{"id":93,"date":"2009-08-01T21:21:00","date_gmt":"2009-08-01T21:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/08\/limiting-what-can-be-done.html"},"modified":"2009-08-01T21:21:00","modified_gmt":"2009-08-01T21:21:00","slug":"limiting-what-can-be-done","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/08\/limiting-what-can-be-done.html","title":{"rendered":"Limiting What Can Be Done"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>You might have noticed I\u2019ve been MIA for over a week. No posts. I felt guilty the first few days but couldn\u2019t find the time. My next book was due yesterday, and I had to get it done properly. Every day I tried to make time to write a post or do some of the other things I had no time for but time kept running out. While I want to do it all and the ads say women can do it all, often we can\u2019t. And it\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n

The old DoorMat in me tried to do everything at the expense of sleep and herself. Now I know it\u2019s okay to prioritize and do what\u2019s best for my well being. <\/span><\/p>\n

People pleasers often take on too much. Often nothing gets done as well as possible. After a few days of trying, I gave myself permission to take time off from writing my blog and other things I\u2019d normally do. My book came first, along with paying my bills on time. I also factored in time for loved ones and exercise. But that was about it. It was actually empowering to skip things I normally wouldn\u2019t in order to take the pressure off of my time.<\/p>\n

Trying to do too much or stressing out about not doing all you think you should can hurt your health.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now I love myself enough to be kind to me and not push myself too hard. It feels great! I finished my book on time and have put some work into my next one, which will now be my priority. I have more leeway on time for a while. I\u2019m chilling out more this weekend to decompress form the last few weeks, before I get back on the fast track again. The nice thing is I no longer feel guilty about putting things off!<\/p>\n

We\u2019re entitled\u2014yes, entitled\u2014to prioritize what we do in ways that feel best to us.<\/span><\/p>\n

In my DoorMat days, even if I\u2019d put something off, guilt would have offset the benefits. I didn\u2019t feel right not doing everything I was \u201csupposed to.\u201d But what does \u201csupposed to\u201d mean? Going beyond your time? Draining all your energy? Putting too much stress on you? None of that makes sense to me anymore. What does make sense is doing everything I can to insure my good health and keep stress down.<\/p>\n

If something is on your plate that\u2019s stressing you out, find a way to put it away for a while or get it done fast.<\/span><\/p>\n

I had some important calls to make and other things that needed to be done. So one morning I forced myself to sit down and make them all. When they were done, the big sense of relief felt great! I also determined what could wait. While I love writing my blog, it wasn\u2019t essential to write posts. I found a bunch of others things that I also deemed postponable. Once I did that it was such a relief!<\/p>\n

Things won\u2019t fall apart because they\u2019ve been postponed but you might fall apart if you try to do too much.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m writing this in the park around the corner from my apartment in midtown. It\u2019s my oasis, with gorgeous trees and flowers and a big waterfall. That\u2019s me in the pic. I took it with my laptop! I\u2019m writing but not under pressure. It feels so good to relax and write at my leisure. The more I\u2019ve grown to love myself, the more I strive to slow myself down and keep my plate at a reasonable level of full. I love what I do so most of it is sheer pleasure. If I could create some 48-hour days, I\u2019d be a happier camper.<\/p>\n

For now, I\u2019ll try hard to keep time in my 24-hour days reasonably accounted for.<\/span><\/p>\n

I apologize to those of you who missed my posts and I\u2019ll try to do much better this week. I won\u2019t always be able to write consistently, but I\u2019ve moved these posts up in priority now that my book is done. Make sure you prioritize your time too.<\/span> If you bite off more that you can handle, or should chew, spit some out or freeze it for another day! ?<\/p>\n

If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!

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You might have noticed I\u2019ve been MIA for over a week. No posts. I felt guilty the first few days but couldn\u2019t find the time. My next book was due yesterday, and I had to get it done properly. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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