{"id":4853,"date":"2013-12-09T12:01:47","date_gmt":"2013-12-09T17:01:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4853"},"modified":"2013-11-09T19:17:34","modified_gmt":"2013-11-10T00:17:34","slug":"why-anger-can-be-like-as-teakettle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/12\/why-anger-can-be-like-as-teakettle.html","title":{"rendered":"Why Anger Can Be Like as Teakettle"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"teakettle\"<\/a>When the water in as teakettle boils, it whistles to let the steam out. When anger boils up in you, how does it get out? Often we hold anger inside, especially if we\u2019re DoorMats and don\u2019t want to start trouble. But it has to come out somewhere and often we blow up at someone who doesn\u2019t deserve it, because they say or do one small annoying thing.<\/p>\n

Years ago I had a friend who had a lot of anger about things her co-workers did. I encouraged he to address it but she was too scared. On day we were in a restaurant having lunch and I made an innocent comment that she didn\u2019t like, and she exploded at me, screaming nasty things as other diners watched in horror. She was loud and mean. When she calmed down, she was almost in tears as she apologized, saying she didn\u2019t know what had come over her. I was embarrassed and angry and suggested she begin to speak up at work. \u201cOH no, I can\u2019t do that,\u201d was her reply.<\/p>\n

I told her that anger needs an outlet. Suppressing it leads to exploding at someone who doesn\u2019t deserve it when it reaches I boiling point, just like a teakettle. She scoffed it off. A few months later it happened again, also in a restaurant. I was happily enjoying my meal and she began screaming, \u201cWhy do you have such a bad attitude?\u201d I was in a good mood before that and had done nothing to deserve that, except maybe lick my lips in enjoyment of my meal. Her accusations were completely irrational. Pent up anger can do that.<\/p>\n

I had to let go of that friendship. I got tired of being a victim of her anger. If you’re the one someone takes target practice on to release anger, DO NOT tolerate it! Set a boundary or leave.<\/p>\n

Venting at someone unfairly because you don\u2019t want to express your feelings to the person who triggers your anger is unhealthy since you still haven\u2019t resolved what makes you angry. That\u2019s why it\u2019s so important to speak up. You can do it nicely. It\u2019s also good to have trusted people you can talk to about it and maybe get some good advice on how to address your situation. Then forgive yourself for any blame you put on yourself for it happening. Releasing anger is a loving gift you can give to yourself.
\n**************
\nJoin the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When the water in as teakettle boils, it whistles to let the steam out. When anger boils up in you, how does it get out? Often we hold anger inside, especially if we\u2019re DoorMats and don\u2019t want to start trouble. But it has to come out somewhere and often we blow up at someone who…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2,15],"tags":[789,43],"class_list":["post-4853","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-controling-anger","tag-people-pleasing"],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Anger Can Be Like as Teakettle - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/12\/why-anger-can-be-like-as-teakettle.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Anger Can Be Like as Teakettle - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When the water in as teakettle boils, it whistles to let the steam out. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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