{"id":1172,"date":"2012-10-29T08:23:46","date_gmt":"2012-10-29T12:23:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/?p=1172"},"modified":"2012-10-29T08:24:20","modified_gmt":"2012-10-29T12:24:20","slug":"encourage-children-to-be-full-of-themselves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/2012\/10\/29\/encourage-children-to-be-full-of-themselves\/","title":{"rendered":"Encourage Children To Be Full Of Themselves"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Yesterday Caidin said, \u2018I don\u2019t want to be full of myself, but…\u2019 I was surprised. One because I\u2019ve been talking to students about this very thing (nowhere in ear shot of my little psychic child) and two because, I really believe we should<\/em> be full of ourselves.<\/p>\n

If we aren\u2019t full of ourselves, we are full of things that don\u2019t serve us and make us less then who we truly can be. We are full of doubts, self-criticism, invalidation, uncertainty, and wounding. I think we should be full of ourselves. We should take every opportunity we have to embrace and celebrate who we are, what we contribute and what we are passionate about and be full of ourselves.<\/p>\n

We should help our children define their own sense of self and support them in living life fully and passionately and we should help them be full of themselves.<\/p>\n

But instead we worry that our child will be seen as obnoxious or self-centered or braggadocios. Those worries come from what we were taught. We were taught that if we embrace who we are, we are lacking in humility and that\u2019s bad. And so goes the cycle of one of life\u2019s most diminishing lessons, don\u2019t be proud of who you are, don\u2019t talk about your successes, don\u2019t celebrate your life.<\/p>\n

I say teach our children to really love who they are and teach them to validate themselves. When we know who we are and we love who we are, truly and completely, and we know that true validation; that knowingness that we O.K., that we are good and whole and wonderful; comes from within then we run no risk of being obnoxious.<\/p>\n

Self-validation is really the key here. When your child does something great or important, or hits a milestone, celebrate and acknowledge that moment, but also use these moments as opportunities to teach your child to self-validate. Just this weekend we had a great example of this. Caidin has been trying to learn to ride his bike. In Brooklyn it was difficult to have a bike, for many reasons \u2013 space, storage, crowded sidewalks, so it wasn\u2019t until we moved 2 years ago that he got his first real bike. He had the balancing and steering down, but he couldn\u2019t get the getting going. If I didn\u2019t hold him and give him a push, he couldn\u2019t do it. So he\u2019s been practicing, without me and with no shortage of bruised shins and scrapped knees, he finally got it this weekend. He came running into the house to tell me and when he did, I said \u2018Oh, that\u2019s so great, congratulations! How do you feel?\u2019 He said \u2018I feel great!\u2019 So I celebrated the moment with him, but the validation came from him.<\/p>\n

Teaching a child to self-validate means helping them to see that they don\u2019t need you or anyone but themselves to tell them that what they did was good or of value. Again, it doesn\u2019t mean that you don\u2019t celebrate moments with your child, but help them to see that what really matters, what\u2019s really important is how they feel about their successes.<\/p>\n

And then encourage them to be full of themselves.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a9 2012 Christine Agro<\/p>\n

Join me at\u00a0The Conscious Mom\u2019s Guide<\/a>, a free membership site designed to bring consciousness to every stage and phase of your life and your child\u2019s life.<\/p>\n

Christine Agro is a clairvoyant, naturopath, Master Herbalist, conscious mom and author of 50 Ways to Live Life Consciously as well as of The Conscious Living Wisdom Cards (Special Moms\u2019 Edition). Christine is founder of The Conscious Mom\u2019s Guide , a membership site where she helps support you on your own journey of living life consciously and on your journey of being a Conscious parent. You can also join Christine on\u00a0Facebook<\/a>. To contact Christine, invite her to speak or to schedule an appointment with her please\u00a0email<\/a>\u00a0her.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday Caidin said, \u2018I don\u2019t want to be full of myself, but…\u2019 I was surprised. One because I\u2019ve been talking to students about this very thing (nowhere in ear shot of my little psychic child) and two because, I really believe we should be full of ourselves. If we aren\u2019t full of ourselves, we are…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":495,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,16,3],"tags":[374,473,471,472,9,474,358,25],"class_list":["post-1172","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-conscious-parenting-2","category-conversations-with-caidin","category-life-as-a-conscious-mom","tag-better-parenting","tag-children-and-praise","tag-children-and-self-awareness","tag-children-and-validation","tag-christine-agro","tag-full-or-yourself","tag-the-conscious-mom","tag-the-conscious-moms-guide"],"yoast_head":"\nEncourage Children To Be Full Of Themselves - Life As A Conscious Mom<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lifeasaconsciousmom\/2012\/10\/29\/encourage-children-to-be-full-of-themselves\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Encourage Children To Be Full Of Themselves - Life As A Conscious Mom\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Yesterday Caidin said, \u2018I don\u2019t want to be full of myself, but…\u2019 I was surprised. 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