{"id":69,"date":"2009-10-02T14:36:00","date_gmt":"2009-10-02T14:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/10\/living-aimlessly.html"},"modified":"2009-10-02T14:36:00","modified_gmt":"2009-10-02T14:36:00","slug":"living-aimlessly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/10\/living-aimlessly.html","title":{"rendered":"Living &#8220;Aimlessly&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SsZItkD1qgI\/AAAAAAAABEQ\/dqqzkC095dM\/s1600-h\/images.jpeg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt;float: left;cursor: pointer;width: 90px;height: 135px\" src=\"https:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SsZItkD1qgI\/AAAAAAAABEQ\/dqqzkC095dM\/s200\/images.jpeg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>I confess, I watch <span style=\"font-style: italic\">The Hills<\/span>. Usually on reruns or on the computer. But I watch it and find it fascinating. I think it takes me away from reality for a while. Even if you don\u2019t watch it, you still might have heard of Lauren Conrad. Her career as a reality TV star has expanded and she\u2019s on many TV shows and often in celebrity news.<br \/><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Usually I don\u2019t learn life lessons on <span style=\"font-style: italic\">The Hills<\/span>. But I did on the last episode last season. <\/span><\/p>\n<p>It was Lauren Conrad\u2019s last show. She went in to talk to her boss, Kelly Cutrone, about trying to figure out what she should do next with her career. Lauren knew what she\u2019d done already but didn\u2019t know where to go next. Kelly suggested \u201cje voudrais fl\u00e2ner,\u201d a French expression for &#8220;to walk around aimlessly with out a plan.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Most of us plan, or even over-plan our existence, since planning gives us control.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Or so we think, anyway. When you plan, you know what\u2019s probably going to happen. You take a certain job at what you think is the right time, get married for the same reasons, or whatever else you map out as your life. &#8220;To walk around aimlessly with out a plan&#8221; can seem scary. Uncertain. Irresponsible. Downright crazy to some.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Yet walking around aimlessly with out a plan can help you see what there is in life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>It helps you stop to smell the rose, to use a clich\u00e9 expression. And you get to see what possibilities there are, which you\u2019re free to explore since you have no plan they\u2019d have to fit in to. I\u2019m sure that Lauren is financially set enough to take time off from working if she wanted to. More of us aren\u2019t. But you can still walk around aimlessly in every aspect of your life but what pays the rent.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Think about how you\u2019d feel with a blank day planner, at least for a week. Less pressure? A sense of loss? Or giddy at the idea of time, like I feel.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Fear of being lonely can make that an awful thought, but it\u2019s really fun to kind of wing your time. A whole weekend with no plans can lead to finding fun things to do at the last minute that you\u2019ve never thought to do before. It can show you that your own company can be fun. You might meet someone new in your aimless travels. And you might discover something you\u2019re passionate about that can lead to a career change.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Being locked into a one-way life may give you control, but it\u2019s control of things that can limit you. Faith is the antidote!<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Faith allows you to try living at least some of the time without a plan. When you trust that you\u2019ll be guided to what\u2019s best for your highest good, you can fly by the seat of your pants, at least a little. If you never do, you can miss out on opportunities that can be life-changing or make you happier than what you planned to have. I thought about \u201cje voudrais fl\u00e2ner\u201d and realized it\u2019s how I\u2019ve lived for years.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Allowing yourself to be guided, instead of always trying to guide your destiny, makes for the happiest life! <\/span>And, the least disappointment, since you can\u2019t have problems following your plan if you have none. ?<\/p>\n<p>I drive some people crazy when I go on a trip. I might know the city or country I\u2019m heading to but when they ask what I\u2019ll do I say I\u2019ll find it when I get there. Of course I get some info and may have things I want to see. But no plans. I hate taking tours or doing what I\u2019m supposed to do in a city. I like to travel solo so I can figure out what to do as it comes to me from being there.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">Living \u201cje voudrais fl\u00e2ner\u201d teaches you the benefits of being spontaneous. It can lead you to things you didn\u2019t know existed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I do this with my career too. I\u2019ve no day job since I left DoorMatville. Before that my life was methodically planned. Now I have no steady income or plan for what I\u2019m going to write. As I finished up my last book, I looked up and asked for something good to come. It did! I\u2019m now writing a book that I could have never planned to write, but that is an amazing opportunity that I love doing. Had I planned more, my time wouldn\u2019t have been wide-open to do it.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold\">I have NO DOUBT that God leads my path to live \u201cje voudrais fl\u00e2ner.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Try to leave some time\u2014on a weekend, after work, etc.\u2014unplanned. Be spontaneous. Live in the moment and let yourself be guided. Ask to be. I always look up and ask for what I want, or for my next step, or a direction to walk in. I\u2019m always led somewhere good. Ya never know where it can lead!!<\/p>\n<p>If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button BEGIN --><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/s9.addthis.com\/button1-bm.gif\" alt=\"AddThis Social Bookmark Button\" border=\"0\" height=\"16\" width=\"125\" \/><\/a> var addthis_pub = &#8216;wryter&#8217;;<br \/><!-- AddThis Bookmark Button END --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I confess, I watch The Hills. Usually on reruns or on the computer. But I watch it and find it fascinating. I think it takes me away from reality for a while. Even if you don\u2019t watch it, you still might have heard of Lauren Conrad. Her career as a reality TV star has expanded&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-69","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Living &quot;Aimlessly&quot; - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/10\/living-aimlessly.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Living &quot;Aimlessly&quot; - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I confess, I watch The Hills. Usually on reruns or on the computer. But I watch it and find it fascinating. I think it takes me away from reality for a while. Even if you don\u2019t watch it, you still might have heard of Lauren Conrad. Her career as a reality TV star has expanded&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/10\/living-aimlessly.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2009-10-02T14:36:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/_W3h59OgJIAA\/SsZItkD1qgI\/AAAAAAAABEQ\/dqqzkC095dM\/s200\/images.jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Living \"Aimlessly\" - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/10\/living-aimlessly.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Living \"Aimlessly\" - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"I confess, I watch The Hills. Usually on reruns or on the computer. But I watch it and find it fascinating. I think it takes me away from reality for a while. Even if you don\u2019t watch it, you still might have heard of Lauren Conrad. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=69"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=69"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=69"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=69"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}