{"id":209,"date":"2012-05-23T15:15:13","date_gmt":"2012-05-23T15:15:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/?p=209"},"modified":"2012-05-23T15:19:26","modified_gmt":"2012-05-23T15:19:26","slug":"5-ways-to-empower-your-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/2012\/05\/23\/5-ways-to-empower-your-child\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways to Empower Your Child"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>It can be hard to remember what it was like to be a little kid. If we consider the experience purely from a size perspective alone, we might<\/em> be able to remember somewhat. Just the fact that the world is built<\/em> for adults; chairs, drinking fountains, public bathroom stalls, the checkout counter; the world can be immense and overwhelming from a child-size perspective.<\/p>\n

Finding ways to help empower our children helps them to not only navigate the obvious challenges of being a child, but it will also helps them to navigate the less noticeable. Like the moments when their own newly budding sense of self is questioned or they are faced with standing up for what they know is right.<\/p>\n

Here are five ways to help empower your child:<\/p>\n

Listen<\/strong> \u2013 Sometimes as parents we forget to listen. We are so busy and we are also so used to solving problems, but sometimes the best line of action is to listen. When we listen we demonstrate that what our kids have to say is of value, and that their voices matters.<\/p>\n

Acknowledge<\/strong> \u2013 Listening and acknowledging are two very different actions. \u00a0They are not the same thing, but I do believe they go together. When your child is sharing something with you, listening is the first step. We sit attentively and we hear what he has to say. Acknowledging is the next step. It can be as simple as \u2018I\u2019m sorry to hear that happened.\u2019 Sometimes we, all of us, just need to be heard and acknowledged. Other times we need some insight or help. With our kids, Listen, acknowledge and in many cases, ask if they want your thoughts. When your child knows that she can come to you with an experience and won\u2019t get a laundry list of \u2018what to do\u2019 or given marching orders on how to respond, it will help her to gain a stronger sense of self and for her to develop her own voice.<\/p>\n

Respect Choices<\/strong> \u2013 It can be so difficult to let our kids make their own choices. Whether it\u2019s your 3-year-old\u2019s outfit she\u2019s put together, or it\u2019s your 10-year-olds decision to give up the drums; there are some choices that we just have to let our children make. As parents we need to have a mental checklist of what\u2019s essential, which choices are non-negotiable, but after that we do need to find a way to let our kids shape their own lives. We also need to recognize that the types of choices will change as our children age. We have to remember to let our kids grow up. We can share our thoughts about why we would or would not make certain choices, but giving our kids the room to explore, to see what works and what doesn\u2019t work all help to teach your child about living life. And after we make room for our kids\u2019 choices, we also need to be standing by to help out if the choice doesn\u2019t work out the way they had hoped. Things that I don\u2019t quibble about \u2013hair styles, clothing choices, certain words like \u2018dude\u2019 (although when he called his Dad \u2018dude\u2019 that was corrected) and \u2018, how he spends his time (as long as I see balance).<\/p>\n

Self-Validate<\/strong> \u2013 This should probably be at the top of the list. It is by far, in my opinion, the best tool to share with your child. When we can know from within that we matter, when we don\u2019t need someone else or something else to confirm that belief, we are truly self-empowered. Anyone at any age can learn to self-validate, and yes, I believe we can start sharing this gift with infants. When a child does something great, our response is to say \u2018that\u2019s great, I\u2019m so proud of you\u2019, but by simply shifting the words to \u2018that\u2019s great, are you proud of yourself?\u2019 you create a completely different dynamic. Instead of the moment being about you, it is about your child. I do believe it is oh-so- important to express our own celebration of our child\u2019s accomplishments, but not in absence of teaching them to feel proud of themselves.<\/p>\n

Encourage and Support<\/strong> \u2013 Encourage and support your child in discovering who they are. Help them explore likes and dislikes, help them to take risks that will move them beyond what they know. Be your child\u2019s greatest champion in life and help them to become strong, certain and above-all-else, unique individuals.<\/p>\n

As I was writing this I was reminded of a moment when Caidin was four. His Dad had said something to him and Caidin came to me and said \u2018I don\u2019t like that my Dad said this.\u2019 I heard him, acknowledged him and responded with \u2018I understand, but telling me won\u2019t change anything. You might want to let your Dad know.\u2019 Now the size disparity between Caidin and my husband was huge. I watched little tiny four-year-old Caidin walk up to his towering Dad and say \u2018I don\u2019t like that you said that to me.\u2019 Chuck listened, acknowledged him and then told him why he had said what he said, and that was that. They hugged and both went back to whatever they were doing. In that one simple moment Caidin learned that his voice mattered. He wasn\u2019t told he was right, his Dad didn\u2019t apologize, but in the ability to say what he needed to say and to receive a response, he learned \u2018my voice matters.\u2019<\/p>\n

Today I watch Caidin speak up for himself in ways that I never could, and he does it from a place of confidence rather than defense. He knows that it is his right to speak-up.<\/p>\n

These five tips can help to foster a kind of certainty and confidence that will benefit your child today and beyond.<\/p>\n

Help your child to be self-empowered, it is a lifelong gift.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a9 2012 Christine Agro<\/p>\n

Christine Agro is a clairvoyant, naturopath, Master Herbalist, conscious mom and author of\u00a050 Ways to Live Life Consciously<\/a>\u00a0as well as of\u00a0The Conscious Living Wisdom Cards (Special Moms\u2019 Edition)<\/a>. Christine is founder of\u00a0The Conscious Mom\u2019s Guide<\/em><\/a>, a membership site where she helps support you on your own journey of living life consciously and on your journey of being a Conscious parent. You can also join Christine on\u00a0Facebook<\/em><\/a>. To contact Christine or to schedule an appointment with her please\u00a0email<\/a>\u00a0her.<\/p>\n

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