{"id":5296,"date":"2014-02-21T12:01:55","date_gmt":"2014-02-21T17:01:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=5296"},"modified":"2014-02-13T18:50:47","modified_gmt":"2014-02-13T23:50:47","slug":"keeping-an-eye-on-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2014\/02\/keeping-an-eye-on-yourself.html","title":{"rendered":"Keeping an Eye on Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"eye<\/a> \"eye\"<\/a>Self-awareness I crucial for making changes that can empower you. If you\u2019re not aware of habits that hold you back, they\u2019ll continue to hold you back. When you want to make changes, you need to assess what to change. That takes self-awareness.<\/p>\n

I call one of my techniques for self-awareness SOBO (Simulated Outer Body Observation). \u00a0This is where I ask you to sort of step outside yourself and observe as you interact with others. Very often you aren’t aware of how you come across. \u00a0If you want to change the way people treat you, you may have to change your behavior to cue them to a new attitude. \u00a0And how do you know what to work on if you ‘re not very aware of your responses to others?<\/p>\n

SOBO involves your own consciousness raising. \u00a0It means paying attention to yourself in situations where you don’t feel you get the response you want. \u00a0Listen to yourself, and be honest about how you would respond to what you’re saying and how you’re saying it if you were the other person. \u00a0Are you complaining with a whine in your voice? \u00a0Do you have an attitude of superiority? \u00a0Are you apologetic? \u00a0Is your demeanor or tone of voice saying more than your words? See if you can spot cues in the other person which let you know at what point their attitude towards you goes in the wrong direction.
\nAlso become aware of your body language. \u00a0Are you looking impatient, frustrated, or angry? \u00a0Are you positive or negative? \u00a0Are you coming across as confident or insecure? \u00a0These are things people pick up on and their response to you is often affected by them.<\/p>\n

How often do you get emotional when you know you’re better off staying in control? What situations change your balance from being on top of things to letting your emotions affect your control? \u00a0Being able to pinpoint situations, etc. that set you off can help you avoid getting carried away. \u00a0When you see signs coming on, you can find alternate ways of dealing, before it’s too late.<\/p>\n

When I used SOBO, I realized that I talked about things I didn\u2019t like with a whine in my voice. When I first became conscious it I got nauseous. \u00a0How had I never noticed it before? I hated hearing it and knew I\u2019d be put off if someone spoke to me like that. Since then I\u2019ve worked on speaking up for myself in a firmer, more confident tone and what I say gets taken a lot more seriously.\u00a0 You can learn a lot by observing yourself!<\/p>\n

By becoming aware of what you do, you can see more clearly what works and what doesn’t. \u00a0We often take ourselves for granted. \u00a0We assume we’re conducting ourselves in the best way possible. \u00a0That’s not always the case. \u00a0When I first became conscious of a whine in my voice,\u00a0I realized I spent much more of my efforts paying attention to what others say than to my own communication. \u00a0Remember, self-awareness is the first step towards self-improvement!
\n*************<\/p>\n

Join The Self-Love Movement\u2122!<\/strong><\/a> Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a>—\u201cI commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days<\/strong>.<\/strong>\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2014 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>. Watch the video<\/strong><\/a> made with Hoobastank’s song–The reason–that illustrates the power of self-love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Self-awareness I crucial for making changes that can empower you. If you\u2019re not aware of habits that hold you back, they\u2019ll continue to hold you back. When you want to make changes, you need to assess what to change. That takes self-awareness. I call one of my techniques for self-awareness SOBO (Simulated Outer Body Observation).…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2],"tags":[884,88],"class_list":["post-5296","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-making-changes","tag-self-empowerment"],"yoast_head":"\nKeeping an Eye on Yourself - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2014\/02\/keeping-an-eye-on-yourself.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Keeping an Eye on Yourself - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Self-awareness I crucial for making changes that can empower you. If you\u2019re not aware of habits that hold you back, they\u2019ll continue to hold you back. When you want to make changes, you need to assess what to change. That takes self-awareness. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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