{"id":4060,"date":"2013-03-11T12:01:06","date_gmt":"2013-03-11T16:01:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4060"},"modified":"2013-02-02T23:29:30","modified_gmt":"2013-02-03T04:29:30","slug":"be-you-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/03\/be-you-2.html","title":{"rendered":"Be YOU"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>It might sound funny to say \u201cBe you,\u201d but, many people try to be someone they\u2019re really not. Your parent may push you in a direction you don\u2019t like but you want to be obedient so you go. The media may tell you to not be happy until your body is perfect. A romantic partner may criticize things about you and you change to please him\/her. But that\u2019s not being authentic and usually doesn\u2019t feel good when your persona is to please someone other than yourself.<\/p>\n

When you try to make everyone happy, there will be at least some who aren\u2019t pleased. YOU most likely. For many years of my early adulthood I tried to be a clone of my mom. She was a good person but very traditional and needed to please everyone. I followed in her footsteps. Her desire definitely was for me to be happy and she sincerely believed that would only be accomplished if I fit in and became a very traditional woman. I tried that route and while people were pleased with me, I wasn\u2019t happy.<\/p>\n

And I wanted to be happy! As I grew as a woman and began to love myself more, I let go of my DoorMat ways. Yet people tried to get me back into them. Every time I listened, I saw more and more how unhappy I was living in the shoes that others gave me. I wanted to be the ME of MY choice\u2014not the person people pushed me to be. When my self-love became strong, I got my own pair of shoes and danced into a life I love, despite disapproval from others.<\/p>\n

At first I felt like an intern of life since I\u2019d never lived for myself. As my faith got as strong as my self-love, I began to try things I\u2019d never done, without fear. I knew that God would be by my side if I asked. And ask I did! I began by becoming the first white female rapper when the kids I was teaching at the time dared me to rap. I did it just to prove they shouldn\u2019t let stereotypes stop them but it began my journey. That led me to be one of the first women to start an independent record label. Each accomplishment motivated me to go for the next.<\/p>\n

Yet I got a lot of slack when I started. I was a white teacher doing rap music and then running a record label. \u201cWhy can\u2019t you just be normal Daylle?\u201d I got asked a lot. I\u2019d respond that this was my new normal. I got arguments, criticism, and advice I ignored. Sometimes my reply would be to ask, \u201cAre you happy?\u201d They\u2019d be surprised by that and then stammer through an answer, because I doubt any were truly happy like me. It\u2019s harder to be happy when you\u2019re living with someone else\u2019s expectations.<\/p>\n

The more you\u2019re true to yourself and your desires, the happier you are. The happier you are, the more self-love can grow. After all, isn\u2019t it a gift for you to follow your heart instead of what people want for you? Being happy says, \u201cI love me!\u201d So think about who the real you is. What would you like to do differently? What are you doing for someone else or to please others? An important questions to ask yourself is:??\u201dDo I want to be happy or to please others?\u201d<\/p>\n

You know the answer! Slowly make changes that please YOU.
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It might sound funny to say \u201cBe you,\u201d but, many people try to be someone they\u2019re really not. Your parent may push you in a direction you don\u2019t like but you want to be obedient so you go. The media may tell you to not be happy until your body is perfect. A romantic partner…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2,15],"tags":[622],"class_list":["post-4060","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-nice-people-can-finish-first","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-authentic-self"],"yoast_head":"\nBe YOU - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/03\/be-you-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Be YOU - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It might sound funny to say \u201cBe you,\u201d but, many people try to be someone they\u2019re really not. Your parent may push you in a direction you don\u2019t like but you want to be obedient so you go. The media may tell you to not be happy until your body is perfect. A romantic partner…\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/03\/be-you-2.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-03-11T16:01:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-02-03T04:29:30+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/files\/2013\/02\/finger-pointing-300x225.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Daylle Deanna Schwartz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Be YOU - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/03\/be-you-2.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Be YOU - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat","og_description":"It might sound funny to say \u201cBe you,\u201d but, many people try to be someone they\u2019re really not. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4060","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4060"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4060\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4064,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4060\/revisions\/4064"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4060"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4060"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4060"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}