{"id":1086,"date":"2020-10-06T14:50:04","date_gmt":"2020-10-06T14:50:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/?p=1086"},"modified":"2020-10-06T14:50:37","modified_gmt":"2020-10-06T14:50:37","slug":"101-reasons-not-to-be-a-bridesmaid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/10\/101-reasons-not-to-be-a-bridesmaid.html","title":{"rendered":"101 Reasons Not To Be A Bridesmaid"},"content":{"rendered":"

Between the free food, the open bar, the excuse to get dressed up, and the chance to dance all night with your friends,\u00a0weddings can be a beautiful thing<\/a>. It\u2019s great to see your friend or family member getting their chance to shine, and it\u2019s always touching to see a young couple making a lifelong commitment to each other. That being said, weddings tend to be a lot more fun\u2026\u00a0when you\u2019re not in them. While it\u2019s super flattering to be asked to be a bridesmaid, you might find yourself feeling less than enthusiastic. You\u2019re not alone. We might not say this stuff out loud, but a lot of us have thought it. With a little bit of guilt, we present to you 101 reasons\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0to be a bridesmaid:<\/p>\n

1. Because you\u2019d rather not spend $200 on a dress you\u2019ll only wear once.
\n2. And that price doesn\u2019t include the fittings and alterations, which cost plenty more.
\n3. Especially since\u00a0you\u2019re going to hate the dress. Nobody\u00a0doesn\u2019t<\/em>\u00a0hate the dress.
\n4. And it\u2019s silly to expect a group of women\u2013 who are all different shapes and colors\u2013 to look uniform.
\n5. And somebody\u2019s bigger boobs are going to fall out,
\n6. and somebody\u2019s smaller boobs are going to cave in,
\n7. and somebody\u2019s going to gain or lose a lot of weight between the fittings and the wedding.
\n8. Because by the end of the night, the dress will end up stained by something, be it:
\n9. champagne,
\n10. wine,
\n11. some kind of sauce from the disappointing reception dinner,
\n12. sweat, or somehow
\n13. bood.
\n14. Because you don\u2019t want to pay $100 for some mousey updo
\n15. that makes you feel like you\u2019re going to prom.
\n16. Or a manicure that won\u2019t even make it through the night.
\n17. Or uncomfortable heels that look awful on your feet,
\n18. which will need to be dyed to match the dress,
\n19. and will end up dyeing your feet.<\/p>\n

\n
\"\"
(L to R) Becca (ELLIE KEMPER), Megan (MELISSA MCCARTHY) and Rita (WENDI MCLENDON-COVEY) in Bridesmaids (2011)<\/em>. In the comedy, Kristen Wiig stars a maid of honor whose life unravels as she leads her best friend and a group of colorful bridesmaids on a wild ride down the road to matrimony.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

20. Because you\u2019re bad at walking in a straight line down an aisle.
\n21. Because weddings freak you out.
\n22. Because weddings make you depressed.
\n23. Because weddings make you really emotional, and
\n24. you\u2019re going to ruin your expensive makeup by\u00a0crying it all off.
\n25. Because you can tell you were only asked to be in the wedding to avoid some kind of drama.
\n26. Because you can tell you were only asked to be in the wedding to make the number of groomsmen and bridesmaids even.
\n27. Because you can tell you were only asked to be in the wedding because the bride\u00a0promised you would be when you were thirteen.
\n28. Because you can tell you were only asked to be in the wedding because people expected you to be.
\n29. Because you don\u2019t like the bride enough to spend that much time with her.
\n30. Because you like the bride too much to ruin your friendship by witnessing her pre-wedding freakouts.
\n31. Because you don\u2019t like the bride enough to guarantee you won\u2019t be silently judging her the whole time.
\n32. Because you like the bride enough to save her the money she\u2019d spend on your bridesmaids\u2019 gift.
\n33. Because you don\u2019t want to see people from high school, or
\n34. college, or
\n35. your old job, or
\n36. church.
\n37. Because you don\u2019t want to get drunk and embarrass yourself in front of the bride\u2019s family.
\n38. Because you don\u2019t want to go to an event with an open bar and\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0get drunk and embarrass yourself.
\n39. Because you don\u2019t want to get your butt squeezed by some handsy groomsman.
\n40. Because you don\u2019t want to cozy up for a slow dance with your friend\u2019s husband\u2019s brother.
\n41. Or think up an excuse to not dance with your friend\u2019s husband\u2019s weird grandpa.
\n42. Because bachelorette parties are expensive as hell, between
\n43. traveling,
\n44. a hotel room,
\n45. presents for the bride,
\n46. drinks (for you and for the bride),
\n47. various penis-theme novelty items,
\n48. male strippers,
\n49. therapy (to help you forget about the male strippers).
\n50. Because you don\u2019t have the time to plan a bridal shower,
\n51. or the Pinterest savvy to make cute centerpieces,
\n52. or the money to spend on a present,
\n53. or the patience to watch the bride pretend to be surprised by a gift she picked out herself.
\n54. Because all bridal shower games were invented by Lucifer, and
\n55. those little cucumber sandwiches don\u2019t fill anybody up.>
\n56. Because you\u2019ve seen 27 Dresses<\/em>\u00a0way too many times.
\n57. As well as\u00a0Runaway Bride<\/em>.
\n58. Because one time a bride went crazy and\u00a0stabbed her fiance over a disagreement about wedding colors.
\n59. And you\u2019ve watched more episodes of\u00a0Bridezillas<\/em>\u00a0than you\u2019d ever care to admit.
\n60. Because you don\u2019t want to hang out with the other bridesmaids, or
\n61. the bride\u2019s mom, or
\n62. the groom\u2019s mom, or
\n63. the sadistic lady at the bridal shop who thinks you ought to try on the dress in a few sizes up.
\n64. Because you have better things to do on a Saturday afternoon.
\n65. Like watch Netflix.
\n66. And eat chips.
\n67. And count all the money that you didn\u2019t blow on bridesmaid crap.
\n68. And be grateful that you\u2019re not the one getting married.
\n69. Because you\u2019d rather get a root canal than catch the bouquet.
\n70. Because the idea of some random dude putting a garter on your thigh is really creepy.
\n71. Because you\u2019ve never been able to do the Electric Slide.
\n72. And the Cupid Shuffle reminds you of getting dry humped at a school dance.
\n73. Because you don\u2019t want to feel like you\u2019re at a school dance, period.
\n74. And you don\u2019t want to get dry humped by anything at all, or
\n75. do the Chicken Dance, and
\n76. you always have visible pit stains when it comes time for the YMCA.
\n77. Because you love your friend, but not enough to pretend you love weddings.
\n78. Because you love your friend, but not enough to go bankrupt.
\n79. Because you\u2019re too old for this shit, or
\n80. too young to afford it, or
\n81. too tired to deal with it all.
\n82. Because you don\u2019t think the groom is good enough for the bride.
\n83. Because you don\u2019t think the bride is good enough for the groom.
\n84. Because you don\u2019t get along with the other bridesmaids, or
\n85. you get along with them better than you do the bride.
\n86. Because you know the bride is really stressed out,
\n87. and it\u2019s your job to make her feel better,
\n88. which is really hard,
\n89. and expensive,
\n90. and sometimes requires male strippers.
\n91. Because posing for wedding photos takes forever, especially since you\u2019ll be
\n92. starving, and
\n93. tired of wearing heels, and
\n94. sweaty, and
\n95. painfully aware of how bad you are at fake-smiling, and
\n96. sick of cozying up to the rest of the bridal party.
\n97. Because you\u2019re a little bit jealous of the bride.
\n98. Or a lot jealous.
\n99. Or thrilled that you\u2019re\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0her right now.
\n100. Or wishing you could express your love for her in some way that doesn\u2019t cost a few thousand dollars.
\n101. Because even though weddings are a lovely thing, being a bridesmaid usually isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Between the free food, the open bar, the excuse to get dressed up, and the chance to dance all night with your friends,\u00a0weddings can be a beautiful thing. It\u2019s great to see your friend or family member getting their chance to shine, and it\u2019s always touching to see a young couple making a lifelong commitment…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":620,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[141],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1086","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wedding"],"yoast_head":"\n101 Reasons Not To Be A Bridesmaid - Make Your Relationship Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/10\/101-reasons-not-to-be-a-bridesmaid.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"101 Reasons Not To Be A Bridesmaid - Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Between the free food, the open bar, the excuse to get dressed up, and the chance to dance all night with your friends,\u00a0weddings can be a beautiful thing. It\u2019s great to see your friend or family member getting their chance to shine, and it\u2019s always touching to see a young couple making a lifelong commitment…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/10\/101-reasons-not-to-be-a-bridesmaid.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Make Your Relationship Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-10-06T14:50:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-10-06T14:50:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/411\/2020\/10\/bridesmaids-trying-on-dresses-350x232.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Alex Wise\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"101 Reasons Not To Be A Bridesmaid - Make Your Relationship Work","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/2020\/10\/101-reasons-not-to-be-a-bridesmaid.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"101 Reasons Not To Be A Bridesmaid - Make Your Relationship Work","og_description":"Between the free food, the open bar, the excuse to get dressed up, and the chance to dance all night with your friends,\u00a0weddings can be a beautiful thing. 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I\u2019m Alex. I\u2019m just a normal guy like any other guy. But what makes me different, is what makes you want to keep your eye out for my blog. I\u2019ve been studying social dynamics and personal development for the last 15 years. I\u2019ve helped men in meeting women. I\u2019ve helped men reaching their goals in life and I\u2019ve helped myself develop the lifestyle that I want. You can learn all that and draw from my experience through my blog. Why should you read this blog? The goal is simply giving you the tools and knowledge in how you can change your life and create the lifestyle that you want. Do you want to improve your dating life? Do you have goals you don\u2019t know how to reach? Do you feel that your life is boring and feel stuck? I will share my years of experience and knowledge in exactly those areas. Areas in the past which I had trouble with too. 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I am also a freelance editor and writer for Loveawake.com dating site.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/author\/awise"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1086","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/620"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1086"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1086\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1101,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1086\/revisions\/1101"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1086"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1086"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/makeyourrelationshipwork\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1086"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}