{"id":2617,"date":"2013-06-24T03:00:01","date_gmt":"2013-06-24T07:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lettinggo\/?p=2617"},"modified":"2013-06-23T19:33:31","modified_gmt":"2013-06-23T23:33:31","slug":"the-first-step-to-dropping-dark-states-is-to-stop-defending-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2013\/06\/the-first-step-to-dropping-dark-states-is-to-stop-defending-them.html","title":{"rendered":"The First Step to Dropping Dark States Is to Stop Defending Them"},"content":{"rendered":"

In this life, we have one of two choices when it comes to painful events, past or present. We can either go on hating and fearing what we think life has done to us (or others), and let these negative reactions create our experience for us … or we can learn to use these same dark reactions to free ourselves from them. But just wanting to learn the truth isn’t enough; we have to be willing to see the truth if we want its liberating touch.<\/p>\n

Hating the past and blaming it for the pain we’re in now seems to justify our continuing suffering. But whatever justifies blame and hatred is, itself, a part of — in league with –these negative states. And that’s what we have to see (within us) if we ever want to be free of whatever it is in us that has “good reasons” for tearing itself apart. It’s “common” spiritual sense: Love doesn’t hate anything; it sees (and knows) the secret unity in all it beholds. Light doesn’t fear shadows; it gently transforms them into open space.<\/p>\n

When we know that whatever happens to us can be for the good of us — and choose to learn from these moments instead of burn over them — miracles happen. We can awaken to see that some of the best “gifts” we are given are the ones we want least … which is another whole story to be discovered by anyone who wants to be free.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In this life, we have one of two choices when it comes to painful events, past or present. We can either go on hating and fearing what we think life has done to us (or others), and let these negative reactions create our experience for us … or we can learn to use these same…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":232,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[672,8],"tags":[116,223,56,37,169,723,173,296,736],"class_list":["post-2617","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-changetransformation","category-negative-states","tag-blame","tag-dark-states","tag-darkness","tag-fear","tag-hate","tag-negative-reactions","tag-painful-past","tag-suffering","tag-transformation"],"yoast_head":"\nThe First Step to Dropping Dark States Is to Stop Defending Them - Letting Go with Guy Finley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2013\/06\/the-first-step-to-dropping-dark-states-is-to-stop-defending-them.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The First Step to Dropping Dark States Is to Stop Defending Them - Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In this life, we have one of two choices when it comes to painful events, past or present. We can either go on hating and fearing what we think life has done to us (or others), and let these negative reactions create our experience for us … or we can learn to use these same…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2013\/06\/the-first-step-to-dropping-dark-states-is-to-stop-defending-them.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-06-24T07:00:01+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-06-23T23:33:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@guy_finley\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The First Step to Dropping Dark States Is to Stop Defending Them - Letting Go with Guy Finley","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2013\/06\/the-first-step-to-dropping-dark-states-is-to-stop-defending-them.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The First Step to Dropping Dark States Is to Stop Defending Them - Letting Go with Guy Finley","og_description":"In this life, we have one of two choices when it comes to painful events, past or present. We can either go on hating and fearing what we think life has done to us (or others), and let these negative reactions create our experience for us … or we can learn to use these same…","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2013\/06\/the-first-step-to-dropping-dark-states-is-to-stop-defending-them.html","og_site_name":"Letting Go with Guy Finley","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","article_published_time":"2013-06-24T07:00:01+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-06-23T23:33:31+00:00","author":"Guy Finley","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@guy_finley","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2013\/06\/the-first-step-to-dropping-dark-states-is-to-stop-defending-them.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2013\/06\/the-first-step-to-dropping-dark-states-is-to-stop-defending-them.html","name":"The First Step to Dropping Dark States Is to Stop Defending Them - Letting Go with Guy Finley","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#website"},"datePublished":"2013-06-24T07:00:01+00:00","dateModified":"2013-06-23T23:33:31+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/1e80afed42f91bae3eb4ca59666c1d16"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2013\/06\/the-first-step-to-dropping-dark-states-is-to-stop-defending-them.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2013\/06\/the-first-step-to-dropping-dark-states-is-to-stop-defending-them.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2013\/06\/the-first-step-to-dropping-dark-states-is-to-stop-defending-them.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The First Step to Dropping Dark States Is to Stop Defending Them"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/","name":"Letting Go with Guy Finley","description":"Holistic, Mental Health and Emotional Wellness","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/1e80afed42f91bae3eb4ca59666c1d16","name":"Guy Finley","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/308\/3082f4cd4990377da62358c5c69fd4e1x96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/308\/3082f4cd4990377da62358c5c69fd4e1x96.jpg","caption":"Guy Finley"},"description":"Bestselling \"Letting Go\" author Guy Finley's encouraging and accessible message is one of the true bright lights in our world today. His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues - relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom - and lead the way to a higher life. Finley is the Founder and Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. He is the acclaimed author of \"The Secret of Letting Go\" and more than 45 other books and audio programs that have sold over two million copies in 26 languages worldwide. His work is widely endorsed by doctors, business professionals, celebrities, and religious leaders of all denominations. Through Life of Learning Foundation, Guy has presented over 5,000 unique self-realization seminars to thousands of grateful students throughout North America and Europe over the past 20 years and has been a guest on over 700 television and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and NPR. The Foundation's popular Key Lesson e-mails featuring inspirational quotes by Guy are read each week by a hundred thousand subscribers in 142 countries. Guy speaks four times each week on inner-life principles at Life of Learning Foundation's home in Merlin, Oregon. These meetings are ongoing and open to the public. For more information about Life of Learning Foundation, Guy Finley, and their life-changing messages, visit guyfinley.org. \"Guy Finley is...one of the leading experts at the forefront of human potential.\" -Nightingale Conant \"Guy Finley has helped millions live fuller, more peaceable lives.\" -Barnes and Noble","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.guyfinley.org","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","https:\/\/x.com\/guy_finley"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/author\/gfinley"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2617","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/232"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2617"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2617\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2618,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2617\/revisions\/2618"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2617"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2617"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2617"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}