{"id":4335,"date":"2013-05-20T12:01:05","date_gmt":"2013-05-20T16:01:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4335"},"modified":"2013-04-21T15:23:16","modified_gmt":"2013-04-21T19:23:16","slug":"give-yourself-permission-to-walk-away","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/05\/give-yourself-permission-to-walk-away.html","title":{"rendered":"Give Yourself Permission to Walk Away"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Walkers'<\/a>Often we take something on and feel obligated to finish. Or, we set a goal that feels daunting but believe it\u2019s what we\u2019re supposed to do. That can create a lot of stress, which makes it hard to embrace what you\u2019ve committed to do. I\u2019ve learned that giving yourself permission to walk away from a commitment or to not adopt the goal you think you should gives you the freedom to decide what to do without the stress of obligation hanging over you.<\/p>\n

I was recently hired to do a project that I really wanted to do. It was for good money and offered others opportunities down the road. But when I began to discuss it with the people involved, I got a bad feeling. One of them became very demanding. It sounded like it would be much more work than I\u2019d anticipated. I began to get stressed about it. I like to enjoy my work and it felt like I wasn\u2019t going to enjoy it. When I found myself ranting about it and feeling like I couldn\u2019t do it, I recognized that the stress was affecting me badly. And since I love me, I didn\u2019t want to continue like that.<\/p>\n

So I gave myself permission to back out of the project, despite the benefits. My mental health is worth more than the money. I didn\u2019t back out but knowing I\u2019d be okay with moving on was a relief. It allowed me to feel okay to email the parties involved with my concerns. If I not had permission to back out, I\u2019d have been too nervous about losing the project to say what I did. I got a good response, and an apology for something that had really bothered me.<\/p>\n

Knowing I didn\u2019t have to do the project allowed me to step back and consider whether it would be okay for me to do it more objectively. We had a conference call and I decided to see what was said before backing out. During that call many of my concerns were answered. I also got a much better picture of how it would go and had no stress thinking about doing it. The bottom line was that I decided not to back out. Having the permission to do so gave me the freedom to choose based on what felt right to me instead of from a place of obligation. I saw things differently without stress making it seem worse than it was.<\/p>\n

So I\u2019m doing the project and feeling good about my decision. Giving yourself freedom to let go of something gives you the freedom to objectively choose it. I still feel okay with walking away if it doesn’t feel right once I begin. If you set a goal that scares you, give yourself permission to let go of it or pare it down. Then you can have a real choice about whether you want it or not because the pressure to \u201chave to do it\u201d is lifted. That\u2019s the best place to make decisions from!
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Often we take something on and feel obligated to finish. Or, we set a goal that feels daunting but believe it\u2019s what we\u2019re supposed to do. That can create a lot of stress, which makes it hard to embrace what you\u2019ve committed to do. I\u2019ve learned that giving yourself permission to walk away from a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,15],"tags":[677,27,676,678],"class_list":["post-4335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-pressure-to-achieve","tag-self-love","tag-stress","tag-womens-issues"],"yoast_head":"\nGive Yourself Permission to Walk Away - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/05\/give-yourself-permission-to-walk-away.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Give Yourself Permission to Walk Away - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Often we take something on and feel obligated to finish. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4335","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4335"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4335\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4338,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4335\/revisions\/4338"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}