{"id":5942,"date":"2018-09-13T01:00:23","date_gmt":"2018-09-13T05:00:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/?p=5942"},"modified":"2018-09-11T14:44:59","modified_gmt":"2018-09-11T18:44:59","slug":"new-understanding-elevates-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/new-understanding-elevates-relationships.html","title":{"rendered":"A New Understanding that Elevates Your Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When another human being falls short of our expectations and we realize that what we want is not going to happen, instead of our day being ruined, there is a way for us to elevate ourselves <u>and<\/u>\u00a0the other person in question. This special inner work begins with a new kind of wish born in us the moment we catch ourselves about do what we always do when facing a rocky moment in a relationship.<\/p>\n<p>Here you are with your husband, your wife, your children, your boss, the checker at the supermarket, and you know you\u2019ve judged, been cruel, or blamed others for your negative states until you\u2019re blue in the face, and you\u2019re weary of that. To this weariness you bring a willingness to enter into a new order of relationship which by its very existence at least suspends the moment in which you are about to take your usual action.<\/p>\n<p>Ordinarily, you\u2019re willing to sacrifice anything and anyone in order to prove to yourself that you\u2019re in the right, but once you start to wake up a little bit, you can realize, \u201cYou know what? Instead of reacting as usual here, I\u2019m going to actuate my understanding.\u201d\u00a0 Once you know where you need to be in any given moment, that which is natural to that part of yourself is given to you, but you must understand that inside of you is something that continues to keep you from doing that.<\/p>\n<p>Here is a way to work: Whenever someone hurts or disappoints you, remember that this person cannot do anything different than what he or she knows to do. Even though you are on fire, you can put your understanding first that this person would never be doing what they were doing if they knew better. No one wants to be punished for what they don\u2019t know, and the only way the other person will ever know that they don\u2019t know is when you stop punishing them for it.<\/p>\n<p>You can begin to understand that as a human being you have been put here for the purpose of rising, not for the point of proving yourself, and you can change what happens to you in that moment. You can quit the relationship that seems to be the only one possible right then, and join yourself to the relationship that you know in your heart stands there even if you can\u2019t see it, and you can intend to the Truth.<\/p>\n<p>Dare to intend to the Truth, to your understanding of Love, and as you intend to it, be willing to stay in that spot where you can\u2019t find who you are and you can\u2019t say who the other person is. Then Truth tells you everything, because you\u2019ve placed yourself where it\u2019s possible for it to make the connection with you, and you are raised instantaneously to a higher level of understanding that always had been waiting for you inside of that experience in your relationships.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.relationshipmagicbook.com\">http:\/\/www.relationshipmagicbook.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When another human being falls short of our expectations and we realize that what we want is not going to happen, instead of our day being ruined, there is a way for us to elevate ourselves and\u00a0the other person in question. This special inner work begins with a new kind of wish born in us&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":232,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,73],"tags":[1858,699,3088,237,3089,134],"class_list":["post-5942","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-raising-children","category-love-relationships","tag-expectations-of-others","tag-hurt","tag-misunderstandings","tag-reactions","tag-rocky-relationships","tag-sacrifice"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>A New Understanding that Elevates Your Relationships - Letting Go with Guy Finley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/new-understanding-elevates-relationships.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A New Understanding that Elevates Your Relationships - Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When another human being falls short of our expectations and we realize that what we want is not going to happen, instead of our day being ruined, there is a way for us to elevate ourselves and\u00a0the other person in question. This special inner work begins with a new kind of wish born in us&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/new-understanding-elevates-relationships.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-09-13T05:00:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-09-11T18:44:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@guy_finley\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"A New Understanding that Elevates Your Relationships - Letting Go with Guy Finley","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/new-understanding-elevates-relationships.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"A New Understanding that Elevates Your Relationships - Letting Go with Guy Finley","og_description":"When another human being falls short of our expectations and we realize that what we want is not going to happen, instead of our day being ruined, there is a way for us to elevate ourselves and\u00a0the other person in question. This special inner work begins with a new kind of wish born in us&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/new-understanding-elevates-relationships.html","og_site_name":"Letting Go with Guy Finley","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","article_published_time":"2018-09-13T05:00:23+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-09-11T18:44:59+00:00","author":"Guy Finley","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@guy_finley","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/new-understanding-elevates-relationships.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/new-understanding-elevates-relationships.html","name":"A New Understanding that Elevates Your Relationships - Letting Go with Guy Finley","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#website"},"datePublished":"2018-09-13T05:00:23+00:00","dateModified":"2018-09-11T18:44:59+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/1e80afed42f91bae3eb4ca59666c1d16"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/new-understanding-elevates-relationships.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/new-understanding-elevates-relationships.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/new-understanding-elevates-relationships.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"A New Understanding that Elevates Your Relationships"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/","name":"Letting Go with Guy Finley","description":"Holistic, Mental Health and Emotional Wellness","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/1e80afed42f91bae3eb4ca59666c1d16","name":"Guy Finley","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/308\/3082f4cd4990377da62358c5c69fd4e1x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/308\/3082f4cd4990377da62358c5c69fd4e1x96.jpg","caption":"Guy Finley"},"description":"Bestselling \"Letting Go\" author Guy Finley's encouraging and accessible message is one of the true bright lights in our world today. His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues - relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom - and lead the way to a higher life. Finley is the Founder and Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. He is the acclaimed author of \"The Secret of Letting Go\" and more than 45 other books and audio programs that have sold over two million copies in 26 languages worldwide. His work is widely endorsed by doctors, business professionals, celebrities, and religious leaders of all denominations. Through Life of Learning Foundation, Guy has presented over 5,000 unique self-realization seminars to thousands of grateful students throughout North America and Europe over the past 20 years and has been a guest on over 700 television and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and NPR. The Foundation's popular Key Lesson e-mails featuring inspirational quotes by Guy are read each week by a hundred thousand subscribers in 142 countries. Guy speaks four times each week on inner-life principles at Life of Learning Foundation's home in Merlin, Oregon. These meetings are ongoing and open to the public. For more information about Life of Learning Foundation, Guy Finley, and their life-changing messages, visit guyfinley.org. \"Guy Finley is...one of the leading experts at the forefront of human potential.\" -Nightingale Conant \"Guy Finley has helped millions live fuller, more peaceable lives.\" -Barnes and Noble","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.guyfinley.org","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","https:\/\/x.com\/guy_finley"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/author\/gfinley"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5942","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/232"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5942"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5942\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5943,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5942\/revisions\/5943"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5942"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5942"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5942"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}