{"id":4603,"date":"2013-08-26T12:01:30","date_gmt":"2013-08-26T16:01:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4603"},"modified":"2013-06-18T22:31:04","modified_gmt":"2013-06-19T02:31:04","slug":"retail-therapy-emotional-shopping","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/08\/retail-therapy-emotional-shopping.html","title":{"rendered":"Retail Therapy = Emotional Shopping"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"purse\"<\/a>Retail Therapy has become a popular term lately. It\u2019s often said in a joking way that someone is going for retail therapy because they have a problem. But, shopping to make yourself feel better usually doesn\u2019t make you feel better beyond the moments of a purchase, especially when the bills come. Only working on yourself and resolving what\u2019s wrong or your feelings about something that hurt you can bring you real peace and joy.<\/p>\n

Shopping can take your mind off of a problem or hurt but doesn\u2019t make it go away.<\/p>\n

Our society encourages people to turn to material things to find happiness, but that\u2019s not where it comes from. People use retail therapy to soothe a variety of wounds, fears and inadequacies. You may be feeling down, had a romantic break up, made a mistake at work that was embarrassing, or some other negative feeling or experience. Loneliness is also a common reason people shop. But shopping is a very short-lived fix when you feel out of control in other areas of your life or you need a pick-me-up.<\/p>\n

You might head for a shopping center or your favorite online shopping sites to find some relief. But no matter how much you buy, the problems that drove you to shop don\u2019t go away with purchases. I\u2019ve worked with people who ran up huge credit card bills in an effort to soothe themselves. They sadly admitted to emotional shopping for things they hadn\u2019t even taken out of the bag yet. Emotional shopping is often impulsive. You may not need what you buy so it just sits in a closet as you pay the bills.<\/p>\n

Retail Therapy makes you buy things you don\u2019t need and may not be able to afford easily, all in an effort to heal emotions that don\u2019t feel good.<\/p>\n

But this kind of therapy isn\u2019t very effective. If you get an urge to shop when you\u2019re upset, call a friend first. Talk it out. Go to a real therapist if this becomes a pattern. You have to deal with what\u2019s making you need to buy things in order to feel better! Purchases are like Band Aids that fall off quickly and leave the wound as raw as when you put it on. Leave shopping for when you\u2019re in a good mood and actually need stuff. Love yourself enough to work on what\u2019s bothering you so the negative emotions can leave for good!
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Retail Therapy has become a popular term lately. It\u2019s often said in a joking way that someone is going for retail therapy because they have a problem. But, shopping to make yourself feel better usually doesn\u2019t make you feel better beyond the moments of a purchase, especially when the bills come. Only working on yourself…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4603","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first"],"yoast_head":"\nRetail Therapy = Emotional Shopping - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/08\/retail-therapy-emotional-shopping.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Retail Therapy = Emotional Shopping - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Retail Therapy has become a popular term lately. It\u2019s often said in a joking way that someone is going for retail therapy because they have a problem. But, shopping to make yourself feel better usually doesn\u2019t make you feel better beyond the moments of a purchase, especially when the bills come. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4603","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4603"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4603\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4606,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4603\/revisions\/4606"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4603"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4603"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4603"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}