{"id":50,"date":"2009-12-05T22:05:00","date_gmt":"2009-12-05T22:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/12\/loving-gifts.html"},"modified":"2009-12-05T22:05:00","modified_gmt":"2009-12-05T22:05:00","slug":"loving-gifts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2009\/12\/loving-gifts.html","title":{"rendered":"Loving Gifts"},"content":{"rendered":"

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We all know that the economy isn\u2019t so great for many people. Many are cutting back on spending. With the season of gift-giving bearing down on us, it\u2019s good to think about gifts that don\u2019t cost anything but that can be a blessing to others, and to yourself. I was thinking about things that make me happy to receive and to give and shall share them here:<\/span><\/p>\n

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Compliments<\/span>?: A kind word to someone can brighten their day. Expressing appreciation for how someone looks or something they did can be a tonic for many. While I have great self-esteem now, I still love when someone has complimentary words for how I look. You might not think it but men love compliments too! We often give them more to women but everyone likes to feel appreciated or know that you recognize their good qualities. So be generous about letting people know what you like about them.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Heartfelt thank yous<\/span>: Nobody likes to be taken for granted. Often we just expect people in our lives to do the things they do for us and don\u2019t stop to let them know we appreciate it. You might not actually feel appreciation if you take someone for granted. But you should! <\/span>?Expressing appreciation for what others do is a form of gratitude, and gratitude brings many gifts. Think about what people in your life do for you and tell them it isn\u2019t unnoticed.
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Sending a handwritten note in this age of quickly written emails makes you stand out and is usually valued by the recipient. I still remember people who sent me a personal thank you note in the mail after hearing me speak. Notes matter! Send a card to your mom or a friend when it isn\u2019t an occasion, just to say they\u2019re special. That can be better than anything you buy.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Active listening<\/span>?: There\u2019s listening\u2014being there, nodding appropriately but not really processing what\u2019s being said as you wait for your turn to speak. And then there\u2019s listening with respect and caring. The latter is a gift. When someone comes to you with a serious concern, make listening about them only. Ask questions to show you\u2019re paying full attention. Let them know you care and are willing to put your personal thoughts aside to give them your full focus. This is a gift that will bring you great rewards in return!<\/span><\/p>\n

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Love<\/span>: I don\u2019t mean romantic love or the deep love you have for family, though that’s good too. Be a loving kind of person to others\u2014warm, friendly, caring. I love being that way. ?I hug people a lot. Most know to expect one for hello and goodbye. I have a friend who is very undemonstrative. She didn\u2019t have much love growing up and has a hard time expressing it. Whenever I\u2019d go to give her a hug she\u2019d stiffen up and didn\u2019t quite hug me in return. Her hands would just kind of pat my back. I thought it made her uncomfortable so once when saying goodbye, I didn\u2019t reach out to hug her. Surprisingly, she came forward with her arms out, waiting for one. She didn\u2019t know how to receive love but liked the hugs just the same. Hugs are very therapeutic for everyone.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Support<\/span>: A wonderful gift is to give support that THE PERSON<\/b> needs. I emphasized THE PERSON<\/b> because often people offer the support they think the person needs, or that they want to give. Men get into trouble with their romantic partner when they try to tell them how to fix a problem instead of just offering supportive words or asking, <\/span>\u201cWhat do you need from me?\u201d Many folks give what according to their own agendas. When my mom passed away suddenly from an accident, one friend kept calling me, asking sadly how I was doing. Her whole attitude was negative.
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I explained I\u2019d rather she call less. I\u2019d be counting the blessings about my Mom, feeling grateful for my wonderful memories, and she\u2019d call and depress me. She drove me so crazy that I had to tell her that she was the cause of me feeling down. She indignantly said that if it were her, she\u2019d want people to hover. But I wasn\u2019t her and had to eventually get mean to stop her depressing calls. Letting someone know you\u2019re there if needed is often support enough. While I\u2019ve never called my neighbor who said I could call even in the middle of the night if I had a problem, I feel good knowing I can.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Smiles<\/span>. Smiling and a cheerful demeanor put people into good moods. It will put you into a better mood too! BE generous with smiles and an upbeat mood.
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Time<\/span>. Making time to spend with those you care about can be the biggest gift of all. Often we\u2019re so busy we forget to visit friends and loved ones or postpone calling them <\/span>and they feel neglected, even if they don\u2019t tell you. Studies show that good relationships with others can give the biggest positive boost to your health. Making time allows you to feel the love too! It also helps you to prevent regrets if something happens to a loved one.
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These gifts will enrich the lives of those on the receiving end and enrich yours too! Think about who you can give these gifts from the heart to. And for ideas for material gifts to give, you can check out my blog post from last year<\/span>\u2014Giving Gifts that Nurture People & Our Planet<\/span><\/a><\/span>\u2014<\/span>where I reviewed some wonderful products that nurture. And don\u2019t forget to do or get something(s) special for YOU!
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If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and\/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon and Digg. Thanks!<\/p>\n

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<a href="http:\/\/www.addthis.com\/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url \"AddThis<\/a> var addthis_pub = ‘wryter’; <\/span><\/p>\n

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We all know that the economy isn\u2019t so great for many people. Many are cutting back on spending. With the season of gift-giving bearing down on us, it\u2019s good to think about gifts that don\u2019t cost anything but that can be a blessing to others, and to yourself. 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