{"id":99,"date":"2009-07-04T13:05:00","date_gmt":"2009-07-04T13:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/07\/declare-your-independence-from-dependence.html"},"modified":"2009-07-04T13:05:00","modified_gmt":"2009-07-04T13:05:00","slug":"declare-your-independence-from-dependence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/07\/declare-your-independence-from-dependence.html","title":{"rendered":"Declare Your Independence from Dependence!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/Sk-NrUJ8gPI\/AAAAAAAAA7M\/dJ7yHu8-kbQ\/s1600-h\/fireworks.JPG\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;float: left;cursor: pointer;width: 213px;height: 317px\" src=\"https:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/Sk-NrUJ8gPI\/AAAAAAAAA7M\/dJ7yHu8-kbQ\/s200\/fireworks.JPG\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><br \/>It\u2019s Independence Day in the USA. The country got its independence over 200 years ago. Now it\u2019s time foro YOU to declare your independence. You say you are independent? Think about how many people, needs and bad habits you depend on to keep going. As a DoorMat, I was completely dependent. I needed a man to complete me, a friend to go places with, people to complain to, food to soothe me, a job so I could pay my bills, to do favors so people wouldn\u2019t hate me for not being thin, which I needed so I wouldn\u2019t hate me so much for not being thin.<br \/><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Declaring independence is a scary but freeing action. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>Yes, it\u2019s an action, because if you don\u2019t do something about it, it\u2019s meaningless. You can want all you want but until you take a step to achieve it, nothing changes. I declared my independence when I moved out of the house I shared with my husband and began to create my own life. My independence was supported by developing better self-esteem, by being more loving to me and by developing a very strong connection to my spiritual power. The latter really gave me the strength to let go of what held me back.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Make a list of all that you\u2019re dependent on that you can take care of on your own or do without if you CHOOSE to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Do you want these? An unhealthy friend, a job you hate, a romantic partner who makes you unhappy, old insecurities and all the other things that may keep you stuck in a less happy place than necessary. I repeat, do you want these?<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being a super person and one being the lowest form of a DoorMat, where would you rank yourself? <\/span>BE HONEST!<\/p>\n<p>I consider myself a 10 now and will keep trying to add pluses to that number. If you\u2019re less than 10, decide if you want to get your number up. Look at what needs to be changed. Then declare your independence out loud! Keep declaring it, every day, until it sinks in. Declaring independence is the first step to being independent.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">I wish you all a HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! Make it about YOU!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" border=\"0\" height=\"16\" width=\"125\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s Independence Day in the USA. The country got its independence over 200 years ago. Now it\u2019s time foro YOU to declare your independence. You say you are independent? Think about how many people, needs and bad habits you depend on to keep going. As a DoorMat, I was completely dependent. I needed a man&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-99","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-happiness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Declare Your Independence from Dependence! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/07\/declare-your-independence-from-dependence.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Declare Your Independence from Dependence! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s Independence Day in the USA. The country got its independence over 200 years ago. Now it\u2019s time foro YOU to declare your independence. You say you are independent? Think about how many people, needs and bad habits you depend on to keep going. As a DoorMat, I was completely dependent. I needed a man&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/07\/declare-your-independence-from-dependence.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-07-04T13:05:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/Sk-NrUJ8gPI\/AAAAAAAAA7M\/dJ7yHu8-kbQ\/s200\/fireworks.JPG\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Declare Your Independence from Dependence! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/07\/declare-your-independence-from-dependence.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Declare Your Independence from Dependence! - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"It\u2019s Independence Day in the USA. The country got its independence over 200 years ago. Now it\u2019s time foro YOU to declare your independence. You say you are independent? Think about how many people, needs and bad habits you depend on to keep going. As a DoorMat, I was completely dependent. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=99"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=99"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=99"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=99"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}