{"id":4331,"date":"2013-05-17T12:01:48","date_gmt":"2013-05-17T16:01:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4331"},"modified":"2013-04-20T23:11:54","modified_gmt":"2013-04-21T03:11:54","slug":"how-to-receive-a-compliment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/05\/how-to-receive-a-compliment.html","title":{"rendered":"How to Receive a Compliment"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"thankyou\"<\/a>How do you respond when someone gives you a compliment? Do you say something to negate it? Many of us do. For years getting compliments was almost painful because I didn\u2019t think I deserved them or I was afraid owning them would turn the person off. Growing up I was taught that people would like me more if I was modest. It\u2019s a common belief, especially for girls. So I swatted compliments away like flies and responded like many of us do. When you get a compliment do you:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Deny it?<\/strong> \u201cNo, I haven\u2019t lost weight, it must be my outfit\u201d I said that even when I did lose weight. \u201cYou like these shoes that I bought on clearance\u201d I could have saved to buy expensive shoes but made them seem cheap when someone liked them. We often try to downplay what people compliments in an effort to take the attention away and not own it, lest someone think you\u2019re conceited.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Try to give others credit?<\/strong> \u201cThe project turned out well but if was a team effort.\u201d \u201cI couldn\u2019t have done without Sandy.\u201d Even if it was 95% your effort, you don\u2019t accept credit for fear that colleagues will like you less. That doesn\u2019t help you get you get a raise or promotion.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Put yourself down?<\/strong> Often the instinct when getting a compliment is to say something to demean yourself to almost balance the kind words. \u201cI\u2019m glad you\u2019re impressed with my report but the ones I wrote last week that were awful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Those are common responses but are bad for you. They diminish your self-esteem and confidence. I did all of them for years when I was a DoorMat. My first time being receptive to kind words felt odd but good. It left me smiling from the warm glow of feeling good about what the person said instead of treating praise like a mosquito that I had to swat off fast. It can take time and practice but you can get used to owning what people praise about you. That\u2019s the self-loving thing to do! You can respond in a variety of ways and people will still like you. Here are some suggested responses:<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cThank you\u201d and say nothing more
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cI\u2019m excited that you noticed I lost weight. I\u2019ve been doing my best to trim down.\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cThank you. I appreciate that because I worked hard on the project.\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cThank you. I\u2019m proud of that report.\u201d
\n\u2022\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s nice to hear that. I love this shirt and am glad it\u2019s not jut me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Or find your own response. But don\u2019t negate compliments. It\u2019s not fair to you! Own your good qualities and accomplishments. People give compliments to make you feel good. So allow yourself to feel good. Period!
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How do you respond when someone gives you a compliment? Do you say something to negate it? Many of us do. For years getting compliments was almost painful because I didn\u2019t think I deserved them or I was afraid owning them would turn the person off. 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Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. 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