{"id":5105,"date":"2016-12-05T12:00:26","date_gmt":"2016-12-05T17:00:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/?p=5105"},"modified":"2016-12-04T21:21:34","modified_gmt":"2016-12-05T02:21:34","slug":"let-go-loneliness-discontentment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2016\/12\/let-go-loneliness-discontentment.html","title":{"rendered":"Let Go of Loneliness and Discontentment"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Nothing is more discontented than our lower nature, the false self. It is always unhappy with one thing or another. If there is one weed in a field of roses, you can bet that is what it will see. Since it has no real life of its own, it must endlessly create stimulating thoughts and feelings of one kind or another in order to give it the sensations of being alive. Like Sisyphus, the king of ancient Carthage who was condemned in Hades to a life of endlessly pushing a giant rock up a hill, only to have it roll back down again, the false self must create and re-create its life over and over and over again. It is desperately afraid of not having the next thing to do, even if it\u2019s only to suffer over not yet having the next thing to do. Since this false nature can\u2019t really be anything in reality, it must endlessly inwardly and outwardly do things in order to provide it with the sensations of being.<\/p>\n<p>The never-ending dilemma of this false self is that all its self-generated sensations are \u201cin time.\u201d What this means is that sooner or later, these self-stimulating sensations, whether pleasurable or painful, are going to come to an end. All things physical must pass; this is a universal law. All sensations must fade, because sensations are merely echoes of a sort, separate and apart from their cause. Echoes, wherever they temporarily exist, are a kind of phantom. They have an appearance but no real substance. An echo is a shadow; it only seems to be there.<\/p>\n<p>Discontentment is a kind of psychic echo. In fact, whatever the unhappiness may be, it is only an inner echo that is \u201csounding\u201d within us. As difficult as it may be to understand this at the present time, suffering only seems real. It has no real life. How is this possible?<\/p>\n<p>Our inner stress, strain, and pain feel real to us, for sure; but then, so do all of the fears we feel in the middle of a nightmare. But where is the terror once we wake up? It doesn\u2019t exist anymore because it was only real as long as we were participating in the bad dream. Try and see this important idea. A painful event, whether it\u2019s twenty-four hours or twenty-four years old, echoes within us as a memory of some kind. The emotional \u201csound\u201d of it when it is recalled makes us feel uncomfortable and discontented. So we set out to isolate this disturbance, identify and resolve it, in order to regain the contentment we say we will feel once this ache goes away.<\/p>\n<p>All of this sounds reasonable, right? Wrong! The catch here, and where we always take the wrong turn, is that the \u201cyou\u201d who sets out to turn the discontentment into contentment isn\u2019t really you at all! Let\u2019s try to understand this amazing new idea by imagining a man lost in a series of deep and dark caverns. He anxiously shouts out \u201chello!\u201d and then strains to listen for a response. A heartbeat passes, and in the distance he hears \u201chello, hello.\u201d His spirits surge, and off he races in the direction of the caller. He doesn\u2019t understand it is only an echo. He doesn\u2019t know he is following the sound of his own voice\u2014a voice that is taking him deeper and deeper into the caves and further away from any real help that could deliver him back into the sunlight.<\/p>\n<p>In an illustration like this, it is easy for us to see that the man lost in the cave didn\u2019t know he was listening to himself. If he had known differently, he wouldn\u2019t have trusted or followed the sound of his own voice echoing back at him. His mistake was assuming that the voice he was hearing belonged to someone else who wasn\u2019t lost like he was.<\/p>\n<p>When it comes to discontentment or any other unhappiness, we are making a similar painful mistake that is taking us further and further away from real rescue. Like the man lost in the caves, we are living with and acting from an equally false assumption. We believe that those voices within us, which so readily point out the discontentment in our lives, are doing this pointing from some safe harbor of contentment that we can reach only by following their directions. These persistent and often highly pitched thoughts and feelings project a future well-being for us, a safe harbor\u2014but a harbor that wouldn\u2019t be necessary if these same thoughts and feelings hadn\u2019t whipped up a storm in the first place. See this! The false self is trying endlessly to get your attention in order to point out to you that there is something missing in your life. Who needs a friend who wakes you up every night to ask if you are asleep?<\/p>\n<p>You are not who you think you are. Your present level of thinking is your discontentment because, for the present, the one doing your thinking is Mr. Discontented himself, the false self. I want to make this very clear. You are not discontented. You have never been unhappy, not now or ever before. No self-described condition of what you have or don\u2019t have is at the root of your aching. Your feelings of discontentment and unhappiness, all of these hollow echoes, are the very nature of the false self with which you have unknowingly identified.<\/p>\n<p>Try to remember that what you really want isn\u2019t just to feel different. No, you want to be different. Where feelings invariably fail, being always triumphs. Who you really are is not separate from the very cause of life itself. We can use other words to name this absolute Source, but again, what we call it is not of any importance. What is important to remember is when something from within you starts telling you that you are all alone, you are not hearing your nature but the voice of separateness itself. This is why you must never do anything about your discontentment\u2014because it is not your discontentment.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t be afraid of not having something to do. If you will permit the inner echoing to fade, it will disappear\u2014and with it, the false self. Choose being over doing, and one day there will be no more pain in what you do or don\u2019t do, because you won\u2019t be doing anything anymore to prove to yourself that you are real. You are, and you will know it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Nothing is more discontented than our lower nature, the false self. It is always unhappy with one thing or another. If there is one weed in a field of roses, you can bet that is what it will see. Since it has no real life of its own, it must endlessly create stimulating thoughts and&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":232,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69,514],"tags":[647,1611,1093,1679,1208,1259,2633,28,336],"class_list":["post-5105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sadness-depression","category-wholeness-happiness","tag-discontentment","tag-false-self","tag-letting-go-of-the-past","tag-loneliness","tag-lower-nature","tag-painful-memories","tag-psychic-echoes","tag-stress","tag-unhappiness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Let Go of Loneliness and Discontentment - Letting Go with Guy Finley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2016\/12\/let-go-loneliness-discontentment.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Let Go of Loneliness and Discontentment - Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Nothing is more discontented than our lower nature, the false self. 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His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues - relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom - and lead the way to a higher life. Finley is the Founder and Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. He is the acclaimed author of \"The Secret of Letting Go\" and more than 45 other books and audio programs that have sold over two million copies in 26 languages worldwide. His work is widely endorsed by doctors, business professionals, celebrities, and religious leaders of all denominations. Through Life of Learning Foundation, Guy has presented over 5,000 unique self-realization seminars to thousands of grateful students throughout North America and Europe over the past 20 years and has been a guest on over 700 television and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and NPR. The Foundation's popular Key Lesson e-mails featuring inspirational quotes by Guy are read each week by a hundred thousand subscribers in 142 countries. Guy speaks four times each week on inner-life principles at Life of Learning Foundation's home in Merlin, Oregon. These meetings are ongoing and open to the public. For more information about Life of Learning Foundation, Guy Finley, and their life-changing messages, visit guyfinley.org. \"Guy Finley is...one of the leading experts at the forefront of human potential.\" -Nightingale Conant \"Guy Finley has helped millions live fuller, more peaceable lives.\" -Barnes and Noble","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.guyfinley.org","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","https:\/\/x.com\/guy_finley"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/author\/gfinley"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5105","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/232"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5105"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5105\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5106,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5105\/revisions\/5106"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5105"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5105"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5105"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}