Clearly, some experiences are far more impactful than others. The truth is that most moments in our life simply flow right by us, unnoticed; almost as if we\u2019re sitting by a great river, and only made aware of its seamless waters when something being carried along by them catches our eye.<\/p>\n
The following short story recounts one such experience that did more than catch my eye; it helped change the way I now look at every relationship in my life, including how I see myself.\u00a0In other words, although this event itself has long disappeared \u201cdownstream,\u201d merging its substance into the distant past, to this day its lesson remains a fixture in my perception of friends and family alike, a kind of North Star in the constellation of my consciousness.<\/p>\n
As you\u2019ll see, especially if you\u2019ll embrace the power of the timeless principle that it helps illustrate, the loving patience and deep kindness you\u2019ll need to succeed with the interior work of \u201cwaking up together\u201d will soon be shining into and through your heart, mind, and soul. Here\u2019s the true story.<\/p>\n
It all started very innocently: I had run out to the local market to pick up just a quick handful of items; my decision that I didn\u2019t need a cart turned out to be a mistake, so that my hands and arms were full as I approached the area where one pays for their groceries. But as I drew closer to the front area of the store where a number of cashiers are ordinarily waiting to check people out, it was evident that whoever was supposed to be managing customer service …must have momentarily checked out himself! There were only three cashiers with what looked like over twenty people divided into three long checkout lines\u2026and most with carts chock-full of groceries.<\/p>\n
So, I did what I imagine most of us do in situations like that: as I walked forward, I took an instant survey of the length of each of the three lines, estimating the number of items in the carts of those shoppers standing there, and then walked straight to the line that I felt sure would get me out of the store with the least amount of waiting time. Oh boy, was I wrong!<\/p>\n
All too soon it became evident that out of the three lines I could have picked, my choice proved itself the slowest of all. And, sure enough, it wasn’t too long before everyone else in line with me noticed this as well. That\u2019s when it started.<\/p>\n
Two carts ahead of me, a middle-aged man began to grumble under his breath; the words were unintelligible, but the meaning was clear. He wasn’t happy with the speed at which the shoppers ahead of him were being checked out and bagged. Apparently, his negativity was contagious.<\/p>\n
A moment later, the lady directly behind him \u2013 and just in front of me voiced, out loud, what I imagine most everyone in that line \u2013 including me, at the moment \u2013 was feeling:<\/p>\n
“Come on!\u201d she said. \u201cWhat gives here…I mean really? Could this line go any slower than it is?” And then, as often happens with any mob behavior, the negativity of one person seems to give a license to everyone else, and another person in line chimed in:<\/p>\n
“I know; can you believe it…I will never shop at this store again!”<\/p>\n
As I stood there, feeling this current of negative energy coursing through several of the people in line, something made me turn my attention to the cashier. She was showing the strain of standing there \u2013 likely for several hours now \u2013 having to silently suffer the brunt of the dark remarks being cast upon her skill as a cashier.<\/p>\n
The interesting thing is that the crowd\u2019s evident displeasure with her did not help her to speed up the work she was doing; instead it did just the opposite. As her stress mounted, so did the number of mistakes she made, requiring her to call for a supervisor to clear the cash register. You can just imagine how that went over with the people who already wanted to \u201cstone\u201d her.<\/p>\n
At any rate, by the time I reached my turn to check out, I could sense her trembling from head to toe. And even though the store was ice cold, tiny beads of sweat were starting to form on her brow. So, as my turn came, and we stood there face-to-face, it was evident that other than a cursory meeting of our eyes \u2013 to acknowledge one another \u2013 she had no interest, whatsoever, in looking at me. Who could blame her? No doubt, all she had seen in the eyes of the people checking out ahead of me was some form of hostility toward her. So, as I stood there, I called up the lightest tone I could and, with a little laugh underpinning my voice, I said, \u201cSome days are quite the adventure, aren\u2019t they!\u201d<\/p>\n
Almost immediately she lifted her eyes and met mine. Visibly relieved to see that I was friend, and not foe, she took a bit of a deep breath and did her best to smile back at me. I took it as permission to finish the thought behind my opening remark.<\/p>\n
“Never mind them,” I said to her, still in that moment of our relationship, \u201cseems everybody is in a bit of a rush these days, and sometimes impatience can get the best of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
She was still looking at me, trying to drink in something of the soothing energy I was hoping to convey. \u201cAnyway,\u201d I continued, “I’m not in any real hurry, so take your time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then came the lesson…a special kind \u201cgift\u201d I never could have imagined in a thousand years. My hope here is that by sharing it with you, you might be enriched too…and then go on to share a measure of it with all those you love.<\/p>\n
She smiled a real smile at me, and said: \u201cThank you so much for your patience. I\u2019m doing the best I can, but I\u2019m a new cashier at this store and . . . I\u2019m still in training.\u201d<\/p>\n
I laughed, and said: \u201cWell, aren\u2019t we all!\u201d<\/p>\n
She got it, instantly, and in that moment of our shared understanding, two complete strangers became new friends. Not only that, but I as I walked out of the store, grocery bag in hand, I uttered a silent thanks to the stars above me. Something remarkable had happened: unlike the unhappy shoppers standing there, regretting their \u201cmisfortune\u201d for having to wait in that long line…I left there full of gratitude for the whole experience.<\/p>\n
When it comes to loving one another, waking up together, not only are we all still learning its innumerable possibilities \u2013 going through with each other what we must in order to become more loving toward one another \u2013 but, this kind of higher love has no end to the lessons it has to teach us.<\/p>\n
In other words: when it comes to love we are all, and always will be…in training!<\/p>\n
This means we are going to make mistakes with how we treat one another; we\u2019re going to come up \u201cshort\u201d when it comes time to being forgiving and kind. Falling down \u201con the job\u201d is part of learning curve it takes to turn our intention to be patient with one another into the new power it takes to do so.<\/p>\n