{"id":4950,"date":"2013-11-25T12:01:53","date_gmt":"2013-11-25T17:01:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4950"},"modified":"2013-11-09T22:18:46","modified_gmt":"2013-11-10T03:18:46","slug":"spend-a-day-focused-on-positives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html","title":{"rendered":"Spend a Day Focused on Positives"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/03\/sky.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-2902\" alt=\"sky\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2012\/03\/sky-300x225.jpg\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/a>How often do you complain about something or get a negative thought or get annoyed at something. Those can be like poison to your soul. Most people experience this every day, without realizing it. Yet subconsciously they bring you down. This time of year, the holidays can trigger many negatives:<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Pressure to increase your budget for gifts<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Guilt about overindulging at parties<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Loneliness if you don\u2019t get invited to parties or you have no one to spend the holidays with<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Getting Seasonal Affective Disorder from the shorter days<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Worry about another year passing without achieving your goals<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Feeling like a loser without a date for New Years Eve<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Sadness from seeing everyone around you acting happy and festive if you don\u2019t feel that way<\/p>\n<p>I used to get some of that and know how lousy it can make you feel. When I\u2019m going through days of being in a funk, I choose one day to eliminate the negatives from my head. It\u2019s not easy but you CAN do it for one day! You must be vigilant of your thoughts. If you start complaining to someone, interrupt yourself and say, \u201dNever mind. It\u2019s OK.\u201d As negative feelings start to surface, tell them \u201cNO!\u201d and declare to yourself that you\u2019re choosing to feel good.<\/p>\n<p>Replace negatives with your blessings. Instead of complaining about your annoying co-worker, think about your loyal best friend. If the shorter days get you down, get more lights. Exercise can pick you up. Take a walk. When I start to feel down I clean my apartment. It gives me a sense of control that negative emotions take away. Find something positive to replace the negative.<\/p>\n<p>If you set your mind to it, you can spend one day without complaining, blaming, worrying, feeling guilty, letting others bring you down. Once you do, you my want to do it more often.<br \/>\n**************<\/p>\n<p>Join the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a>&#8212;<strong>\u201cI commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the first 31 days of 2014.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/3961.html\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/TheSelfLoveMovement\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How often do you complain about something or get a negative thought or get annoyed at something. Those can be like poison to your soul. Most people experience this every day, without realizing it. Yet subconsciously they bring you down. This time of year, the holidays can trigger many negatives: \u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Pressure to increase your&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,14],"tags":[150],"class_list":["post-4950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-positive-mental-attitude","tag-staying-positive"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Spend a Day Focused on Positives - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Spend a Day Focused on Positives - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How often do you complain about something or get a negative thought or get annoyed at something. Those can be like poison to your soul. Most people experience this every day, without realizing it. Yet subconsciously they bring you down. This time of year, the holidays can trigger many negatives: \u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Pressure to increase your&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-11-25T17:01:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-11-10T03:18:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/03\/sky-300x225.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Spend a Day Focused on Positives - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Spend a Day Focused on Positives - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"How often do you complain about something or get a negative thought or get annoyed at something. Those can be like poison to your soul. Most people experience this every day, without realizing it. Yet subconsciously they bring you down. This time of year, the holidays can trigger many negatives: \u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Pressure to increase your&hellip;","og_url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html","og_site_name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","article_published_time":"2013-11-25T17:01:53+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-11-10T03:18:46+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/03\/sky-300x225.jpg"}],"author":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html","name":"Spend a Day Focused on Positives - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/03\/sky-300x225.jpg","datePublished":"2013-11-25T17:01:53+00:00","dateModified":"2013-11-10T03:18:46+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/03\/sky-300x225.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2012\/03\/sky-300x225.jpg"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/spend-a-day-focused-on-positives.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Spend a Day Focused on Positives"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/","name":"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","description":"Beliefnet Voices - Daylle Deanna Schwartz","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/4250884f68a588907744baa491f9df35","name":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-content\/wphb-cache\/gravatar\/83b\/83ba6e1423377712fe408a5fab971bfax96.jpg","caption":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz"},"description":"Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, best-selling author of 15 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill), All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise and founder of The Self-Love Movement\u2122 where she's giving away her 13th book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4950","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4950"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4951,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4950\/revisions\/4951"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}