{"id":5021,"date":"2013-12-31T12:01:33","date_gmt":"2013-12-31T17:01:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=5021"},"modified":"2013-12-20T11:37:15","modified_gmt":"2013-12-20T16:37:15","slug":"turn-regrets-into-gratitude","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/12\/turn-regrets-into-gratitude.html","title":{"rendered":"Turn Regrets into Gratitude"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"sky\"<\/a>Every decision you have made, for better or worse, has led to who you are today, hopefully a person who is wiser, stronger and more evolved than yesterday. ??It\u2019s easy to feel ashamed of things you did years ago. We all make mistakes and foolish choices. Or we hurt folks with our actions, even if we don\u2019t mean to. Then we wallow in regret, guilt, shame, or carry anger at ourselves for things we wish we hadn\u2019t done or that we didn\u2019t do, poor choices or mistakes. It\u2019s important to be grateful for what they taught you and let the regrets go.<\/p>\n

For example, Kim came to me full of regrets about breaking up with her fianc\u00e9. She had liked that he treated her so well after being with several jerks. She enjoyed being loved by a good man yett eventually found herself bored with him. But after dating s lot of guys who didn\u2019t treat her well, she regretted not staying with one who did.<\/p>\n

As Kim lamented about what she let go of, I asked her to tell me what the relationship taught her about what she wanted in a man for a long term relationship. She immediately said she wanted someone who treated her well like the fianc\u00e9 she left. And what else? As she looked back on why she ended the engagement, Kim reognizd she also wanted a guy who simulated her intellectually.<\/p>\n

Kim was also able to identify more clearly what she didn\u2019t want that attracted her to men who didn\u2019t treat her well. She was grateful for that awareness when she met Brad, who she might not have had a first date with because his shyness put her off. Since she had been thinking about the qualities that were important to her, she recognized his kindness and when they went out loved their conversations. She married him!<\/p>\n

Be grateful for all your experiences. Things that we regret guide us to where we want to be. ??Your regrets taught you and helped you get to your current situations. When I look back there are many things I wish I hadn\u2019t done and things I regret not doing. But I can see how they shaped me into who I am today. I try to be a better person because of my regrets, or they\u2019ve become blessings.<\/p>\n

Look for the good in your regrets. What did they teach you? What do you do in better ways because of them? Holding on to regrets hurts you.\u00a0 Finding reasons to be grateful for what happened takes the sting out of them. And gratitude feels so much better than regret.
\n**************<\/p>\n

Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a>—\u201cI commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the first 31 days of 2014.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every decision you have made, for better or worse, has led to who you are today, hopefully a person who is wiser, stronger and more evolved than yesterday. ??It\u2019s easy to feel ashamed of things you did years ago. We all make mistakes and foolish choices. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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