{"id":1197,"date":"2020-11-06T15:51:17","date_gmt":"2020-11-06T15:51:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=1197"},"modified":"2020-11-06T15:51:17","modified_gmt":"2020-11-06T15:51:17","slug":"is-an-immediate-text-response-needed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/11\/is-an-immediate-text-response-needed.html","title":{"rendered":"Is an Immediate Text Response Needed?"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you read the old Dale Carnegie book,\u00a0\u201cHow To Win Friends and Influence People,\u201d<\/em>\u00a0there is a piece of advice from the German Army, of all things.<\/h4>\n

\"texting\"<\/p>\n

Apparently, no soldier was allowed to file a complaint or grievance until 24 hours had passed, and if he then felt he was aggrieved, he could file one.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know whether that is actually true or not, but it is eminently believable, and eminently useful.\u00a0When something happens, we tend to have an immediate emotional reaction, that clouds our judgment.<\/strong>\u00a0As time passes and the\u00a0emotion of the moment wears off, reason returns and reflecting on the incident reveals it to be no big deal after all.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This problem is magnified now in this day<\/strong>\u00a0and age of\u00a0instant communication<\/a>. If\u00a0someone sends an email or text or instant message and doesn\u2019t hear back almost immediately, they get aggravated.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Even worse is receiving (or not receiving) a message that appears to be negative, and immediately responding to it. That\u2019s where people get into trouble.<\/p>\n

The best thing you can ever do when you get a message via media that allows you to respond immediately is\u00a0not to respond at once<\/strong>. Put it down,\u00a0think about it, reflect on it, even sleep on it, and you will have a much better response.<\/strong><\/p>\n

There have been many times in business where I have gotten an aggravating, even insulting message or reply from someone where I was tempted to respond immediately and lay waste to that person. But, luckily, I did not.<\/p>\n

I set it aside, reflected on it, let time pass, and tried to read it for what is was, then crafted a response (often a phone call) that was intended to get the result I wanted. Remarkably, most of the time I did, also discovering that the message was simply poorly written, and not a reflection of the senders intent at all.<\/p>\n

Your communication should be designed with an outcome in mind<\/strong>.\u00a0Responding immediately to someone<\/a>, especially a woman, and scorching them will only guarantee you never get any results with them. Sometimes silence on your part will get them to re-read their message, and send you something closer to what they intended.<\/p>\n

Back when you had to write a letter, and pay to have it sent,\u00a0people were much more cordial with the written word.<\/strong>\u00a0The reason is they\u00a0had much more time to think<\/strong>\u00a0about what they were saying. The availability of instant communication short circuits that thinking for most people, but it doesn\u2019t have to for you. No matter your immediate reaction to a communication, set it aside and carefully consider your response. You will find you usually get a much more positive outcome.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you read the old Dale Carnegie book,\u00a0\u201cHow To Win Friends and Influence People,\u201d\u00a0there is a piece of advice from the German Army, of all things. Apparently, no soldier was allowed to file a complaint or grievance until 24 hours had passed, and if he then felt he was aggrieved, he could file one. I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1197","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationship-advice"],"yoast_head":"\nIs an Immediate Text Response Needed? - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Is an Immediate Text Response Needed? - Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you read the old Dale Carnegie book,\u00a0\u201cHow To Win Friends and Influence People,\u201d\u00a0there is a piece of advice from the German Army, of all things. 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I\u2019m Alex. I\u2019m just a normal guy like any other guy. But what makes me different, is what makes you want to keep your eye out for my blog. I\u2019ve been studying social dynamics and personal development for the last 15 years. I\u2019ve helped men in meeting women. I\u2019ve helped men reaching their goals in life and I\u2019ve helped myself develop the lifestyle that I want. You can learn all that and draw from my experience through my blog. Why should you read this blog? The goal is simply giving you the tools and knowledge in how you can change your life and create the lifestyle that you want. Do you want to improve your dating life? Do you have goals you don\u2019t know how to reach? Do you feel that your life is boring and feel stuck? I will share my years of experience and knowledge in exactly those areas. Areas in the past which I had trouble with too. However I\u2019ve found the key to solving those problems and I\u2019m sharing it all here, so you don\u2019t have to go through years of trial and error like me. What is lifestyle development? Lifestyle development deals with every area of your life whether it\u2019s being relationships, finances, health or personal growth. The blog\u2019s aim is to help you create the amazing lifestyle that you want. Through my blog you will be able to follow my experiences and lessons. Articles and videos aimed to educate and motivate you into taking the necessary steps in getting the life you deserve. I am also a freelance editor and writer for Loveawake.com dating site.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/author\/awise"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1197","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/620"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1197"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1197\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1203,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1197\/revisions\/1203"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1197"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1197"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1197"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}