{"id":647,"date":"2011-04-28T12:01:39","date_gmt":"2011-04-28T16:01:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=647"},"modified":"2011-04-21T11:04:39","modified_gmt":"2011-04-21T15:04:39","slug":"empowered-communication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/04\/empowered-communication.html","title":{"rendered":"Empowered Communication"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: left\"><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/03\/StaceyHanke2.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-649\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2011\/03\/StaceyHanke2-198x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"198\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a>I\u2019m very happy to have <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.1stimpressionconsulting.com\">Stacey Hanke<\/a><\/strong>, founder of 1st Impression Consulting, Inc., as my guest today. The author of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/exec\/obidos\/ASIN\/1438904436\/daylledeannaschw\"><strong>Yes You Can!: Everything You Need From A to Z to Influence Others to Take Action,<\/strong><\/a> Stacey has trained over 15,000 people and has delivered over 500 presentations for business leaders in the financial industry to the healthcare industry to government and everyone in between. Her client list is vast, from Coca-Cola, Kohl\u2019s, United States Army, Navy and Air Force, Leo Burnett, AT&amp;T and the FDA. She has inspired thousands as a featured guest on media outlets including; SmartMoney magazine, Business Week, Lifetime Network, Chicago WGN and WLS-AM.<\/p>\n<p>Stacey helps individuals eliminate the static that plagues communicative delivery &#8211; to persuade, sell, influence and communicate face-to-face with a clear message. I consider good face-to-face communication one of the most important skills you can develop to empower yourself. Since this week is all about asking, I felt learning to have good face-to-face communication will help you do that. Here are some great tips for developing this skill:<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Lost Art of Face-to-Face Communication: Eight Steps to Impact and Influence<br \/>\nby <a href=\"http:\/\/www.1stimpressionconsulting.com\/\">Stacey Hanke<\/a><\/strong><br \/>\nCommunicating meaningfully is becoming more difficult than ever before.\u00a0 While technology has created an ever-increasing number of ways to communicate, many people are now insulated and protected.\u00a0 Consequently we\u2019re losing the skills and abilities to communicating in the most influential way \u2013 face to face.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s a real danger to the maintenance of meaningful communications and personal and professional relationships. If you become overly dependent on email or text messages, you focus on the object, not the person.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t keep the attention of your listener for them to understand your message, you won\u2019t influence them to take action.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Failure to communicate effectively face to face has a phenomenal impact on business and success.<\/strong><br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Miscommunication and understanding.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wasted time.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Loss in profits.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Minimize ability to effectively project trust, confidence and credibility to build relationships.<\/p>\n<p>There are <strong>certain topics of conversation where face-to-face communication will absolutely be the best way to influence action<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Negotiating salaries, vacations, termination.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Resolving a dispute or conflict.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Seeking clarification after written communications has failed.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Communicating with impact and influence face-to-face<\/strong> requires discipline, determination, and self-awareness.\u00a0 Begin with the following <strong>eight must have steps<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Make your moment\u2019s together count<\/strong>.\u00a0 Everyone has the right to speak.\u00a0 Earn the right to be heard.\u00a0 Think about what you want to say before you say it. Every word counts.\u00a0 Tailor what you say to meet your listener\u2019s needs.<\/p>\n<p>2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Pay attention by listening for the unspoken emotions<\/strong>. Do not let your eyes dart away since that signals you\u2019re no longer paying attention.\u00a0 Wait to speak only when the person has finished what they want to say.\u00a0 Listen and read their expressions to gain maximum understanding of the why behind their words.<\/p>\n<p>3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Honor the other person\u2019s time<\/strong>.\u00a0 Prepare and get to the point quickly by speaking in short and concise sentences.\u00a0 Replace your non-words (\u201cuh,\u201d \u201cum,\u201d \u201cso,\u201d \u201cyou know \u2026 \u201c) with a pause to find your thought.\u00a0 Avoid rambling and cluttering your message with unnecessary points.\u00a0 Ask for a clear and specific action. Don\u2019t take 20 minutes when you only asked for ten.<\/p>\n<p>4.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Prepare for your face-to-face meeting ahead of tim<\/strong>e.\u00a0 K.N.O.W. your listener.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 K &#8211; What does your listener know about your topic?<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 N \u2013 What does your listener need to know to take the action you want them to take in the time frame you have for this conversation?<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 O \u2013 What is your listener\u2019s opinion about your topic?<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 W \u2013 Who is your listener?\u00a0 What additional information do you know about your listener to help you customize your message for them?<\/p>\n<p>5.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Avoid non-verbal abuse<\/strong>. Your behavior and non-verbal cues are as important as the words you say.\u00a0\u00a0Don\u2019t fidget, act nervous or allow your posture to convey uncertainty or insincerity.<\/p>\n<p>6.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Be Sincere and Authentic<\/strong>. Speak in your authentic voice. Be genuine and allow others to see the real you.<\/p>\n<p>7.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <strong>Maintain control of the conversation. Be interesting<\/strong>. If you see the signs that you\u2019re no longer the center of attention:<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Your listener begins working on their Blackberry, iPad, IPhone, etc.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Your listener begins to have side conversations.<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Your listener interrupts you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Stop. Break the flow. Earn their attention. Get back on track<\/strong>. Ask for specific feedback about your key points, the manner in which you presented and the way you responded. Ask for balanced feedback about how to improve and immediately begin applying this feedback.<\/p>\n<p>Technology-driven communication will improve if you first focus on improving the most important method first &#8212; face-to-face communication.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">*******************<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\"><strong>self-love challenge<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a>. And you can post your loving acts <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/post-self-love-actions\">HERE<\/a><\/strong> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <strong><a href=\"..\/2011\/02\/31-days-of-self-love-posts.html\">HERE<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left\">Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m very happy to have Stacey Hanke, founder of 1st Impression Consulting, Inc., as my guest today. The author of Yes You Can!: Everything You Need From A to Z to Influence Others to Take Action, Stacey has trained over 15,000 people and has delivered over 500 presentations for business leaders in the financial industry&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[23,22],"class_list":["post-647","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-communication","tag-stacey-hanke"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Empowered Communication - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/04\/empowered-communication.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Empowered Communication - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019m very happy to have Stacey Hanke, founder of 1st Impression Consulting, Inc., as my guest today. The author of Yes You Can!: Everything You Need From A to Z to Influence Others to Take Action, Stacey has trained over 15,000 people and has delivered over 500 presentations for business leaders in the financial industry&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/04\/empowered-communication.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-04-28T16:01:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2011-04-21T15:04:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2011\/03\/StaceyHanke2-198x300.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Empowered Communication - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/04\/empowered-communication.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Empowered Communication - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"I\u2019m very happy to have Stacey Hanke, founder of 1st Impression Consulting, Inc., as my guest today. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/647","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=647"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/647\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1570,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/647\/revisions\/1570"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=647"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=647"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=647"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}