{"id":5928,"date":"2018-09-04T17:26:49","date_gmt":"2018-09-04T21:26:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/?p=5928"},"modified":"2018-09-04T17:30:14","modified_gmt":"2018-09-04T21:30:14","slug":"difference-helpful-hurtful","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/difference-helpful-hurtful.html","title":{"rendered":"The Difference Between Helpful and Hurtful"},"content":{"rendered":"

In any relationship where one person depends on another <\/strong>to be his or her “parachute” \u2013 and the other accepts this role \u2013both will fall to the ground.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Question: <\/strong>I know someone who is always down in the dumps, and I want to help uplift him by sharing the truths I am learning. Without using interfering tactics that might actually do harm, how can we help others to come awake to themselves?<\/p>\n

Answer:\u00a0<\/strong>One of the most difficult aspects of our work is learning to bear the unpleasant manifestations of people around us. But this can also help us grow quickly. If by interfering tactics you mean, “make someone see the light,” it is impossible. But if we will do our work, which often requires waiting out our own unpleasantness before speaking, then not only can we lend someone a helpful word or action, but they will see that we are behaving differently. This willingness on our part to inwardly accept the weight of our own burdens first is really the best invitation to others to become interested in self-study.<\/p>\n

\"sitting<\/a><\/p>\n

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http:\/\/www.relationshipmagicbook.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In any relationship where one person depends on another to be his or her “parachute” \u2013 and the other accepts this role \u2013both will fall to the ground. Question: I know someone who is always down in the dumps, and I want to help uplift him by sharing the truths I am learning. Without using…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":232,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[672,73],"tags":[860,3087,2012,246,2176],"class_list":["post-5928","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-changetransformation","category-love-relationships","tag-codependency","tag-codependent-relationship","tag-enabling","tag-helping-others","tag-negativity-of-others"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Difference Between Helpful and Hurtful - Letting Go with Guy Finley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2018\/09\/difference-helpful-hurtful.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Difference Between Helpful and Hurtful - Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In any relationship where one person depends on another to be his or her “parachute” \u2013 and the other accepts this role \u2013both will fall to the ground. 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