{"id":4775,"date":"2013-10-11T12:01:31","date_gmt":"2013-10-11T16:01:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4775"},"modified":"2013-09-03T23:07:07","modified_gmt":"2013-09-04T03:07:07","slug":"are-you-an-introvert-or-shy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/10\/are-you-an-introvert-or-shy.html","title":{"rendered":"Are You an Introvert or Shy?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2013\/09\/hand-on-face.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-4776\" alt=\"hand on face\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-media.beliefnet.com\/sites\/91\/2013\/09\/hand-on-face-300x199.jpg\" width=\"312\" height=\"266\" \/><\/a>Many of my clients tell me that they\u2019re shy yet they\u2019re outgoing and it confuses them. I think of myself s shy too. I recently heard an interesting discussion on The Today Show about the difference between being shy and being introverted. I recognized that while I\u2019m a bit shy in situations where I don\u2019t know anyone, I\u2019m more of an introvert.<\/p>\n<p>Shyness is usually emotional, often triggered by fear. I think that everyone has a little shyness. Walking into a room full of strangers can feel scary. Having to speak to a group be intimidating. That\u2019s normal and can be dealt with.\u00a0 But being a shy person can affect your day-to day dealings if you have negative feelings about interacting with people. Being shy can:<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Make you avoid activities involving groups of people<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Cause physical discomfort when you have to interact with people<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Motivate a job choice solely based on being able to work on your own<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Give co-workers a bad impression of you if you never speak up at meetings<br \/>\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Create stress whenever you have to deal with people<\/p>\n<p>Often people like me who say they\u2019re shy are really introverts\u2014people who tend to like to be in their own company. That\u2019s me! Because my personality is bubbly and friendly, most people see me as an extrovert. I do like people and enjoy time spent with friends. But the things I enjoy most are activities I usually do alone. I think it\u2019s a result of getting over needing people so much in my DoorMat days. When you spend years needing to please everyone to avoid being alone, it can be joyous to enjoy doing things solo. I\u2019ve had friends complain that I don\u2019t make enough time for them.<\/p>\n<p>Being introverted doesn\u2019t create the kind of negative emotions that shyness does. I\u2019m happy to be introverted because I like my own company. DoorMats don\u2019t. So the next time you think of yourself s shy, consider that you might be an introvert and just like flying solo. Do you have a big emotional response when you\u2019re around lot of people or do you just wish you could be home snuggled up with good book? If you\u2019re painfully shy, identify what scares you and work on it. When I go to a networking event, I force myself to smile and introduce myself to people. It usually works out fine so I\u2019m more comfortable with it.<br \/>\n**************<br \/>\nJoin the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-pledge\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/the-book\" target=\"_blank\">How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at <strong><a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\/\">http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts <a href=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/3961.html\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the <a href=\"http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/TheSelfLoveMovement\" target=\"_blank\"><strong>Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Many of my clients tell me that they\u2019re shy yet they\u2019re outgoing and it confuses them. I think of myself s shy too. I recently heard an interesting discussion on The Today Show about the difference between being shy and being introverted. I recognized that while I\u2019m a bit shy in situations where I don\u2019t&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[771,770],"class_list":["post-4775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-introverts","tag-shyness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Are You an Introvert or Shy? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/10\/are-you-an-introvert-or-shy.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Are You an Introvert or Shy? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Many of my clients tell me that they\u2019re shy yet they\u2019re outgoing and it confuses them. I think of myself s shy too. I recently heard an interesting discussion on The Today Show about the difference between being shy and being introverted. I recognized that while I\u2019m a bit shy in situations where I don\u2019t&hellip;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/10\/are-you-an-introvert-or-shy.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-10-11T16:01:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-09-04T03:07:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2013\/09\/hand-on-face-300x199.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Are You an Introvert or Shy? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/10\/are-you-an-introvert-or-shy.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Are You an Introvert or Shy? - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"Many of my clients tell me that they\u2019re shy yet they\u2019re outgoing and it confuses them. I think of myself s shy too. I recently heard an interesting discussion on The Today Show about the difference between being shy and being introverted. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start &amp; Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4775","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4775"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4775\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4778,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4775\/revisions\/4778"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4775"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4775"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4775"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}