{"id":5446,"date":"2017-07-19T01:00:10","date_gmt":"2017-07-19T05:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/?p=5446"},"modified":"2017-07-16T10:27:05","modified_gmt":"2017-07-16T14:27:05","slug":"realize-real-purpose-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2017\/07\/realize-real-purpose-relationship.html","title":{"rendered":"Realize the Real Purpose of Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

How many men or women do you know that when a fight has begun \u2013 or even in the middle of one \u2013 they suddenly see and agree that to blame the other person for the state that they are in is a lie? How long would a fight go on between any two human beings if one of those individuals awakened sufficiently enough to see that the pattern of fighting with another person to prove that I\u2019m right<\/em> is in fact the proof that I\u2019m in the wrong<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Our experience has shown us that the fighting continues because we are not learning from the relationship. Instead we are burning over what someone or other has implied that we are or that we are not doing and therefore we are at fault. We are never at fault in our relationships until at last the fighting becomes so egregious that we can\u2019t hide the truth from ourselves anymore. And by the time we reach that point with other human beings, we have most often ruined whatever little love had brought us together in the first place.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, in our relationship with our own psychology, reaching the point where we realize that we can no longer defend ourselves is what happens when people finally get serious about recovering from addiction or substance abuse\u2026 because they\u2019ve run out of excuses for the weakness that hid itself through their relationship with the addictive substance. The same holds true with the people in our lives we fight with: we hold them responsible for our pain, for the disturbance we feel, when the truth is (to see it properly), they are not creating the disturbance in this relationship. They are revealing to us in that moment the part of us that lays in the dark and waits to get disturbed so it can hide behind the cloud of war.<\/p>\n

Any time we find ourselves defending some characteristic, some quality in ourselves that we have been affecting, we can be quite sure that in the moment we are called to fight with someone or to prove that we are who we are pretending to be, that we are not what we have pretended to be. And because we are beginning to understand that, before all other things, the purpose of our relationships with others is revelation<\/em>, we should thank that person for helping us wake up to the fact that there is a difference between the struggle to appear to be something and being what we actually are in the moment. In this way, we serve the real purpose of that relationship<\/em> by seeing what we are as a result of it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How many men or women do you know that when a fight has begun \u2013 or even in the middle of one \u2013 they suddenly see and agree that to blame the other person for the state that they are in is a lie? How long would a fight go on between any two human…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":232,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[73,8],"tags":[729,116,2815,2814,300,184,1703,201],"class_list":["post-5446","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-relationships","category-negative-states","tag-addiction","tag-blame","tag-broken-relationships","tag-fighting-with-others","tag-judgment","tag-justification","tag-pretense","tag-weakness"],"yoast_head":"\nRealize the Real Purpose of Relationship - Letting Go with Guy Finley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2017\/07\/realize-real-purpose-relationship.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Realize the Real Purpose of Relationship - Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How many men or women do you know that when a fight has begun \u2013 or even in the middle of one \u2013 they suddenly see and agree that to blame the other person for the state that they are in is a lie? 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His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues - relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom - and lead the way to a higher life. Finley is the Founder and Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. He is the acclaimed author of \"The Secret of Letting Go\" and more than 45 other books and audio programs that have sold over two million copies in 26 languages worldwide. His work is widely endorsed by doctors, business professionals, celebrities, and religious leaders of all denominations. Through Life of Learning Foundation, Guy has presented over 5,000 unique self-realization seminars to thousands of grateful students throughout North America and Europe over the past 20 years and has been a guest on over 700 television and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and NPR. 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For more information about Life of Learning Foundation, Guy Finley, and their life-changing messages, visit guyfinley.org. \"Guy Finley is...one of the leading experts at the forefront of human potential.\" -Nightingale Conant \"Guy Finley has helped millions live fuller, more peaceable lives.\" -Barnes and Noble","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.guyfinley.org","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","https:\/\/x.com\/guy_finley"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/author\/gfinley"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5446","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/232"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5446"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5446\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5447,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5446\/revisions\/5447"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5446"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5446"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5446"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}