{"id":3405,"date":"2014-06-11T12:00:51","date_gmt":"2014-06-11T16:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/?p=3405"},"modified":"2014-06-09T09:53:26","modified_gmt":"2014-06-09T13:53:26","slug":"how-to-end-the-cycle-of-hurting-and-being-hurt-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2014\/06\/how-to-end-the-cycle-of-hurting-and-being-hurt-part-2.html","title":{"rendered":"How to End the Cycle of Hurting and Being Hurt  (Part 2)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It doesn\u2019t matter how, or where, this dark cycle of conflict got started. It is not important any longer. Why? Because once we understand that to try to hurt someone &#8212; even just to want to &#8212; is to hurt ourselves, it makes no difference who did what to whom, or for whatever reasons. Once we come aware to the fact that when we hate, we feel this hatred first in ourselves, our relationship with this darkness is done. The whole issue becomes as simple as this: Hatred hurts us, not the person we blame for it. To hold a wish to punish someone begins with the unconscious embrace of the very pain we wish to inflict.<\/p>\n<p>Our discoveries about conflict with each other all tell one story: Nothing grows on a battlefield except for the number of cries. Nothing can develop in us as long as the truth about our condition remains buried beneath so much misunderstanding. The point is that the pain we pass onto one another must stop somewhere or this cycle of conflict will never cease. And it must, or else the vital energies we need to grow beyond ourselves will simply be poured back into the earth for purposes unknown to us, even as we are compelled to serve conflict\u2019s dark plan through our unconscious suffering.<\/p>\n<p>So, what is the alternative? \u2026 [to be continued]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It doesn\u2019t matter how, or where, this dark cycle of conflict got started. It is not important any longer. Why? Because once we understand that to try to hurt someone &#8212; even just to want to &#8212; is to hurt ourselves, it makes no difference who did what to whom, or for whatever reasons. Once&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":232,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[167,75],"tags":[11,286,1240,789,699,1939,52,237,76,374],"class_list":["post-3405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-current-events","category-kindness-compassion","tag-awareness","tag-conflict","tag-hatred","tag-hostility","tag-hurt","tag-hurting","tag-pain","tag-reactions","tag-relationships","tag-war"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to End the Cycle of Hurting and Being Hurt (Part 2) - Letting Go with Guy Finley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2014\/06\/how-to-end-the-cycle-of-hurting-and-being-hurt-part-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to End the Cycle of Hurting and Being Hurt (Part 2) - Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It doesn\u2019t matter how, or where, this dark cycle of conflict got started. It is not important any longer. Why? Because once we understand that to try to hurt someone &#8212; even just to want to &#8212; is to hurt ourselves, it makes no difference who did what to whom, or for whatever reasons. Once&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2014\/06\/how-to-end-the-cycle-of-hurting-and-being-hurt-part-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-06-11T16:00:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-06-09T13:53:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@guy_finley\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to End the Cycle of Hurting and Being Hurt (Part 2) - Letting Go with Guy Finley","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2014\/06\/how-to-end-the-cycle-of-hurting-and-being-hurt-part-2.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to End the Cycle of Hurting and Being Hurt (Part 2) - Letting Go with Guy Finley","og_description":"It doesn\u2019t matter how, or where, this dark cycle of conflict got started. It is not important any longer. Why? Because once we understand that to try to hurt someone &#8212; even just to want to &#8212; is to hurt ourselves, it makes no difference who did what to whom, or for whatever reasons. Once&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2014\/06\/how-to-end-the-cycle-of-hurting-and-being-hurt-part-2.html","og_site_name":"Letting Go with Guy Finley","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","article_published_time":"2014-06-11T16:00:51+00:00","article_modified_time":"2014-06-09T13:53:26+00:00","author":"Guy Finley","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@guy_finley","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2014\/06\/how-to-end-the-cycle-of-hurting-and-being-hurt-part-2.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2014\/06\/how-to-end-the-cycle-of-hurting-and-being-hurt-part-2.html","name":"How to End the Cycle of Hurting and Being Hurt (Part 2) - Letting Go with Guy Finley","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#website"},"datePublished":"2014-06-11T16:00:51+00:00","dateModified":"2014-06-09T13:53:26+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/1e80afed42f91bae3eb4ca59666c1d16"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2014\/06\/how-to-end-the-cycle-of-hurting-and-being-hurt-part-2.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2014\/06\/how-to-end-the-cycle-of-hurting-and-being-hurt-part-2.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2014\/06\/how-to-end-the-cycle-of-hurting-and-being-hurt-part-2.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to End the Cycle of Hurting and Being Hurt (Part 2)"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/","name":"Letting Go with Guy Finley","description":"Holistic, Mental Health and Emotional Wellness","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/1e80afed42f91bae3eb4ca59666c1d16","name":"Guy Finley","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/308\/3082f4cd4990377da62358c5c69fd4e1x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/308\/3082f4cd4990377da62358c5c69fd4e1x96.jpg","caption":"Guy Finley"},"description":"Bestselling \"Letting Go\" author Guy Finley's encouraging and accessible message is one of the true bright lights in our world today. His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues - relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom - and lead the way to a higher life. Finley is the Founder and Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. He is the acclaimed author of \"The Secret of Letting Go\" and more than 45 other books and audio programs that have sold over two million copies in 26 languages worldwide. His work is widely endorsed by doctors, business professionals, celebrities, and religious leaders of all denominations. Through Life of Learning Foundation, Guy has presented over 5,000 unique self-realization seminars to thousands of grateful students throughout North America and Europe over the past 20 years and has been a guest on over 700 television and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and NPR. The Foundation's popular Key Lesson e-mails featuring inspirational quotes by Guy are read each week by a hundred thousand subscribers in 142 countries. Guy speaks four times each week on inner-life principles at Life of Learning Foundation's home in Merlin, Oregon. These meetings are ongoing and open to the public. For more information about Life of Learning Foundation, Guy Finley, and their life-changing messages, visit guyfinley.org. \"Guy Finley is...one of the leading experts at the forefront of human potential.\" -Nightingale Conant \"Guy Finley has helped millions live fuller, more peaceable lives.\" -Barnes and Noble","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.guyfinley.org","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","https:\/\/x.com\/guy_finley"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/author\/gfinley"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3405","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/232"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3405"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3405\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3408,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3405\/revisions\/3408"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}