{"id":111,"date":"2010-11-22T06:46:28","date_gmt":"2010-11-22T06:46:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lettinggo\/2010\/11\/the-power-to-outgrow-problem-people-in-your-life.html"},"modified":"2010-11-22T06:46:28","modified_gmt":"2010-11-22T06:46:28","slug":"the-power-to-outgrow-problem-people-in-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2010\/11\/the-power-to-outgrow-problem-people-in-your-life.html","title":{"rendered":"The Power to Outgrow Problem People in Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Most of us already suspect what needs to be done if we are to have any hope of moving beyond the conflict so common in today&#8217;s relationships. Nevertheless, here is a brief description of the spiritual action to be taken: We must stop giving to our friends and family the pain we cannot bear to carry ourselves. Said differently, each of us must agree to be the one who will &#8220;taste&#8221; what we would serve to our &#8220;enemy du jour&#8221; before we throw it upon his or her plate. <\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<div>From this moment forward, let the conflict stop with you. Make it your intention to forever quit yourself from the turning of this invisible wheel-of-woe. Each time we will consciously refuse to strike back in anger or act out some aggression toward the one who hurts us, we sow the seed of a new order of a conscious life. Now instead of being used by dark forces that grow at the expense of our soul&#8217;s development, it is we who use our endless differences with others to grow endlessly. And at the same time that we learn to rise above the pain of our own negative reactions, we create the possibility and opportunity for others around us to do the same.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Each time we will choose not to respond to someone&#8217;s mental or emotional blow with a blow of our own, that person is left no choice but to see that the only antagonist he has is his own pain. And just as this person&#8217;s awakening to the continual cause of his unconscious aching is the beginning of the end of it, so too is this true for us. Our newly awakened understanding reveals that there is nothing for us to do with our pain but to let it be nothing to us. And with each such spiritual step that we will dare to take outside the circle of suffering, so do we make a way for everyone else&#8230; because at last the circle has been broken.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Most of us already suspect what needs to be done if we are to have any hope of moving beyond the conflict so common in today&#8217;s relationships. Nevertheless, here is a brief description of the spiritual action to be taken: We must stop giving to our friends and family the pain we cannot bear to&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":232,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,75,73,130],"tags":[45,286,178,287,52],"class_list":["post-111","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family-raising-children","category-kindness-compassion","category-love-relationships","category-pain-2","tag-anger","tag-conflict","tag-enemies","tag-family-problems","tag-pain"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Power to Outgrow Problem People in Your Life - Letting Go with Guy Finley<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2010\/11\/the-power-to-outgrow-problem-people-in-your-life.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Power to Outgrow Problem People in Your Life - Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Most of us already suspect what needs to be done if we are to have any hope of moving beyond the conflict so common in today&#8217;s relationships. Nevertheless, here is a brief description of the spiritual action to be taken: We must stop giving to our friends and family the pain we cannot bear to&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2010\/11\/the-power-to-outgrow-problem-people-in-your-life.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Letting Go with Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-11-22T06:46:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Guy Finley\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@guy_finley\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Power to Outgrow Problem People in Your Life - Letting Go with Guy Finley","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/2010\/11\/the-power-to-outgrow-problem-people-in-your-life.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Power to Outgrow Problem People in Your Life - Letting Go with Guy Finley","og_description":"Most of us already suspect what needs to be done if we are to have any hope of moving beyond the conflict so common in today&#8217;s relationships. 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His ideas cut straight to the heart of our most important personal and social issues - relationships, success, addiction, stress, peace, happiness, freedom - and lead the way to a higher life. Finley is the Founder and Director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. He is the acclaimed author of \"The Secret of Letting Go\" and more than 45 other books and audio programs that have sold over two million copies in 26 languages worldwide. His work is widely endorsed by doctors, business professionals, celebrities, and religious leaders of all denominations. Through Life of Learning Foundation, Guy has presented over 5,000 unique self-realization seminars to thousands of grateful students throughout North America and Europe over the past 20 years and has been a guest on over 700 television and radio shows, including national appearances on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, and NPR. The Foundation's popular Key Lesson e-mails featuring inspirational quotes by Guy are read each week by a hundred thousand subscribers in 142 countries. Guy speaks four times each week on inner-life principles at Life of Learning Foundation's home in Merlin, Oregon. These meetings are ongoing and open to the public. For more information about Life of Learning Foundation, Guy Finley, and their life-changing messages, visit guyfinley.org. \"Guy Finley is...one of the leading experts at the forefront of human potential.\" -Nightingale Conant \"Guy Finley has helped millions live fuller, more peaceable lives.\" -Barnes and Noble","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.guyfinley.org","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Guy-Finley-260924340633\/","https:\/\/x.com\/guy_finley"],"url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/author\/gfinley"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/232"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=111"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lettinggo\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=111"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}