{"id":5546,"date":"2014-06-05T12:01:50","date_gmt":"2014-06-05T16:01:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=5546"},"modified":"2014-06-04T23:04:48","modified_gmt":"2014-06-05T03:04:48","slug":"what-you-think-vs-what-others-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2014\/06\/what-you-think-vs-what-others-think.html","title":{"rendered":"What You Think vs. What Others Think"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"heads\"<\/a>\u00a0 People pleasers often let others think for them. You may not realize you\u2019re doing it. You might tell a friend that you want to see a certain movie and get told you won\u2019t like it. When you hear that all your enthusiasm for seeing the movie vanishes .Or you may get dressed and put effort into it and someone tells you that you look like you\u2019ve gained weight or your shirt isn\u2019t a good color for you and all the confidence you felt goes down the tubes.<\/p>\n

Often we worry more about what other people will think more than we give value to what we think of ourselves.in my DoorMat days I\u2019d get ready for a date and like what I saw in the mirror but not feel good about my appearance until the guy told me I looked good. When you\u2019re insecure you can make what others think much more important than what you think. But that\u2019s not fair to you!<\/p>\n

Self-empowerment includes giving yourself credit for having good sense and trusting you can come to your own conclusions. Often, people don\u2019t notice what you worry about. Isabella came to me for counseling to help her make decisions She was so worried about what other people would think that she was stressed all the time. She had a very critical roommate and tried to fix what Lea told her was wrong with her.<\/p>\n

I advised Isabella to think for herself for one day. She was very excited at our next session. On the day she chose to think for herself Lea told her to go back and change into pants as she didn\u2019t look good in her skirt. Isabella took a deep breath and left for work in the skirt. She waited for people to criticize her but no one did. And as she was leaving, a co-worker she barely knew told her she liked her skirt!<\/p>\n

Ethel Barrett said,\u00a0 “We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.”<\/p>\n

Most people aren\u2019t out to judge you. Isabella was amazed that no one said something negative about her skirt. She told Lea to please stop her criticism as she would no longer listen to it. From then on Isabella began to trust what she thought.<\/p>\n

What you think is most important for you! Once you accept that it\u2019s easier to put what you think out to others. As Isabella gave her thoughts more value, she began to share them , which she was always scared to do before, since she thought people would judge her poorly. She gave her boss more input, which she\u2019d never have done when she worried about what people would think. It led to her getting a promotion because her boss liked her opinions.<\/p>\n

Speaking up can be hard but when you accept what you think it helps you do so. That gives you a great sense of self-empowerment!
\n************<\/p>\n

Join The Self-Love Movement\u2122!<\/strong><\/a> Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a>—\u201cI commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days<\/strong>.<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>. Watch the video<\/strong><\/a> made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0 People pleasers often let others think for them. You may not realize you\u2019re doing it. You might tell a friend that you want to see a certain movie and get told you won\u2019t like it. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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