{"id":1709,"date":"2012-07-09T03:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-07-09T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lettinggo\/?p=1709"},"modified":"2012-07-04T12:56:06","modified_gmt":"2012-07-04T16:56:06","slug":"new-understanding-about-lies-and-betrayal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2012\/07\/new-understanding-about-lies-and-betrayal.html","title":{"rendered":"New Understanding About Lies and Betrayal"},"content":{"rendered":"

Question:<\/strong> I have been married for more many years. Recently, I discovered that my husband, who travels a lot for his job, has been unfaithful to me during his time away from home. I don’t want to expose that I know he cheated on me because I’m afraid he will leave me. What should I do?<\/p>\n

Answer:<\/strong> It’s of little comfort when someone we love has betrayed us, but while comfort may be what we want in such times, what we really need is a new understanding of who we are… that includes realizing our value as a human being is not determined by others, let alone someone who doesn’t even value his own integrity. I know it’s hard to see it just now, but your pain is nothing compared to that of the one who causes it; yes, it seems you’re being lied to, but anyone who lies lives in hell. Your pain will wither and pass in time (if you will just let it go); his will fester and eventually consume him. That’s how it works when we consent to compromise ourselves (and then others, as a result). So don’t allow yourself to be made in his image by allowing resentment or hatred to rule your heart. Yes, it’s a tough row to hoe, but nothing compared to the future that awaits those who lie about love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Question: I have been married for more many years. Recently, I discovered that my husband, who travels a lot for his job, has been unfaithful to me during his time away from home. I don’t want to expose that I know he cheated on me because I’m afraid he will leave me. What should I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":232,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,73],"tags":[151,149,1240,1241,555,798,749,52,79,1239],"class_list":["post-1709","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-letting-go","category-love-relationships","tag-betrayal","tag-cheating","tag-hatred","tag-infidelity","tag-integrity","tag-lies","tag-my-husband-cheated-on-me","tag-pain","tag-resentment","tag-self-worth"],"yoast_head":"\nNew Understanding About Lies and Betrayal - Letting Go with Guy Finley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2012\/07\/new-understanding-about-lies-and-betrayal.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"New Understanding About Lies and Betrayal - Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Question: I have been married for more many years. 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His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues - relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom - and lead the way to a higher life. Finley is the Founder and Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. He is the acclaimed author of \"The Secret of Letting Go\" and more than 45 other books and audio programs that have sold over two million copies in 26 languages worldwide. His work is widely endorsed by doctors, business professionals, celebrities, and religious leaders of all denominations. Through Life of Learning Foundation, Guy has presented over 5,000 unique self-realization seminars to thousands of grateful students throughout North America and Europe over the past 20 years and has been a guest on over 700 television and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and NPR. 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