{"id":5421,"date":"2014-04-04T12:01:26","date_gmt":"2014-04-04T16:01:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=5421"},"modified":"2014-03-29T22:52:20","modified_gmt":"2014-03-30T02:52:20","slug":"give-yourself-permission-to-express-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2014\/04\/give-yourself-permission-to-express-yourself.html","title":{"rendered":"Give Yourself Permission to Express Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"via<\/a>
via Morguefile<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I encounter many people who share that they\u2019re scared to express how they feel to friends, family, work colleagues, etc. Some don\u2019t know why they\u2019re scared. Not knowing what the results might be can cause the greatest fear. Fear of the unknown can be your biggest power buster since the imagined outcome is often much worse than what will probably happen. When I push people to figure out why they hesitate to say what they want or give their opinion or tell someone what bothers them:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Some have always gone along with what others tell them and don\u2019t want to alienate anyone.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Some think it\u2019s more important to please people.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Some were taught that people like you more when you\u2019re agreeable.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Some are afraid of hurting someone\u2019s feelings.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Some insist it\u2019s not important to have a say in what they do.<\/p>\n

Most of those excuses are still tied to not knowing what will happen if they speak up. But an important part of leaving DoorMatville is recognizing that what you think matters.\u00a0 It\u2019s hard to value yourself if you can\u2019t accept that. Ask yourself:<\/p>\n

Who is the most important person for me to please?<\/p>\n

You answer should be \u201cMe!\u201d If you want to remain in DoorMatville, name another person. But if you want to be happy, and own your life, get on the train out of DoorMatville with one word\u2014ME. You owe it to yourself to be your own top priority since you won\u2019t be anyone else\u2019s. And that includes speaking up for you. Tell yourself:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0It\u2019s okay to have my own opinion, even if people disagree with me.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0While I don\u2019t have to always get my way, I\u2019m entitled to let people know what I want.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0If someone says or does something that bothers me, I\u2019m allowed to say something so I don\u2019t carry around anger or resentment. If I say it nicely, they shouldn\u2019t mind.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0I don\u2019t need to please anyone in my life who gets angry because I say what I think.<\/p>\n

Give yourself permission to express yourself! I had to do that when I decided I was tired of living in DoorMatville and suppressing my feelings and desires. Other people speak up, so why not you? Once you begin, you\u2019ll get used to it. Love yourself enough to take the reins of communicating what you really feel. Then you begin to own your power over your life.
\n*************<\/p>\n

Join The Self-Love Movement\u2122!<\/strong><\/a> Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a>—\u201cI commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days<\/strong>.<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>. Watch the video<\/strong><\/a> made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I encounter many people who share that they\u2019re scared to express how they feel to friends, family, work colleagues, etc. Some don\u2019t know why they\u2019re scared. Not knowing what the results might be can cause the greatest fear. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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