{"id":5388,"date":"2017-06-09T12:00:51","date_gmt":"2017-06-09T16:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/?p=5388"},"modified":"2017-06-04T16:02:39","modified_gmt":"2017-06-04T20:02:39","slug":"10-causes-needless-heartaches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2017\/06\/10-causes-needless-heartaches.html","title":{"rendered":"10 Causes of Needless Heartaches"},"content":{"rendered":"

Why do we accept so much unhappiness in our lives today? If you think this supposition is untrue, ask yourself why people spend so much time seeking ways to distract themselves with empty pleasures? Or why so many people push themselves along one spiritual path after another, blindly hoping that something<\/em> will happen to mitigate their sense of emptiness?<\/p>\n

The self that is moved to do this kind of imagining does not understand that some unseen force of sorrow or distress fuels its dream engine. Consequently, the more it works to imagine some hoped-for happiness, the more identified it becomes with the opposite of what is driving this dream of brighter times to come.<\/p>\n

Our lives are meant to be bright, noble, and ever ascending. This promise of our true potential is made good in us by fulfilling our possibilities and not through the interminable struggle of trying to prove what is impossible. Most of our sorrows are the stressful offspring of trying to be something we have no real need to be; they are born for attempting to do what cannot\u2014and need not\u2014be done.<\/p>\n

The following 10\u00a0Causes of Needless Heartaches<\/em> reveal how we cause ourselves unnecessary suffering. Each of these ten insights contains two key ideas: First, whenever we are goaded into attempting the \u201cimpossible,\u201d we not only suffer defeat, but we also strengthen the self that would have us believe it\u2019s possible to put a fire out with gasoline. Second, as we awaken to see these false workings in our mind, we also see there is only one possible solution to end the suffering they cause: we must stop listening to and obeying their foolish advice. In other words, as soon as we see that the healing we hope for begins<\/em> with releasing our unseen relationship with the parts of ourselves that are responsible for our self-hurting, the sooner our heartaches end.<\/p>\n

Now, let\u2019s look at ten small places in our lives where we are trying to do the impossible and where, as a result of our misunderstanding, we are still sowing and reaping the harvest of frustration and heartache.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. It is impossible to make<\/em> others see where they have made a mistake.<\/li>\n
  2. It is impossible to be carried to a secure and peaceful harbor on a ship crafted by anxiety or fueled by fearful feelings.<\/li>\n
  3. It is impossible to gain real happiness at the expense of someone else\u2019s pain.<\/li>\n
  4. It is impossible to genuinely elevate yourself by pushing another person lower.<\/li>\n
  5. It is impossible to take advantage of others without living in secret fear of them.<\/li>\n
  6. It is impossible to realize the fulfillment of the Divine as long as we remain filled with ourselves.<\/li>\n
  7. It is impossible to rise above any fear or worry whose root we have not found, uncovered, and removed from our own present misunderstanding.<\/li>\n
  8. It is impossible to receive forgiveness in life without having learned what it means to freely forgive.<\/li>\n
  9. It is impossible to wish another person any kind of ill, for any reason, and not be made sick ourselves.<\/li>\n
  10. It is impossible to resist or hate any condition in life and learn from it at the same time.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    See how many ways you can enlarge this list through insights of your own about the ways in which you are being tricked into punishing yourself. This is priceless self-study and it rewards the sincere seeker with a life free of unnecessary sorrow. Remember and honor your intention to win Real Life by daring to act out the truths that set you free. This is the challenge, and the cost, of earning true contentment in life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Why do we accept so much unhappiness in our lives today? If you think this supposition is untrue, ask yourself why people spend so much time seeking ways to distract themselves with empty pleasures? Or why so many people push themselves along one spiritual path after another, blindly hoping that something will happen to mitigate…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":232,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[130,514],"tags":[1283,63,37,179,1240,1214,35,755,296,336,805],"class_list":["post-5388","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pain-2","category-wholeness-happiness","tag-distress","tag-emptiness","tag-fear","tag-forgiveness","tag-hatred","tag-heartache","tag-relationship","tag-sorrow","tag-suffering","tag-unhappiness","tag-useless-suffering"],"yoast_head":"\n10 Causes of Needless Heartaches - Letting Go with Guy Finley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2017\/06\/10-causes-needless-heartaches.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"10 Causes of Needless Heartaches - Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why do we accept so much unhappiness in our lives today? 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His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues - relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom - and lead the way to a higher life. Finley is the Founder and Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. He is the acclaimed author of \"The Secret of Letting Go\" and more than 45 other books and audio programs that have sold over two million copies in 26 languages worldwide. His work is widely endorsed by doctors, business professionals, celebrities, and religious leaders of all denominations. Through Life of Learning Foundation, Guy has presented over 5,000 unique self-realization seminars to thousands of grateful students throughout North America and Europe over the past 20 years and has been a guest on over 700 television and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and NPR. 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For more information about Life of Learning Foundation, Guy Finley, and their life-changing messages, visit guyfinley.org. \"Guy Finley is...one of the leading experts at the forefront of human potential.\" -Nightingale Conant \"Guy Finley has helped millions live fuller, more peaceable lives.\" -Barnes and Noble","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.guyfinley.org","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","https:\/\/x.com\/guy_finley"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/author\/gfinley"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5388","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/232"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5388"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5388\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5389,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5388\/revisions\/5389"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5388"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5388"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5388"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}