{"id":4528,"date":"2013-07-29T12:01:32","date_gmt":"2013-07-29T16:01:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4528"},"modified":"2013-06-04T22:57:15","modified_gmt":"2013-06-05T02:57:15","slug":"needing-to-do-everything-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/07\/needing-to-do-everything-yourself.html","title":{"rendered":"Needing to Do Everything Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"juggling\"<\/a>I\u2019ve always been a multi-tasker. It was necessary years ago when I took on way too much because I had to do everything myself. DoorMats aren\u2019t good at asking for help and I was totally uncomfortable with asking for anything. Nor could I receive help when it was offered. I didn\u2019t feel worthy and thought people would like me more if I didn\u2019t bother them. It also made me feel more in control of my world.<\/p>\n

But there was another reason for not getting help. I was always striving to be perfect and didn\u2019t trust others to do most things for me. I\u2019d often say, \u201cif I don\u2019t do it, it will never get done.\u201d But that wasn\u2019t quite the truth. I hardly ever tried to count on anyone. I didn\u2019t trust people because I didn\u2019t trust myself. I used to own a business but rarely relegated tasks that employees could have done. I remember how foolish I felt when someone asked why I paid salaries to people and did the work myself. It was true! I was overworked but did everyone\u2019s job. It was absurd.<\/p>\n

Fortunately that was around the time I was leaving DoorMatville so I had a more realistic perspective. I slowly counted on people more and most didn\u2019t disappoint me. I accepted that it was okay if someone didn\u2019t do a task the way I\u2019d have done it. It was done and I didn\u2019t have to do it! I remember the first time I took a day off and the business didn\u2019t fall apart. It was a lovely enlightenment. I felt free.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have to do everything yourself to be in control of your life. I\u2019ve developed enough faith and trust in me to choose the right people to relegate tasks to. I\u2019m now happy when someone offers to do something for me. The more you love yourself the easier it is to allow help and support in. Conversely, the more you allow it in, the stronger your self-love can grow. Make sure that your life is balanced and you\u2019re not needing to do everything yourself. If you are, ask yourself why and work on the reason. Then enjoy feeling supported!
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve always been a multi-tasker. It was necessary years ago when I took on way too much because I had to do everything myself. DoorMats aren\u2019t good at asking for help and I was totally uncomfortable with asking for anything. Nor could I receive help when it was offered. I didn\u2019t feel worthy and thought…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2],"tags":[715,43],"class_list":["post-4528","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-self-empowerment-confidence","tag-delegating","tag-people-pleasing"],"yoast_head":"\nNeeding to Do Everything Yourself - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/07\/needing-to-do-everything-yourself.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Needing to Do Everything Yourself - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019ve always been a multi-tasker. It was necessary years ago when I took on way too much because I had to do everything myself. DoorMats aren\u2019t good at asking for help and I was totally uncomfortable with asking for anything. Nor could I receive help when it was offered. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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