{"id":4779,"date":"2013-10-14T12:01:34","date_gmt":"2013-10-14T16:01:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4779"},"modified":"2013-09-04T13:31:14","modified_gmt":"2013-09-04T17:31:14","slug":"be-the-master-of-you-fate-and-captain-of-your-soul","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/10\/be-the-master-of-you-fate-and-captain-of-your-soul.html","title":{"rendered":"Be the Master of You Fate and Captain of your Soul"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"fist\"<\/a>Invictus by William Ernest Henley<\/strong>
\nOut of the night that covers me,<\/em>
\nBlack as the Pit from pole to pole,<\/em>
\nI thank whatever gods may be<\/em>
\nFor my unconquerable soul.<\/em><\/p>\n

In the fell clutch of circumstance<\/em>
\n?I have not winced nor cried aloud.<\/em>
\nUnder the bludgeonings of chance<\/em>
\n?My head is bloody, but unbowed.<\/em><\/p>\n

Beyond this place of wrath and tears<\/em>
\n?Looms but the Horror of the shade,<\/em>
\nAnd yet the menace of the years<\/em>
\nFinds, and shall find, me unafraid.<\/em><\/p>\n

It matters not how strait the gate,<\/em>
\nHow charged with punishments the scroll.<\/em>
\n?I am the master of my fate:<\/em>
\nI am the captain of my soul.<\/p>\n

This is one of my favorite poems. I read it when I was in sixth grade and those last lines have stayed with me. Too many people sit around wallowing in negative circumstances that occur and give up or wait for someone to do the work and help them achieve their goals, or they pray for a miracle. But the best way to get what you want is to get it yourself. Yes, occasionally one gets lucky and finds someone who believes in them enough to help them. But it’s rare, and waiting wastes time.<\/p>\n

When I counsel creative types, especially musicians, I hear about hopes of being discovered; wishes that someone out of the blue will notice them. Yet they do little to get noticed. This kind of wishing for something outside of you to just knock on your door with what you need makes you powerless. It could be:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cI need to find a better place to live and keep hoping someone will tell me about a great vacancy.\u201d I ask why someone would do that if they haven\u2019t made an effort to look or a place.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m dying for a good new job and wish I\u2019d hear about an opening.\u201d Sorry, but the wish fairy doesn\u2019t do the looking for you and then whisper in your ear where to apply. YOU needt o polish your resume, send it out to jobs you see advertised, and also tell people what you\u2019re\u00a0 looking for. Nor does she do the necessary networking for you. It\u2019s up to you to get yourself out to places where you might meet someone who could help.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cI\u2019ve been turned down so many times that I see no point in trying again. \u201c Unless you don\u2019t want whatever it is, giving up won\u2019t get you what will make you happy. Taking control and trying to get what you want is the only way to master your life.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cI want to get a book\/record deal and need to find someone who will do it for me.” Until you\u2019ve reached a level of success it\u2019s unlikely someone will step up to do it for you.<\/p>\n

Depending on people to make your goals happen keeps you from owning your power. Even with an agent, I do what I can to get deals for my own books. Even with a publicist, I never stop working the media myself. No one cares more about your career or needs than you do. Become the master of your own fate and the captain of your soul, since I feeds your spirit. Then you’re an empowered individual. For me, it’s the best way to follow your passions and be happy.
\n**************
\nJoin the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Invictus by William Ernest Henley Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance ?I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance ?My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,15],"tags":[772,773,88],"class_list":["post-4779","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-invictus","tag-master-of-you-fate","tag-self-empowerment"],"yoast_head":"\nBe the Master of You Fate and Captain of your Soul - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/10\/be-the-master-of-you-fate-and-captain-of-your-soul.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Be the Master of You Fate and Captain of your Soul - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Invictus by William Ernest Henley Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4779","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4779"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4779\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4799,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4779\/revisions\/4799"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4779"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4779"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4779"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}