Beliefnet
Letting Go with Guy Finley

Love never leaves a relationship. Love is always present; it is we who are absent to love.
When we understand the true nature of love, it has a magical effect on all of our relationships…

 

 

 

Real appreciation for God, for this life given to us through the action of grace, requires realizing our actual place in the greater scheme of things. No one in a hurry to get something done does anything except throw dirt over his or her opportunity to appreciate the moment — of life in the Light — they have been given.

To really appreciate anything requires being conscious of it; without this awareness of one’s relationship with whatever the moment presents — and all that’s being given freely through it — one lives only from the sense of being busy. It is impossible to rush, to want to feel “important,” and to appreciate life at the same time.
Bright sunlight through tree limbs

Have you noticed – for the most part anyway – that when we’re with family or friends almost everyone has a complaint to share; how something or someone in their life just isn’t “right,” or has done them wrong.

I don’t know about your experience, but I’d wager the following: if we put our complaints on one side of the “scale of life” and, on the other side placed our gratitude for its gifts, the scale would be well-tilted toward the negative side!

For most of us, it seems natural to not want much of what life gives us, which is the point of this short piece: If God is Good and he wouldn’t give a “stone” to any child who asks for bread…then how can anything the Divine dispenses into our life be a weight that drags us down? Could it be there’s more to the idea of our “Daily Bread” than meets the eye?

I’ll leave it to you, but for me the “Bread” of life is anything that nourishes and helps us grow our love for God.  Such Bread is not only good in every sense of the Word, but it is literally baked into every moment of our life…including those we want to reject. How can this be true?

Think about it: haven’t the real turning points in life – those that made us wiser, more compassionate people – been those that, if we could have, we would have avoided at all costs? And yet, hasn’t it been these same moments that transformed us in the most profound way?

If we see the truth of this revelation, the secret Good hidden in the “bad”…then perhaps we can learn to be grateful for every thing – and I mean every moment that God gives to us.

man standing in northern lights shower

We have learned that when it comes to waking up together in our relationships, we are all in training, and that our attempts to be patient and kind with those we love will inevitably go through the natural growing pains of “trial and error.” You could almost say that getting “knocked down” is how we learn to give up parts of us that “lead with their chin!”

Not only are we going to find ourselves set back on our heels when we run into some of the unseen limitations in our partner, but this will happen even more so…when we encounter similar blockages in ourselves. But we can learn to see these unwanted moments for what they have always been in reality: “on the job” training. The more evident becomes this truth – that our relationships are the way love works to “exercise” us – the more we are inwardly strengthened by our discoveries, and gradually empowered to love one another more perfectly.

As just one example, if we know that our partner is “in training,” then we are a lot less likely to blame them for falling down on the job of caring for us. So not only are we able to forgive our partner for failing to meet our expectations, but at the same time, we’re also empowered to forgive ourselves whenever we see ourselves come up short, having missed some intended mark.

Such moments – of realizing that neither we, nor our partner are as we’ve imagined ourselves to be – are shocking, at best. But let’s be perfectly clear: love can no more be discouraged by what it serves to reveal in us…than can the sun be shamed into not shining!

This last idea can’t be stated strongly enough: when it comes to our wish – and work – to learn how to love unconditionally, all forms of discouragement are a lie; they are a misbegotten creation of an unconscious level of self whose intent – as expressed by the disheartened way it wants us to feel – is to make us believe that meeting these limitations in ourselves is the same as the end of love’s possibilities. Use the following example to prove to yourself why this, and any such form of discouragement is utter nonsense!

Can you remember the first time you ever tried to run a mile, or to work out with a set of weights heavier than what you may have used before? Let me refresh your memory, as needed.

The moment you pressed your body to go beyond its present level of conditioning, it started “screaming” at you; a “sound” we all know in one way or another: lungs gasping for air, heart pounding out of our chest, weary arms aching with fatigue. But why would we deliberately take our body up to and through such a threshold, especially one that brings this kind of suffering, as it always seems to do?

It’s by design: we understand there’s only one way to make ourselves physically stronger: we must pay the “price” for each new level of endurance and strength that we would make our own. That’s the whole purpose of working to train our body: to rise above whatever its present limitation, in order to realize the next higher level of our potential at that point in time. And then, to do it all over again, should that be our wish.

And so it is …when it comes to the “exercise” of waking up together.

Nothing in the universe can stop us from letting go and loving our partner unconditionally, because the higher love we seek has “gone before us” to prepare the way. But what love has prepared for us doesn’t mean that we don’t have to prepare to receive its power to perfect us, and our relationships.

We have work to do.

And right now is always the right time to get started.

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