{"id":95,"date":"2009-06-22T14:37:00","date_gmt":"2009-06-22T14:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/06\/law-of-attraction-in-action-pride.html"},"modified":"2009-06-22T14:37:00","modified_gmt":"2009-06-22T14:37:00","slug":"law-of-attraction-in-action-pride","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/06\/law-of-attraction-in-action-pride.html","title":{"rendered":"Law of Attraction in Action: Pride"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>This is post 43 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series<\/a> to see how.<\/p>\n

When I was a DoorMat, I was taught it was better to be modest than to tell people your accomplishments and other sources of what should be pride. Being liked was most important to me. I learned early that jealousy made some people like you less if you shared your victories. Feeling proud of accomplishments out loud seemed out of the question if I wanted to fit in.<\/p>\n

People feel better about themselves when they\u2019re with someone who seems to have less self worth than they do.<\/span><\/p>\n

My poor self-image was reinforced by ignoring the good things I did. I was so busy playing myself down to be liked that low self-esteem remained my M. O., no matter how well I did at times. Back then I had no idea that I was telling the Law of Attraction that I wasn\u2019t worth much.<\/p>\n

Author unknown said, \u201cNothing you know is worth anything if you don’t know how to be proud of yourself.<\/span>\u201d<\/p>\n

I was scared to be proud, thinking it would push people away. Now I know that we\u2019re all entitled to take pleasure from what we do well and to share it. Minimizing things you should be proud of is kind of the opposite of gratitude. <\/span>When you express what you\u2019re grateful for, it attracts more things to be grateful for.<\/p>\n

When you minimize what you should be grateful for, you also deny your blessings, which will attract fewer in the future.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNothing you know is worth anything if you don’t know how to be proud of yourself.\u201d When you live for others, you don\u2019t attract much joy for you. When you learn to own the good about you with pride, it can be like a magnet for more things to be proud of. You may not realize how much it affects in your life but the repercussions, positive or negative, can go a long way.<\/p>\n

Growing up, I had an aunt who lived to brag about her kids. They could do no wrong. Her pride in them was over the top. She shared every last little accomplishment they had. Meanwhile my mom was also a people pleaser and didn\u2019t share too much about my sister or I. When I asked why, she explained that she was very proud of us but preferred to leave the bragging to my aunt.<\/p>\n

My aunt went to one extreme and my mom to the other. A middle ground is healthier!<\/span><\/p>\n

Mom never expressing her pride in us to others reinforced my discomfort in expressing my own pride. And it hurt my self-esteem even more since I interpreted her lack of verbal pride as feeling less proud of me than my aunt felt about my cousins. It actually made me angry at times. We\u2019d be sitting around a big family table, my aunt going down the list of all her kids accomplishments while my mom just smiled.<\/p>\n

Parents don\u2019t realize how not acting proud of their kids can lower their self-esteem.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now I feel total pride in how I\u2019ve turned my life around and all that came with that change. It feels fabulous! And, it attracts more things to be proud of! When I first told someone about something I was proud of, I did it apologetically. She asked why I did that and I said I wanted to be modest. She reassured that she was happy to know how well I was doing. That’s the kind of person to share with! People who don’t like it can stay out of my business!<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a fine line between being proud and bragging.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bragging is sharing info about you to impress people, broadcasting your accomplishments to anyone who\u2019ll listen, in a \u201clook how great I am\u201d manner. It\u2019s often shared with people who don\u2019t need to know your business. Name dropping is another form of bragging. Many people are turned off by it. Insecure people often brag to compensate for what they see as their shortcomings or something about themselves they don\u2019t like.<\/p>\n

Bragging is not just sharing; it\u2019s showing off.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pride is feeling satisfaction in what you do and sharing it when appropriate. You can feel pride without telling everyone, or even anyone. Sometimes I just look in the mirror and say, \u201cDamn, I\u2019m proud of you!\u201d Then I might tell one or two people about it when we speak. Sometimes when something big happens, I\u2019ll call or email many of my peeps. But it\u2019s because I feel proud of something and it makes me happy, not to show off.<\/p>\n

Pride is feeling good about something you did and wanting to share the good feelings you have about it.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I first left DoorMatville and felt insecure, I relied on my accomplishments to give me confidence. I looked for ways to tell anyone I was with what I\u2019d done and who I knew. I didn\u2019t trust myself enough to expect people to think well of just me, glitches and all. I put people off with my incessant retelling of something I did or an accolade I received. As my self-esteem grew, I realized I didn\u2019t want to do that anymore. I think I had to do it for a time to catch up for all the years of striving to be modest and never sharing anything. It was a relief to catch up and stop. ?<\/p>\n

Modesty does NOT mean repressing pride in what you do!<\/span> If people like you less for feeling proud of what you do and who you are, too bad for them! They\u2019re probably jealous.<\/p>\n

There are many unsatisfied people out there who hate hearing good things from others. Certain people liked me more, or at least were more comfortable with me when I was insecure. They could be the \u201cbig\u201d ones, reassuring me and giving solace. It made them feel needed and probably better than me, which is an ego boost. But I no longer worry about pleasing those types who prefer me wimpy instead of proud. Even now, some people ask me what I do and react badly to my answer. When I give them even the short version, I can see them looking in disdain. I\u2019ve even heard, \u201cwow, you\u2019re sure full of yourself!\u201d<\/p>\n

No I\u2019m not! I\u2019m proud of my accomplishments and am just telling the truth to the question asked. That\u2019s not bragging.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s funny because I often dumb what I do down, since I have no need to brag. Often I\u2019ll just say I\u2019m a writer if it\u2019s someone who doesn\u2019t need to know more. My accomplishments are more for sharing pride with people I like and I’m more selective about who I give details to. But am I bragging when I say I\u2019m a bestselling author? No! I\u2019m just answering the question and feel proud of how far I\u2019ve come! If people don\u2019t like it they can take their jealous selves away from me!<\/p>\n

Pride is another way of feeling grateful. Gratitude attracts more to be grateful for.<\/span><\/p>\n

So own your accomplishments with pride. Don\u2019t let people make you feel bad for feeling good about who you are or what you\u2019ve done. I feel sorry for anyone who can\u2019t handle hearing about someone else\u2019s blessings. They obviously don\u2019t have enough of their own. and their sneering just attracts even less.<\/p>\n

What are you proud of?<\/span> Go to the mirror and tell yourself how proud you
\nare! Then tell me in the comment section below<\/span>. Let us all know what you\u2019ve done to be proud! It’s welcome here! ?<\/p>\n

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series.<\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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This is post 43 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how. 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