{"id":5626,"date":"2014-07-18T12:01:04","date_gmt":"2014-07-18T16:01:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=5626"},"modified":"2014-07-17T00:17:41","modified_gmt":"2014-07-17T04:17:41","slug":"standing-up-for-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2014\/07\/standing-up-for-yourself.html","title":{"rendered":"Standing Up for Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"woman<\/a>You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to \u2013prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, \u201cAm I WILLING to be serious?\u201d You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to leave or mean \u201cno\u201d or cut visits if ignored? Decide how far you\u2019re WILLING to go. If you can\u2019t cut the person off, have less contact. Explain what bothers you and why you\u2019ll limit visits. Don\u2019t demand change. It comes when they\u2019re aware of how their behavior affects you and WANT to.<\/p>\n

Practice new techniques for handling situations. No one has a right to be disrespectful or consistently burst your happiness bubble. NO ONE! Your mother has NO right to cut you down. Believe it in your heart! Your best friend\u2019s issues aren\u2019t yours. It isn\u2019t mandatory to take crap from your boss. A romantic partner has no special right to abuse you, even if he says it\u2019s your fault\u2014which it never is! Before you begin to take control of situations:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Do affirmations to bolster confidence<\/strong>. \u201cI have the right to express what bothers me.\u201d \u201cI trust myself to communicate effectively.\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Remember that nicely discussing problems makes relationships\u2014professional or personal\u2014stronger<\/strong>.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 Keep youcommunication friendly<\/strong>–no insluts
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Use deep breathing<\/strong> to keep emotions in check.<\/p>\n

If it doesn’t wok, choose to either walk away or change YOUR response.
\n************<\/p>\n

Join The Self-Love Movement\u2122!<\/strong><\/a> Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a>—\u201cI commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days<\/strong>.<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>. Watch the video<\/strong><\/a> made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to \u2013prepare to take a stand first. Before taking a stand, ask, \u201cAm I WILLING to be serious?\u201d You may want to stop unacceptable behavior, but are you willing to leave or mean \u201cno\u201d or cut visits if…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,14,2],"tags":[88,153,971],"class_list":["post-5626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-self-empowerment","tag-speaking-up","tag-taking-a-stand"],"yoast_head":"\nStanding Up for Yourself - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Standing Up for Yourself - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"You may be angry at many people and want to tell them all of. But you need to \u2013prepare to take a stand first. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5626"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5626\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5628,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5626\/revisions\/5628"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}