{"id":5585,"date":"2014-06-16T13:39:22","date_gmt":"2014-06-16T17:39:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=5585"},"modified":"2014-06-16T13:39:22","modified_gmt":"2014-06-16T17:39:22","slug":"teaching-people-how-to-treat-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2014\/06\/teaching-people-how-to-treat-you.html","title":{"rendered":"Teaching People How to Treat You"},"content":{"rendered":"
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via Morguefile<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I\u2019m often asked why someone treats another friend with courtesy yet the same person treats him or her disrespectfully. Why? The other person\u2019s behavior says they expect courtesy but their behavior allows disrespect.<\/p>\n

When you don\u2019t stop someone from hurting you with insults or disrespectful behavior, they will keep doing it and think it\u2019s OK. When you always agree to do what people want, you teach them to keep asking and expecting to get e=what they want.<\/p>\n

If someone you care about doesn\u2019t treat you properly, it\u2019s up to you to teach him or her. You can use:<\/p>\n

* Words<\/strong>: Choose a peaceful time and nicely let the person know what you expetc and refuse to tolerrate.<\/p>\n

*Actions<\/strong>: Walk away or hang up the phone if the person speaks to you disrespectfully.<\/p>\n

* Opinions<\/strong>: If someone tells you where you\u2019re going to eat, express your preference up front.<\/p>\n

* Change your normal response<\/strong>: If you usually laugh poor behavior off, stop doing so. Say, \u201cNot funny.\u201d Or \u201cI\u2019ve had enough.\u201d Or give the person a look that shows displeasure. Take a stand \u2013 Let the person know firmly that his or her behavior is unacceptable and you will not accept it any more.<\/p>\n

Unless you enjoy being treated poorly, it\u2019s up to you to stop behavior you don\u2019t like by teaching people the right way. If your romantic partner nags a lot, or acts controlling. Sit him or her down, and spell out that you won\u2019t tolerate it any more. He\/she may throw the blame on you, that if you didn\u2019t_____, he\/she wouldn\u2019t_____. Find a compromise\u2014you both stop the behavior that the other doesn\u2019t like. But always remember, it\u2019s up to you to teach someone how to treat you.lg People How to Treat You I\u2019m often asked why someone treats another friend with courtesy yet the same person treats him or her disrespectfully. Why? The other person\u2019s behavior says they expect courtesy but their behavior allows disrespect. When you don\u2019t stop someone from hurting you with insults they will keep doing it and think it\u2019s OK. When you always agree to do what people want you teach them to keep asking and expecting to get e=what they want. If someone you care about doesn\u2019t treat you properly, it\u2019s up to you to teach him or her. You can use:
\n* Words<\/strong>: choose a peaceful time and nicely let the person know what you expect.<\/p>\n

* Actions<\/strong>: Walk away or hang up the phone if the person speaks to you disrespectfully.<\/p>\n

* Opinions<\/strong>: If someone tells you where you\u2019re going to eat, express your preference up front.<\/p>\n

* Change your normal response:<\/strong> If you usually laugh poor behavior off, stop doing so. Say, \u201cNot funny.\u201d Or \u201cI\u2019ve had enough.\u201d Or give the person a look that shows displeasure. Take a stand \u2013 Let the person know firmly that his or her behavior is unacceptable and you will not accept it any more.<\/p>\n

Unless you enjoy being treated poorly, it\u2019s up to you to stop behavior you don\u2019t like by teaching people the right way.<\/p>\n

If your romantic partner nags a lot, or acts controlling. Sit him or her down, and spell out that you won\u2019t tolerate it any more. He\/she may throw the blame on you, that if you didn\u2019t_____, he\/she wouldn\u2019t_____. Find a compromise\u2014you both stop the behavior that the other doesn\u2019t like. But always remember, it\u2019s up to you to teach someone how to treat you.l<\/p>\n

Do the same kinds of things with family and friends. NO ONE has the right to treat you poorly! But it’s up to you to teach people what you consider appropriate behavior.<\/p>\n

************<\/p>\n

Join The Self-Love Movement\u2122!<\/strong><\/a> Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a>—\u201cI commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days<\/strong>.<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>. Watch the video<\/strong><\/a> made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m often asked why someone treats another friend with courtesy yet the same person treats him or her disrespectfully. Why? The other person\u2019s behavior says they expect courtesy but their behavior allows disrespect. When you don\u2019t stop someone from hurting you with insults or disrespectful behavior, they will keep doing it and think it\u2019s OK.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2],"tags":[444,726],"class_list":["post-5585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-setting-boundaries","tag-speaking-up-for-yourself"],"yoast_head":"\nTeaching People How to Treat You - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2014\/06\/teaching-people-how-to-treat-you.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Teaching People How to Treat You - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019m often asked why someone treats another friend with courtesy yet the same person treats him or her disrespectfully. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5585","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5585"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5585\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5586,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5585\/revisions\/5586"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5585"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5585"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5585"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}