{"id":4838,"date":"2013-11-04T12:01:55","date_gmt":"2013-11-04T17:01:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4838"},"modified":"2013-11-15T20:50:45","modified_gmt":"2013-11-16T01:50:45","slug":"watch-the-attitude-in-your-words","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/watch-the-attitude-in-your-words.html","title":{"rendered":"Watch the Attitude in Your Words"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2013\/10\/mouthtalking.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-4839\" alt=\"mouthtalking\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2013\/10\/mouthtalking-300x202.jpg\" width=\"300\" height=\"202\" \/><\/a>Do you want to have a positive persona and to feel positive? Listen to yourself. What attitude do you walk around with? It\u2019s harder for people who often seem angry or who have a negative outlook to feel positive about themselves. Consciously listen to your words. Do you complain a lot? Expect the worst? We get back what we give out. Living on a negative tip\u2014allowing people to bother you, hanging onto anger and being overly sensitive about what people say or do\u2014keeps the better goodies from reaching us.<\/p>\n<p>Pessimism dampens your spirit. I\u2019ve made positive statements to encourage someone such as \u201cI know you\u2019ll be OK;\u201d \u201cYou\u2019ll pass the test;\u201d \u201cEverything will work out fine,\u201d and gotten a wishy washy response such as \u201cI guess so,\u201d or \u201cmaybe.\u201d It\u2019s usually said with doubt that reflects in their demeanor. On a spiritual level, it says your faith isn\u2019t strong. Try some optimistic words. Just say, \u201cThanks for your encouragement,\u201d if that\u2019s all you can muster.<\/p>\n<p>Insecurity dilutes intentions if you use cop-outs like &#8220;I might&#8221; &#8211; \u201cI\u2019ll try\u201d &#8211; \u201cIf I can\u201d &#8211; \u201cI hope to.&#8221; When I give a pep talk to someone who wants something badly, and enthusiastically say they\u2019ll get it, these kinds of\u00a0 words express doubt and fear, which undermines confidence. We get back what we put out. If you reflect doubt or fear, your chances of accomplishment get more doubtful. Saying, \u201cI hope so,\u201d indicates you\u2019re thinking about potential failure.<\/p>\n<p>We attract what we give out!!! Prepare for failure and receive! Or break old habits. Practice using \u201cI can\u201d or \u201cI will\u201d to state what you want. Over and over, even if you don\u2019t quite believe it. It WILL get easier as you change your attitude and receive more. \u201cI can\u201d and \u201cI will\u201d set a positive expectation. Using them give you more control over outcomes. Saying them feels better than a doubtful, &#8220;I hope to&#8221; or &#8220;I should.&#8221; \u201cCan\u201d and will\u201d show commitment. Confident words instill a stronger, clearer determination to succeed than words expressing wishful thinking. They rev you up and put you into a better mindset to reach goals. Replace all iffy, hopeful words with resolute ones! I hope my words have gotten through because this is a power tool.<\/p>\n<p>Saying, \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d infers doing something wrong, but it\u2019s often used casually. Break that habit! Apologizing carte blanche is a subtle self-esteem buster that feeds guilt. Why say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d if you did nothing wrong? I\u2019ve banged people accidentally and they say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d before I can. It\u2019s an automatic response. But saying \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d sends a subtle message of blame, which isn\u2019t necessary makes you feel bad. Be selective and only apologize if you legitimately were wrong. Use other words for when you don\u2019t. If you were right but feel bad, say a version of, \u201cI\u2019m sorry if I hurt your feelings but I had to do it.\u201d Apologize for how your actions affected someone without acting like you did something wrong\u2014an unnecessary way to bring yourself down.<\/p>\n<p>Watch the attitude that your words convey. They set a tone for how people view you and affects your mood and demeanor. Cleaning up your words can make s big difference in how empowered you feel.<br \/>\n**************<br \/>\nJoin the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/3961.html\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/TheSelfLoveMovement\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you want to have a positive persona and to feel positive? Listen to yourself. What attitude do you walk around with? It\u2019s harder for people who often seem angry or who have a negative outlook to feel positive about themselves. Consciously listen to your words. Do you complain a lot? Expect the worst? We&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,2],"tags":[788,150],"class_list":["post-4838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-positive-attitude","tag-staying-positive"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Watch the Attitude in Your Words - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/watch-the-attitude-in-your-words.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Watch the Attitude in Your Words - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Do you want to have a positive persona and to feel positive? Listen to yourself. What attitude do you walk around with? It\u2019s harder for people who often seem angry or who have a negative outlook to feel positive about themselves. Consciously listen to your words. Do you complain a lot? Expect the worst? We&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/watch-the-attitude-in-your-words.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-11-04T17:01:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-11-16T01:50:45+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2013\/10\/mouthtalking-300x202.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Watch the Attitude in Your Words - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/11\/watch-the-attitude-in-your-words.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Watch the Attitude in Your Words - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Do you want to have a positive persona and to feel positive? Listen to yourself. What attitude do you walk around with? It\u2019s harder for people who often seem angry or who have a negative outlook to feel positive about themselves. Consciously listen to your words. Do you complain a lot? Expect the worst? 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4838","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4838"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4838\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4957,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4838\/revisions\/4957"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4838"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4838"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4838"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}