{"id":721,"date":"2011-05-06T12:01:48","date_gmt":"2011-05-06T16:01:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=721"},"modified":"2011-04-08T14:28:53","modified_gmt":"2011-04-08T18:28:53","slug":"what%e2%80%99s-your-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/what%e2%80%99s-your-story.html","title":{"rendered":"What\u2019s Your Story?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>When people ask me how I am, I usually give an enthusiastic \u201cGreat!\u201d Even if something negative is on my mind, I still consider myself \u201cGreat!\u201d While I might not feel well or something is on my mind that I don\u2019t like, overall, my story is that my life is great. I consider your story the overall view you have of your life. What&#8217;s your story?<\/p>\n<p>The bad news is that your story is all yours to do with what you choose. The good news is that your story is all yours to do with what you choose.<\/p>\n<p>Perspective is all YOUR choice. <strong>People may try to influence you but it\u2019s your choice to adopt it as truth<\/strong>. I choose to tell my story with the perception of having a great life. It helps me walk with confidence, smile in the face of adversity and feel content with life in general, no matter what else is going on. Some people see their story as a struggle to get through each day or living with bad luck or not good enough, You see them walk into a room, shoulders slumped, head drooping, looking like they haven\u2019t had energy in years. The impression they make gives an overview of their story\u2014sad and insecure.<\/p>\n<p><strong>People often create their story from their circumstances and their experiences<\/strong>. We all have good and bad ones. It\u2019s YOUR choice to decide which tells yours. Almost every circumstance or situation can have a positive or negative spin. While I\u2019m a recovering DoorMat, my story is about leaving DoorMatville   and creating a successful, happy life. You can wallow in how hard it was   to get to where you are or revel in taking control of your life, which   is an empowering story. <strong>It\u2019s up to you to spin it the way you want your story told. For example:<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Are you someone who has had many failed relationships or the happy person moving forward<\/strong> to meet healthy people? Thinking in terms of negative occurrences from the past, and I consider yesterday the past, gives you a story that makes you unhappy and can keep you stuck in attracting bad relationships.<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Are you the person who used to be very fat or the one who is powerful from taking control<\/strong> of your body. Looking back sadly reinforces a sad story. Looking forward to the continued joy of being healthy makes your story an inspiration.<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Are you the person who plods though a job you don\u2019t like or someone who lives the rest of their time doing what they love? <\/strong>When I hated my job, I still tried to find things that were enjoyable about it.You can make your whole story unhappy or focus on the good stuff for a happy story.<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Are you a victim or an empowered person?<\/strong> If you see yourself not having choices, that victim story will rule you. But it doesn&#8217;t have to if you focus on how far you&#8217;ve come!<\/p>\n<p>The good news is that changing how you see yourself can change your story. It can reflect your past, present or future, depending on how you see it. Focusing on past memories dampens your present story. Recalling all the years of pain you may have endured keeps your story as a negative narrative. That sure doesn\u2019t feel good! When I was a DoorMat I thought I was fat and ugly so my story was about a fat an ugly girl who tried to make up for being that by keeping others happy. My story was also yearning to have a career and life I loved but never being able to get it. As I began to love myself more, my story also began to change.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Seeing yourself through the eyes of self-love instead of self-loathing or insecurity can motivate having a positive story.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>People like being around people who see themselves in a positive light. And <strong>building a more positive story just requires that you change your thoughts about yourself<\/strong>. Telling a positive story through how you carry yourself means owning your great qualities with pride. The more I loved myself, the more I let go of my fat and ugly story and instead saw myself as sexy and beautiful. I didn\u2019t need to lose an ounce to stop feeling fat. Seeing my body through the eyes of love made it curvy and wonderful! And instead of seeing myself as a wanna be writer, I made up business cards that said \u201dWRITER.\u201d That led to my first writing credits and paid work.<\/p>\n<p>Pay attention to what story you tell with your complaints, self-put downs, retelling of incidents from the past that made you unhappy, choosing to be what others said about you, etc. Find a way to put a positive spin on your life. Make your story a happy one\u2014every day! That can help you take more control of what happens to you, attract positive people who like people with a happy story, and boost your confidence. If you feel far from living the life you want, think about the story you\u2019re telling and how you can change it. Watch your thoughts. Take some action. You absolutely have the power to rewrite your story to one that makes you happy. That\u2019s how I got out of DoorMatville!<\/p>\n<p>Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\"><strong>self-love challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a>. And you can post your loving acts <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/post-self-love-actions\">HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When people ask me how I am, I usually give an enthusiastic \u201cGreat!\u201d Even if something negative is on my mind, I still consider myself \u201cGreat!\u201d While I might not feel well or something is on my mind that I don\u2019t like, overall, my story is that my life is great. I consider your story&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,2,15],"tags":[40],"class_list":["post-721","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-whats-your-story"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>What\u2019s Your Story? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/what\u2019s-your-story.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What\u2019s Your Story? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When people ask me how I am, I usually give an enthusiastic \u201cGreat!\u201d Even if something negative is on my mind, I still consider myself \u201cGreat!\u201d While I might not feel well or something is on my mind that I don\u2019t like, overall, my story is that my life is great. I consider your story&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/what\u2019s-your-story.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-05-06T16:01:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-04-08T18:28:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What\u2019s Your Story? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/05\/what\u2019s-your-story.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What\u2019s Your Story? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"When people ask me how I am, I usually give an enthusiastic \u201cGreat!\u201d Even if something negative is on my mind, I still consider myself \u201cGreat!\u201d While I might not feel well or something is on my mind that I don\u2019t like, overall, my story is that my life is great. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/721","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=721"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/721\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":724,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/721\/revisions\/724"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=721"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=721"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=721"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}