fact, you\u2019d probably be well served to use these 10 things as a starting off point to see what other times or in what other ways you do things that might cause your woman to pull back from you or react negatively to you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you\u2019re like me, when it comes to your woman and your relationship with her\u2013 you NEVER think of yourself as \u201cbeing a jerk.\u201d But, I have some news to report to you about this\u2026 I\u2019ve certainly been a \u201cjerk\u201d much more than I care to admit\u2013but it\u2019s the truth. If you\u2019re a man, it…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1221","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"yoast_head":"\n10 Ways We Men Are Jerks to Our Women - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"10 Ways We Men Are Jerks to Our Women - Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you\u2019re like me, when it comes to your woman and your relationship with her\u2013 you NEVER think of yourself as \u201cbeing a jerk.\u201d But, I have some news to report to you about this\u2026 I\u2019ve certainly been a \u201cjerk\u201d much more than I care to admit\u2013but it\u2019s the truth. If you\u2019re a man, it…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-11-30T14:17:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/411\/2020\/11\/dmitry-vechorko-uQP6mJ5x9Oo-unsplash-350x233.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Alex Wise\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"10 Ways We Men Are Jerks to Our Women - Make Your Relationship Work","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"10 Ways We Men Are Jerks to Our Women - Make Your Relationship Work","og_description":"If you\u2019re like me, when it comes to your woman and your relationship with her\u2013 you NEVER think of yourself as \u201cbeing a jerk.\u201d But, I have some news to report to you about this\u2026 I\u2019ve certainly been a \u201cjerk\u201d much more than I care to admit\u2013but it\u2019s the truth. If you\u2019re a man, it…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html","og_site_name":"Make Your Relationship Work","article_published_time":"2020-11-30T14:17:33+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/411\/2020\/11\/dmitry-vechorko-uQP6mJ5x9Oo-unsplash-350x233.jpg"}],"author":"Alex Wise","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html","name":"10 Ways We Men Are Jerks to Our Women - Make Your Relationship Work","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/411\/2020\/11\/dmitry-vechorko-uQP6mJ5x9Oo-unsplash-350x233.jpg","datePublished":"2020-11-30T14:17:33+00:00","dateModified":"2020-11-30T14:17:33+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/#\/schema\/person\/bb1a6f316ea30c450e6f03a651e64888"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/411\/2020\/11\/dmitry-vechorko-uQP6mJ5x9Oo-unsplash-350x233.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/411\/2020\/11\/dmitry-vechorko-uQP6mJ5x9Oo-unsplash-350x233.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/10-ways-we-men-are-jerks-to-our-women.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"10 Ways We Men Are Jerks to Our Women"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/","name":"Make Your Relationship Work","description":"Relationship Improvement, Lifestyle Development, Personal Growth","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/#\/schema\/person\/bb1a6f316ea30c450e6f03a651e64888","name":"Alex Wise","description":"Welcome to my blog. I\u2019m Alex. I\u2019m just a normal guy like any other guy. But what makes me different, is what makes you want to keep your eye out for my blog. I\u2019ve been studying social dynamics and personal development for the last 15 years. I\u2019ve helped men in meeting women. I\u2019ve helped men reaching their goals in life and I\u2019ve helped myself develop the lifestyle that I want. You can learn all that and draw from my experience through my blog. Why should you read this blog? The goal is simply giving you the tools and knowledge in how you can change your life and create the lifestyle that you want. Do you want to improve your dating life? Do you have goals you don\u2019t know how to reach? Do you feel that your life is boring and feel stuck? I will share my years of experience and knowledge in exactly those areas. Areas in the past which I had trouble with too. However I\u2019ve found the key to solving those problems and I\u2019m sharing it all here, so you don\u2019t have to go through years of trial and error like me. What is lifestyle development? Lifestyle development deals with every area of your life whether it\u2019s being relationships, finances, health or personal growth. The blog\u2019s aim is to help you create the amazing lifestyle that you want. Through my blog you will be able to follow my experiences and lessons. Articles and videos aimed to educate and motivate you into taking the necessary steps in getting the life you deserve. I am also a freelance editor and writer for Loveawake.com dating site.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/author\/awise"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1221","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/620"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1221"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1221\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1245,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1221\/revisions\/1245"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1221"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1221"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1221"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}