{"id":526,"date":"2011-03-21T12:01:00","date_gmt":"2011-03-21T12:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/03\/give-yourself-permission-in-writing.html"},"modified":"2011-03-21T12:01:00","modified_gmt":"2011-03-21T12:01:00","slug":"give-yourself-permission-in-writing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/03\/give-yourself-permission-in-writing.html","title":{"rendered":"Give Yourself Permission in Writing"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Hand<\/a><\/span>Insecure people are used to doing more of what they’re told to do. Pleasing others becomes a routine that feels comfortable in a world that makes you uncomfortable. It assures you of getting some approval. Stepping out to do something different or behave in a way you’re not used to can seem scary and out of your comfort zone. If someone you’re close to and want to please tells you to do something, it might feel more secure, since they’re letting you know it’s okay. <\/p>\n

You may believe you need permission to do what you want or to step into happiness. <\/p>\n

Sometimes when I’m working with a client, I literally give them permission to try something new and off they go to do it. When you’re so used to doing things one way, it feels secure, even if you’re not. We’re attracted to what we’re used to, including what we don’t like. That’s why so many people tend to be attracted to the same kinds of unhealthy romantic partner. You may not like what they do but you’re used to it and have defenses against the bad behavior. <\/p>\n

New paths mean new defenses might have to be built. So we take the “easy way” and remain stuck. <\/p>\n

I had to consciously change the patterns that kept me stuck and you can too! I give you permission!  Now give it to yourself if you want to be happy.<\/b> If you want to buy the shirt or lotion or car ornament or whatever you think costs more than you “should” spend, take a piece of paper and write down what you need permission to do, such as:<\/b><\/p>\n

??“I give me permission to buy______ because I love me.”<\/i>
“I give me permission to express my feelings because I love me.”<\/i>
“I give me permission to do what makes me happy I love me.”<\/i><\/p>\n

Make a few copies, sign each, and hang them up in different places where you see them. Let the message permeate your consciousness until you can’t resist the need to buy it or do it. When you enjoy the results, take another step to giving yourself more permission to do something else, like take some time off for relaxing, even if you have a lot on your plate:<\/p>\n

“I give me permission to spend the afternoon in the park because I love me.”<\/p>\n

On a broader scale, give yourself permission to be happy<\/b>. When you’re so fixated on getting by, happiness doesn’t seem possible. But it is. Life isn’t about passing time and surviving, it’s about giving yourself pleasure, over and over and over. I enjoy my life every day now–so much better than making everyone but me happy. Make a more permanent note to self and read it often:<\/p>\n

“I give me permission to be happy because I love me.”<\/b><\/p>\n

You don’t need others to give you permission to be loving to yourself and do the things that would add joy to your life. Write it down. Give yourself a permission slip. With each one, allow yourself to bask in the joy of doing or getting each thing brings.<\/p>\n

Take the 31 Days of <\/b>Self-Love challenge<\/b><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/b> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a>. And you can post your loving acts HERE<\/a><\/b> to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/a>.<\/b> <\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Insecure people are used to doing more of what they’re told to do. Pleasing others becomes a routine that feels comfortable in a world that makes you uncomfortable. It assures you of getting some approval. Stepping out to do something different or behave in a way you’re not used to can seem scary and out…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-526","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance"],"yoast_head":"\nGive Yourself Permission in Writing - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2011\/03\/give-yourself-permission-in-writing.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Give Yourself Permission in Writing - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Insecure people are used to doing more of what they’re told to do. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/526","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=526"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/526\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=526"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=526"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=526"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}