{"id":4549,"date":"2013-08-05T12:01:49","date_gmt":"2013-08-05T16:01:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4549"},"modified":"2013-06-12T13:54:13","modified_gmt":"2013-06-12T17:54:13","slug":"living-with-regrets","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/08\/living-with-regrets.html","title":{"rendered":"Living with Regrets"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do memories of things yo\"fire\"<\/a>u did or didn\u2019t do lead to self-recrimination? Do you wish you\u2019d done things differently? All those things that you did or didn\u2019t do in the PAST can haunt you today. I emphasized PAST because they happened already and are over. But if you keep the regrets alive in your memory then it\u2019s not over. I hear regret about:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Letting someone who could have been the love of your life go
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Staying with the wrong person for too long
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Not getting the degree you really wanted to get the career you wish you had.
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Saying something that ended a good friendship
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Making a bad investment<\/p>\n

How does thinking about these kinds of things make you feel? When I had many regrets I felt lousy thinking about them. Regrets usually have no positive benefits. They can also trigger guilt\u2014another negative emotions that brings you down. Absorb and accept this:<\/p>\n

Regret is like poison for your soul! It needs to be left in the past.<\/p>\n

Studies show that the happiest people have the fewest regrets. Do you want to be happy? I want you to be! But it won\u2019t happen if you live with regrets. To get rid of regret, try these tips:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Acknowledge what you did or didn\u2019t do and that it bothers you<\/strong>. Don\u2019t try to push it away and act like you don\u2019t care because you do. Get in touch with your feelings about it.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Forgive yourself for doing what you regret<\/strong>. You were trying your best and it\u2019s okay. You obviously had a reason for what happened. Remember what it was.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Remind yourself that you\u2019re human<\/strong>. You made a choice that seemed logical or right or from your heart or because you were scared.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Write down all the ways you\u2019ve gown since then<\/strong>. Take pride that you\u2019ve learned.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Write down what you regret<\/strong>. Read it out loud and then say, \u201cIt\u2019s okay and it\u2019s over.\u201d Then burn the paper.<\/p>\n

If you regret something you can follow through on now, do it. Go back to school and study what you wanted. Go to law school\u2014it\u2019s never too late! Call the friend you regret losing. And then move on from the past. Letting go of regrets is a strong act of self-love. It will also free up your thoughts for more positive ones. And you\u2019ll feel much lighter, which will allow you to be happier.
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do memories of things you did or didn\u2019t do lead to self-recrimination? Do you wish you\u2019d done things differently? All those things that you did or didn\u2019t do in the PAST can haunt you today. I emphasized PAST because they happened already and are over. But if you keep the regrets alive in your memory…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,2,15],"tags":[718,976,27],"class_list":["post-4549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-positive-mental-attitude","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-regrets","tag-self-esteem","tag-self-love"],"yoast_head":"\nLiving with Regrets - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/08\/living-with-regrets.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Living with Regrets - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Do memories of things you did or didn\u2019t do lead to self-recrimination? 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4549","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4549"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4549\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4558,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4549\/revisions\/4558"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4549"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4549"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4549"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}