{"id":5347,"date":"2014-03-24T12:01:23","date_gmt":"2014-03-24T16:01:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=5347"},"modified":"2014-03-02T20:39:37","modified_gmt":"2014-03-03T01:39:37","slug":"getting-heard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2014\/03\/getting-heard.html","title":{"rendered":"Getting Heard"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"mouthtalking\"<\/a>We’re often so proud of ourselves for making the effort to communicate that we don’t pay attention to our approach. Becoming aware of how you present your thoughts and ideas can get them across more clearly. Simply paying more attention to yourself can help. Ask yourself,\u00a0 \u201cIs this how I’d like someone to talk to me?\u201d<\/p>\n

I tell women in my classes if you want to quickly shut down many a man’s hearing system, say those four little words! \u00a0\u201cWe need to talk.\u201d<\/strong> When a man hears this, he knows something unpleasant is coming, so why listen? \u00a0Defenses come up.<\/p>\n

Guilt distorts people’s hearing. If someone’s guard is up while you’re saying how you feel, he’s thinking ahead to his defense. So\u00a0 how can you get heard\u00a0 objectively? Starting with a positive statement can lower resistance and make ears more receptive. \u00a0 I’ve interviewed both sexes and see a pattern. \u00a0Men often state a problem in a matter of fact tone. Women tend to have more emotion, often reflecting annoyance, impatience, etc.. \u00a0Men get listened to more. Any wonder why?<\/p>\n

Changing your methods of communications takes work. Self-awareness takes time. But it’s worth the effort when you get the responses you want…finally!
\n*************<\/p>\n

Join The Self-Love Movement\u2122!<\/strong><\/a> Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a>—\u201cI commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days<\/strong>.<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>. Watch the video<\/strong><\/a> made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We’re often so proud of ourselves for making the effort to communicate that we don’t pay attention to our approach. Becoming aware of how you present your thoughts and ideas can get them across more clearly. Simply paying more attention to yourself can help. Ask yourself,\u00a0 \u201cIs this how I’d like someone to talk to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2],"tags":[895,894],"class_list":["post-5347","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-getting-heard","tag-good-communication"],"yoast_head":"\nGetting Heard - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2014\/03\/getting-heard.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Getting Heard - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"We’re often so proud of ourselves for making the effort to communicate that we don’t pay attention to our approach. Becoming aware of how you present your thoughts and ideas can get them across more clearly. Simply paying more attention to yourself can help. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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