{"id":5593,"date":"2014-06-23T12:01:05","date_gmt":"2014-06-23T16:01:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=5593"},"modified":"2014-06-22T23:21:25","modified_gmt":"2014-06-23T03:21:25","slug":"coping-with-criticism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2014\/06\/coping-with-criticism.html","title":{"rendered":"Coping with Criticism"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"me<\/a>Criicism seems to be a natural part of life. There are many people who think they\u2019re helping you by poining out that you\u2019ve gained a few pounds, or you\u2019re not doing a good job ast something, or your clohing doesn\u2019t suit you, or you need a haircut or a gazilliion other criticisms. Getting criticized can make you angry, hurt, insecure, resentful and a lot more emotions that don\u2019t feel good. Next time someone points out that something is wrong with you, ask yourself:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0How do I feel about what\u2019s being said?<\/strong> Don\u2019t ignore your feelings or they\u2019ll build up inside and stay with you for a long time. It\u2019s easier to deal with your feelings fast.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Do I agree?<\/strong> If you think you look fine, or are doing a good job, smile and say something like, \u201cI\u2019m happy with how I look\/my work, and I\u2019m not looking for a reason to feel bad so I don\u2019t need your input.\u201d Say it nicely with as smile. That should shut them up!<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0What can I learn from the criticism?<\/strong> Often the words target something that bothers you and can motivate you to change it.When a boyfriend criticized my cluttered closets, I balked but afterwards I recognized I didn\u2019t like the clutter . so I cleaned them out and felt good about it . Although criticism can be painful, but it can help you if you look for the lesson in it.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Is this person really trying to help me?<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s a big difference between constructive criticism from someone who sincerely cares about you and being trashed by someone who is out to hurt you or feel better about themselves at your expense. If it\u2019s the latter type of person, speak up or let it go. Figure out the best choice for yourself and ignore the critic.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0How can I set boundaries with regular critics?<\/strong> Come up with some things to say to he people who often try to knock you down with by pointing out your imperfections. You\u2019re entitled to protect your self-esteem by creating boundaries. Express how you feel when you\u2019re hit with criticism. Nicely, and firmly tell the critic what you’ll do if it happens again, such as leave the room, hang up the phone, or, if it\u2019s serious enough, end your relationship altogether. It\u2019s important to show you mean it by doing it.<\/p>\n

Criticism only hurts you if you allow it to. People have their own issues that make them find fault in others. They may do it because they\u2019re insecure and putting you down makes them feel better. Sometimes people who are jealous and will find something to pick on. Don\u2019t take it personally. Their own issues are behind their words.<\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

Join The Self-Love Movement\u2122!<\/strong><\/a> Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a>—\u201cI commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days<\/strong>.<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>. Watch the video<\/strong><\/a> made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Criicism seems to be a natural part of life. There are many people who think they\u2019re helping you by poining out that you\u2019ve gained a few pounds, or you\u2019re not doing a good job ast something, or your clohing doesn\u2019t suit you, or you need a haircut or a gazilliion other criticisms. Getting criticized can…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2],"tags":[99,964,153],"class_list":["post-5593","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-criticism","tag-people-who-find-fault-with-you","tag-speaking-up"],"yoast_head":"\nCoping with Criticism - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Coping with Criticism - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Criicism seems to be a natural part of life. There are many people who think they\u2019re helping you by poining out that you\u2019ve gained a few pounds, or you\u2019re not doing a good job ast something, or your clohing doesn\u2019t suit you, or you need a haircut or a gazilliion other criticisms. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5593","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5593"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5593\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5595,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5593\/revisions\/5595"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5593"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5593"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5593"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}