{"id":721,"date":"2011-08-10T07:00:15","date_gmt":"2011-08-10T11:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lettinggo\/?p=721"},"modified":"2011-08-07T10:23:55","modified_gmt":"2011-08-07T14:23:55","slug":"moving-on-after-a-betrayal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2011\/08\/moving-on-after-a-betrayal.html","title":{"rendered":"Moving On After a Betrayal"},"content":{"rendered":"

Question: <\/strong>I know that my husband has cheated on me in the past. We fight over this since he was not honest with me.\u00a0I still love him but cannot trust or respect him just yet. I want to make it work but sometimes I feel so angry and resentful.\u00a0I just want to take it out on him for hurting me so badly! How can I deal with this so I can move on? My mind goes crazy just thinking about it all the time.<\/p>\n

Answer:<\/strong> The mind, as it is presently constituted, thrives on conflict . . . having problems to solve and positions to protect. To see this — as a fact in oneself — is the beginning of the end of our consent to allow it to drive us mad. If you have decided to go ahead with the relationship, then see this constant resurfacing of the pain not as an issue with him, but rather one of your own present inability to keep your own heart and mind present, in spite of the temptation to revisit the past (what I call the “scene of the crime”). Make the best choice you know to make at this time, and get on with your life . . . with or without him, but — most importantly — without this part of you that can’t wait to create worry and resentment over what is no longer in question.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: I know that my husband has cheated on me in the past. We fight over this since he was not honest with me.\u00a0I still love him but cannot trust or respect him just yet. I want to make it work but sometimes I feel so angry and resentful.\u00a0I just want to take it out…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":232,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,73],"tags":[151,699,748,749,79,750],"class_list":["post-721","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-letting-go","category-love-relationships","tag-betrayal","tag-hurt","tag-moving-on","tag-my-husband-cheated-on-me","tag-resentment","tag-unfaithful"],"yoast_head":"\nMoving On After a Betrayal - Letting Go with Guy Finley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2011\/08\/moving-on-after-a-betrayal.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Moving On After a Betrayal - Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question: I know that my husband has cheated on me in the past. We fight over this since he was not honest with me.\u00a0I still love him but cannot trust or respect him just yet. I want to make it work but sometimes I feel so angry and resentful.\u00a0I just want to take it out…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2011\/08\/moving-on-after-a-betrayal.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-08-10T11:00:15+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-08-07T14:23:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@guy_finley\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Moving On After a Betrayal - Letting Go with Guy Finley","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2011\/08\/moving-on-after-a-betrayal.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Moving On After a Betrayal - Letting Go with Guy Finley","og_description":"Question: I know that my husband has cheated on me in the past. We fight over this since he was not honest with me.\u00a0I still love him but cannot trust or respect him just yet. I want to make it work but sometimes I feel so angry and resentful.\u00a0I just want to take it out…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2011\/08\/moving-on-after-a-betrayal.html","og_site_name":"Letting Go with Guy Finley","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","article_published_time":"2011-08-10T11:00:15+00:00","article_modified_time":"2011-08-07T14:23:55+00:00","author":"Guy Finley","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@guy_finley","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2011\/08\/moving-on-after-a-betrayal.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2011\/08\/moving-on-after-a-betrayal.html","name":"Moving On After a Betrayal - Letting Go with Guy Finley","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#website"},"datePublished":"2011-08-10T11:00:15+00:00","dateModified":"2011-08-07T14:23:55+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/1e80afed42f91bae3eb4ca59666c1d16"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2011\/08\/moving-on-after-a-betrayal.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2011\/08\/moving-on-after-a-betrayal.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2011\/08\/moving-on-after-a-betrayal.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Moving On After a Betrayal"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/","name":"Letting Go with Guy Finley","description":"Holistic, Mental Health and Emotional Wellness","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/1e80afed42f91bae3eb4ca59666c1d16","name":"Guy Finley","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/308\/3082f4cd4990377da62358c5c69fd4e1x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/308\/3082f4cd4990377da62358c5c69fd4e1x96.jpg","caption":"Guy Finley"},"description":"Bestselling \"Letting Go\" author Guy Finley's encouraging and accessible message is one of the true bright lights in our world today. His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues - relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom - and lead the way to a higher life. Finley is the Founder and Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. He is the acclaimed author of \"The Secret of Letting Go\" and more than 45 other books and audio programs that have sold over two million copies in 26 languages worldwide. His work is widely endorsed by doctors, business professionals, celebrities, and religious leaders of all denominations. Through Life of Learning Foundation, Guy has presented over 5,000 unique self-realization seminars to thousands of grateful students throughout North America and Europe over the past 20 years and has been a guest on over 700 television and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and NPR. The Foundation's popular Key Lesson e-mails featuring inspirational quotes by Guy are read each week by a hundred thousand subscribers in 142 countries. Guy speaks four times each week on inner-life principles at Life of Learning Foundation's home in Merlin, Oregon. These meetings are ongoing and open to the public. For more information about Life of Learning Foundation, Guy Finley, and their life-changing messages, visit guyfinley.org. \"Guy Finley is...one of the leading experts at the forefront of human potential.\" -Nightingale Conant \"Guy Finley has helped millions live fuller, more peaceable lives.\" -Barnes and Noble","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.guyfinley.org","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","https:\/\/x.com\/guy_finley"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/author\/gfinley"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/721","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/232"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=721"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/721\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":745,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/721\/revisions\/745"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=721"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=721"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=721"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}