{"id":5019,"date":"2013-12-23T12:01:48","date_gmt":"2013-12-23T17:01:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=5019"},"modified":"2013-12-20T11:34:35","modified_gmt":"2013-12-20T16:34:35","slug":"giving-presents-vs-presence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/12\/giving-presents-vs-presence.html","title":{"rendered":"Giving Presents vs. Presence"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"gift\"<\/a>This is a time of gift giving. I hear people stressing out over what to get for special people in their lives. And many end up working extra hours or a second job to make more money while their loved ones wish for time with them.<\/p>\n

A more special gift can be you being present with the person. I don\u2019t just mean being there but paying attention to what they say, and what they need from you.\u00a0 A warm hug may be received with more gratitude than something you buy. The gift of spending quality can trump a lot. What does that mean? You can be with a person and not be present if you\u2019re constantly checking your phone or watching a game on TV. Being present means:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Listening with intent and having a meaningful conversation.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Acknowledging his\/her feelings.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Making eye contact.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Doing something that your mom, dad, partner, kids, grandparent would enjoy doing with you.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Making the person feel you\u2019re happy to be there.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Letting them know you appreciate them.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t buy personal connections and contact. Think about who you can share the gift of your time with during the holidays. That could be the best present you can give.
\n**************<\/p>\n

Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a>—\u201cI commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the first 31 days of 2014.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is a time of gift giving. I hear people stressing out over what to get for special people in their lives. And many end up working extra hours or a second job to make more money while their loved ones wish for time with them. A more special gift can be you being present…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,15],"tags":[823],"class_list":["post-5019","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-bein-present"],"yoast_head":"\nGiving Presents vs. Presence - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/12\/giving-presents-vs-presence.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Giving Presents vs. Presence - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is a time of gift giving. I hear people stressing out over what to get for special people in their lives. And many end up working extra hours or a second job to make more money while their loved ones wish for time with them. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5019","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5019"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5019\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5020,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5019\/revisions\/5020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5019"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5019"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5019"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}