{"id":651,"date":"2012-07-19T10:49:21","date_gmt":"2012-07-19T14:49:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/?p=651"},"modified":"2012-07-19T10:49:21","modified_gmt":"2012-07-19T14:49:21","slug":"the-power-of-positive-reinforcement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/2012\/07\/19\/the-power-of-positive-reinforcement\/","title":{"rendered":"The Power of Positive Reinforcement"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Yesterday Caidin and I went to Adams Fair Acre Farms caf\u00e9 for dinner. I had picked him up from a friend\u2019s house and on Wednesdays, Caidin\u2019s Dad teaches at NYU so he doesn\u2019t get home until late. So I figured Caidin and I would stop at Adams for dinner and then pick-up some fruit in their store.<\/p>\n

As we walked into the caf\u00e9 Caidin walked ahead and held the door for a couple coming out and continued to hold it while I walked in. I said \u2018thank you\u2019. We got to the counter to order and he peppered his order with please and thank you.<\/p>\n

Once we finished eating and headed into the store, I heard him saying \u2018excuse me\u2019 and \u2018I\u2019m sorry\u2019 to people he had cut-off or ran in front of.<\/p>\n

We reached the check-out and I said to him \u2018you know, I\u2019ve noticed how polite you are being tonight, it\u2019s really nice, thank you.\u2019 This only encouraged him more. He offered to carry the bags to the car, thanked me again for dinner, held some more doors and was courteous to a few more strangers.<\/p>\n

I am always amazed at how effective positive reinforcement is. We can get stuck in a negative cycle and what always pulls us out is acknowledging the positive. It\u2019s worked at age 2 and it still works today.<\/p>\n

I suppose there is a bigger lesson in this, which is more universal. If you focus on the negative you just get more of the negative. If you focus on the positive, you get more of the positive.<\/p>\n

As a Conscious Parenting strategy positive reinforcement has worked better than any punitive approach (time-outs, restrictions, taking things away).
\nIt makes sense if you stop and think about. Kids don\u2019t want to be bad or do things that we don\u2019t want them to do. They want to feel good about their own place in our family. If we reinforce the negative they get more and more frustrated just as we do. When we focus on the positive everything changes for all involved.
\nAs you make the shift from negative to positive reinforcement it may take a while to find something that your child is doing to praise. But be patient and you will find it and when you do, jump on it and really acknowledge it with them. Little by little you\u2019ll see more and more things to celebrate and far less things to complain and nag about.<\/p>\n

You may also find, as we do, that at times you just get stuck in the negative. As soon as you have the conscious awareness of it, STOP. And wait for that positive moment to acknowledge. Soon you\u2019ll be back into the harmony and balance that comes with positive reinforcement.<\/p>\n

\u00a9 2012 Christine Agro<\/p>\n

Have friends who will benefit from this information? Use the handy share options provided at the top of the article . You\u2019ll find Facebook, Twitter, Google +1, Email or click the \u2018share\u2019 for many, many other options.<\/p>\n

Remember, join me at\u00a0The Conscious Mom\u2019s Guide<\/a>\u00a0for more insight, guidance and to connect with a growing group of conscious parents. (it\u2019s fun and it\u2019s free!)<\/p>\n

Have questions about your child or need support? Christine offers\u00a0private readings<\/a>\u00a0as well as on-line support at\u00a0The Consicous Mom\u2019s Guide<\/a><\/p>\n

Christine Agro is a clairvoyant, naturopath, Master Herbalist, conscious mom and author of 50 Ways to Live Life Consciously as well as of The Conscious Living Wisdom Cards (Special Moms\u2019 Edition). Christine is founder of The Conscious Mom\u2019s Guide , a membership site where she helps support you on your own journey of living life consciously and on your journey of being a Conscious parent. You can also join Christine on\u00a0Facebook<\/a>. To contact Christine, invite her to speak or to schedule an appointment with her please\u00a0email<\/a>\u00a0her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday Caidin and I went to Adams Fair Acre Farms caf\u00e9 for dinner. I had picked him up from a friend\u2019s house and on Wednesdays, Caidin\u2019s Dad teaches at NYU so he doesn\u2019t get home until late. 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