{"id":5355,"date":"2014-03-14T12:01:45","date_gmt":"2014-03-14T16:01:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=5355"},"modified":"2014-03-02T22:02:12","modified_gmt":"2014-03-03T03:02:12","slug":"do-you-need-everyone-to-like-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2014\/03\/do-you-need-everyone-to-like-you.html","title":{"rendered":"Do You Need Everyone to Like You?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"smiles--yellow<\/a>I grew up believing it was important for everyone to like me. So did my friends. Did you? It\u2019s a common belief, especially for girls. And wanting this is what turns us into DoorMats\/people pleasers.<\/p>\n

When I was on Oprah, most of her audience admitted to wanting everyone to like them. Person after stood up to admit to the lengths they went to, to be liked. They bought people expensive gifts they couldn\u2019t afford, treated friends to dinner, jumped when asked for a favor\u2014all in the name of needing everyone to like them. When I was a DoorMat I did that dance\u2014trying to satisfy everyone\u2019s needs at the sake of my own. It was exhausting and frustrating, since few reciprocated.<\/p>\n

As I began to value myself, I recognized that I didn\u2019t like everyone. And I didn\u2019t want people to like me because of what I did for them, certainly not because I was their DoorMat. I was tired of having footprints on my face that represented disappointment about being let down, feeling unsupported, not getting any of my needs met, etc.<\/p>\n

Does everyone really like YOU? When you\u2019re a DoorMat, they like what you do for them, not you. Oprah\u2019a audience acknowledged that being liked that way wasn\u2019t satisfying. I was relieved when I recognized that. The idea of everyone having to like you is s myth. It\u2019s impossible to get everyone to like you! Even good, kind people annoy someone. Accepting that helps you get a foot out of DoorMatville. Letting go of your need for everyone to like you fuels your journey to a more empowered place.<\/p>\n

My final step was learning to love me. When you build self-love, the most important thing will be that you like you. Then you can focus on pleasing yourself, which feels so much better than trying to make folks like you for the favors and other stuff you do for them. Repeat this as a mantra:<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t need everyone to like me. What\u2019s important is that I like me!\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

*************<\/p>\n

Join The Self-Love Movement\u2122!<\/strong><\/a> Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a>—\u201cI commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days<\/strong>.<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>. Watch the video<\/strong><\/a> made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I grew up believing it was important for everyone to like me. So did my friends. Did you? It\u2019s a common belief, especially for girls. And wanting this is what turns us into DoorMats\/people pleasers. When I was on Oprah, most of her audience admitted to wanting everyone to like them. Person after stood up…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,14,2,15],"tags":[901,900,902,43],"class_list":["post-5355","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-liking-yourself","tag-needing-everyone-to-like-you","tag-oprah","tag-people-pleasing"],"yoast_head":"\nDo You Need Everyone to Like You? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, nofollow\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Do You Need Everyone to Like You? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I grew up believing it was important for everyone to like me. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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