{"id":1256,"date":"2012-12-20T09:40:16","date_gmt":"2012-12-20T14:40:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/?p=1256"},"modified":"2012-12-20T09:41:55","modified_gmt":"2012-12-20T14:41:55","slug":"a-glimpse-into-the-growth-of-an-almost-nine-year-old","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/2012\/12\/20\/a-glimpse-into-the-growth-of-an-almost-nine-year-old\/","title":{"rendered":"A Glimpse into the Growth of an Almost Nine Year Old"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I mentioned it a few weeks ago, but I\u2019ll say it again, Caidin is going through a challenging growth period. This isn\u2019t a physical one; it\u2019s one that has elements of spiritual awareness, emotional growth, mental awareness and add to now his need to find some way to understand the killings in Connecticut.<\/p>\n

The unique aspect of his current growth is that he is very open about it, sharing with me what he\u2019s thinking, how he\u2019s feeling and honestly, as confusing as it is to him, it\u2019s been a little confusing to me.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s had me on the internet searching for \u2018normal\u2019; it\u2019s generated many conversations between my husband and I and it has me thinking back to my own life at this age.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s something I\u2019ve come to realize \u2013 a part of our development entails trying things out to see what they feel like or how they fit; that could be language, thoughts, or behaviors.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>I can remember, as unhealthy as it may seem, trying to break my own foot, but my underlying value of myself would never let me do it. I can remember playing with my Barbie dolls and making some of them \u2018good\u2019 dolls and some of them \u2018bad\u2019 and acting out some pretty adult scenarios for an 8 or 9 year old.<\/p>\n

The difference is, I did it in silent. I grappled with it in my own mind and I knowingly hid it from my parents. Caidin comes and tells me and where I\u2019m sure he doesn\u2019t tell me everything, he tells me quite a bit.<\/p>\n

He has many thoughts coming into his head and he\u2019s struggling with them because they are mean or angry or hurtful, or to him,
\ninappropriate. So he has the thoughts and then he comes and remorsefully confesses that he\u2019s had these thoughts. I can see the confu<\/p>\n

sion he\u2019s experiencing with this and he\u2019s also looking for some sort of reaction from me.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The word \u2018sex\u2019 seems to be a real trigger for him right now. In my internet searching I found several parents seeking advice on almost the exact same scenario. The interesting thing was all the responses were fearful and reproachful,<\/p>\n

saying things like that\u2019s not \u2018normal\u2019, there is something \u2018wrong.\u2019<\/p>\n

I think what is wrong is a gap in our understanding of a child\u2019s emotional and mental development. I think to some degree we can wrap our heads around their physical development, but there is very little easy-to-access information available as to their emotional and mental development. Sure, a child psychologist or an educator might have it, but the everyday parent doesn\u2019t. I don\u2019t think we even have it from our own experience because our thoughts are the things we never talked about.<\/p>\n

When it comes to our thoughts, we all think things that we have no intention of acting on; that\u2019s why I don\u2019t think \u2018mind reading\u2019 is a good habit to be in. Someone may think \u2018I hate you.\u2019 That thought though can be fleeting and it might be fueled by a moment of frustration or anger or resentment. The mind assesses the thought, processes it and oftentimes discards it. Thoughts are not actions. This is what I\u2019m trying to get Caidin to understand.<\/p>\n

This morning I said to him, \u2018you know, maybe you are having the thoughts you are having because you are trying to decide what kind of person you are and who you want to be.\u2019 I explained to him that we all have thoughts that are negative or mean, but it\u2019s what we do with them that really matters. Do we choose to act on them and if we don\u2019t, we\u2019ve grown in our strength. If we do act on them, well, there are lessons to learn from that too like the consequences of speaking hurtful words or putting thought into action.<\/p>\n

I feel fortunate that right now Caidin is comfortable talking to me, even if it might take a week or so before he brings something to me. However, after several weeks of feeling panicked that I wasn\u2019t offering the right answer or that I was missing something; I\u2019ve come to realize that I can bear witness to these moments, I can offer insight, support and suggestions, but much of this is part of growing up and that is something only he can do for himself.<\/p>\n

\u00a9 2012 Christine Agro<\/p>\n

Christine Agro is a mom, a clairvoyant and a metaphysical expert. She works with women in all stages and phases of life providing insight and guidance and helping to unravel complicated and confusing life moments. Christine is the founder of The Conscious Mom\u2019s Guide<\/a>, a free membership site for like-minded parents seeking to parent with spiritual and conscious awareness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I mentioned it a few weeks ago, but I\u2019ll say it again, Caidin is going through a challenging growth period. This isn\u2019t a physical one; it\u2019s one that has elements of spiritual awareness, emotional growth, mental awareness and add to now his need to find some way to understand the killings in Connecticut. The unique…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":495,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,16,3],"tags":[9,300,358,25,496],"class_list":["post-1256","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-conscious-parenting-2","category-conversations-with-caidin","category-life-as-a-conscious-mom","tag-christine-agro","tag-growing-up","tag-the-conscious-mom","tag-the-conscious-moms-guide","tag-thoughts-verses-actions"],"yoast_head":"\nA Glimpse into the Growth of an Almost Nine Year Old - Life As A Conscious Mom<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/2012\/12\/20\/a-glimpse-into-the-growth-of-an-almost-nine-year-old\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A Glimpse into the Growth of an Almost Nine Year Old - Life As A Conscious Mom\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I mentioned it a few weeks ago, but I\u2019ll say it again, Caidin is going through a challenging growth period. This isn\u2019t a physical one; it\u2019s one that has elements of spiritual awareness, emotional growth, mental awareness and add to now his need to find some way to understand the killings in Connecticut. 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She has been interviewed on radio shows around the world, quoted in health and consumer magazines and e-zines nationwide and she is the founder of The Conscious Mom\u2019s Guide website. \u2022 Christine enjoys supporting women in all stages and phases of life. \u2022 Christine sees the power of today\u2019s children and seeks to support them in retaining their inner light. \u2022 She believes in living life passionately and purposefully. \u2022 She believes in the body\u2019s natural ability to heal and supporting that ability. \u2022 She believes children are conscious beings who have an unlimited capacity to understand and learn. \u2022 She believes children should be treated with respect and given the support and guidance to help them understand the world they have chosen to live in. \u2022 She believes all relationships offer us insight into what we want to learn and heal this lifetime. \u2022 She believes we all have the power to live a passionate and purposeful life. Using her clairvoyance combined with her background in naturopathic healing, herbs, homeopathy, aromatherapy, nutrition and more Christine offers conscious insight and healing support into areas such as relationships, parenting, pregnancy and spiritual growth. Find out more about Christine Agro, her work and how to schedule a reading at www.christineagro.com and check out The Conscious Mom's Guide at www.theConsciousMomsGuide.net to join a growing group of conscious parents.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.theconsciousmomsguide.net"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/author\/cagro\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1256","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/495"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1256"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1256\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1261,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1256\/revisions\/1261"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}