{"id":5468,"date":"2017-08-07T12:01:20","date_gmt":"2017-08-07T16:01:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/?p=5468"},"modified":"2017-08-06T22:18:37","modified_gmt":"2017-08-07T02:18:37","slug":"letting-go-painful-experiences","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2017\/08\/letting-go-painful-experiences.html","title":{"rendered":"Letting Go of Painful Experiences"},"content":{"rendered":"

Question:<\/strong> When we have a negative experience and we want to let it go, why is it so difficult to just drop it? We wouldn\u2019t hold on to a hot iron if we grabbed it!<\/p>\n

Answer:<\/strong> Because the pain, the problem, isn\u2019t the event itself. If there was a you involved in the moment of whatever the condition is, then the condition wouldn\u2019t play out the way it does.\u00a0I am half the equation I don\u2019t want in my life. <\/em>What I can\u2019t let go of isn\u2019t because it can\u2019t be dropped, but because something in me is clinging to it.\u00a0Only the awareness of this part of myself that is fascinated with what it doesn\u2019t want can bring the end of that fascination and free me from that level of self.<\/p>\n

Question:<\/strong> How do we make letting go a daily practice?<\/p>\n

Answer:<\/strong> The first thing that everybody has to understand is that letting go isn\u2019t an idea; it\u2019s a necessity.<\/p>\n

When the fall comes and it is time for the trees to let go of their leaves, the tree doesn\u2019t have to think to itself, \u201cWhat do I do with these leaves?\u201d There is a natural relationship between the environment, the tree, and the leaves.<\/p>\n

Letting go is the most natural thing on the earth. It\u2019s what happens when I realize that something has served its purpose and is of no further use to me -\u2013 for instance my anger, my impatience, or my fear. But I have to be present enough, aware of the fact that these old forms are coming out on this tree, and recognize, \u201cYou know what? That is no longer of any use to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The clearer I can be of the uselessness of the old states that used to define me, the easier they fall away. There is no struggle in it. It\u2019s a recognition of what is useless and what is useful, and nothing is more useful than letting go of useless negative states.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: When we have a negative experience and we want to let it go, why is it so difficult to just drop it? We wouldn\u2019t hold on to a hot iron if we grabbed it! Answer: Because the pain, the problem, isn\u2019t the event itself. If there was a you involved in the moment of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":232,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,130],"tags":[2834,2836,2835,2713,1646,21,2837],"class_list":["post-5468","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-letting-go","category-pain-2","tag-clinging-to-pain","tag-fascination-with-pain","tag-holding-on-to-pain","tag-negative-events","tag-painful-experiences","tag-resistance","tag-self-involvement"],"yoast_head":"\nLetting Go of Painful Experiences - Letting Go with Guy Finley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2017\/08\/letting-go-painful-experiences.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Letting Go of Painful Experiences - Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question: When we have a negative experience and we want to let it go, why is it so difficult to just drop it? We wouldn\u2019t hold on to a hot iron if we grabbed it! Answer: Because the pain, the problem, isn\u2019t the event itself. 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His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues - relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom - and lead the way to a higher life. Finley is the Founder and Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. He is the acclaimed author of \"The Secret of Letting Go\" and more than 45 other books and audio programs that have sold over two million copies in 26 languages worldwide. His work is widely endorsed by doctors, business professionals, celebrities, and religious leaders of all denominations. Through Life of Learning Foundation, Guy has presented over 5,000 unique self-realization seminars to thousands of grateful students throughout North America and Europe over the past 20 years and has been a guest on over 700 television and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and NPR. 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