{"id":4018,"date":"2013-02-21T12:01:23","date_gmt":"2013-02-21T17:01:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.beliefnet.com\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/?p=4018"},"modified":"2013-01-30T13:10:26","modified_gmt":"2013-01-30T18:10:26","slug":"empower-yourself-by-being-funny","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/empower-yourself-by-being-funny.html","title":{"rendered":"Empower Yourself by Being Funny"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>It\u2019s said that laughter is the best medicine. Yet many of us don\u2019t have enough in our lives. And having a good sense of humor is considered an very attractive quality in both sexes. That\u2019s why I\u2019m happy to have Spiritual Comedian Alicia Dattner<\/strong> <\/a>as my guest today. She has been touring the world, selling out her one-woman shows,\u00a0Eat, Pray, Laugh!<\/a>,\u00a0The Oy of Sex<\/a>,\u00a0and\u00a0The Punchline<\/em>,\u00a0and winning awards, including “Best Storyteller” in the NY United Solo Festival, “Best of the Fringe” in the SF Fringe Festival, and “Best Comedian 2011? in the East Bay Express. Now she’s bringing together comedians with a sense of spirituality and spiritual teachers with a sense of humor in the world’s first Online Spiritual Comedy Festival<\/strong><\/a>, from Jan. 29-March 21, 2013. If you want to be funnier but don\u2019t know how, here are some of Alicia\u2019s tips:<\/p>\n

Want to be Funnier? 5 Cheesy Steps. I Mean Easy Steps<\/strong>
\nBy Alicia Dattner<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

You can read it every day in the news. A new study about the health benefits of laughter<\/a>, and how it warms up relationships<\/a>. Humor does all sorts of good things on paper. But in real life, how can you put it into practice?<\/p>\n

Have you ever wondered, \u201cHow can I be funnier?\u201d As a standup comic and spiritual comedy coach, I get this question a lot. In fact, even when people aren\u2019t asking me outright, I can tell that\u2019s what they\u2019re thinking by the questions they don\u2019t ask. The moment they hear I\u2019m a comedian, they start laughing. Usually not because they\u2019re incredulous. People love to be near comedians, and all of the desire to be more joyful and playful kind of gets projected onto us. I don\u2019t even have to say anything funny, and people\u2019s faces light up. I\u2019ve even purposely been un-funny, and they still get happy when they hear what I do. What this tells me is that each of us has a fountain of desire to feel joy, as well as a fountain of actual joy bubbling up from within. It\u2019s all already there. It simply has to be activated. And what is \u201cfunny\u201d? For the most part, it\u2019s an openness to play, to truth, and to the unexpected.<\/p>\n

\u201cSpiritual\u201d Comedy<\/strong>: I coach people in comedy and in particular spiritual comedy. I have found that those of us, who have a background in spirituality, whether teaching or practicing it, tend to have this kind of airy-fairy way of moving through our day. \u201cDid you just cut me off in traffic? Well, that\u2019s okay! I send you peace.\u201d Our habitual \u201cspiritual\u201d inclination is to stay \u201cpositive\u201d and make nice. Bzzzzzzzzz! No!<\/p>\n

The truth is that we don\u2019t always feel light and happy and nice. And when we feel and express the truth, we’re a lot funnier than when we’re trying to be funny or trying to be positive. The reason: comedy is conflict. Comedy is complaining. Laughter can be totally pure and light, but comedy usually comes from strife. The truly \u201cspiritual\u201d thing to do is to be with the truth of how you feel, and then get over it. And then make peace. And then have equanimity. Otherwise, you\u2019re just stuffing it away for later in order to look good.<\/p>\n

Tell Your Truth<\/strong> I ask my clients to “step into” that part of themselves that has an opinion or a struggle or a conflict. It\u2019s uncomfortable if you\u2019re not used to it. And when they do, suddenly they\u2019re really funny \u2013 without even trying to be. I call this telling your truth. (So does everyone else.) It can be a difficult thing to practice if you don’t know what it feels like. Plus, there are layers upon layers of our truth, some funny, some funny to other people, some not so much. Here are a few ways to begin if you feel like you’ve never really told your truth before.<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Observe how you feel physically<\/strong>. Physical sensation is actually the manifestation of the unconscious, so just by noticing you have a stomach ache or you feel tired, and you acknowledge it to yourself, that’s telling your truth. \u201cI feel an itching sensation in my nether regions.\u201d
\n2.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Observe how you feel emotionally<\/strong>. If you feel a particular emotion, and you say it out loud to yourself, that\u2019s telling the truth. Bonus points if you can identify it somewhere in your body, “I feel anxiousness in my throat.”
\n3.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Observe what story, thought, opinion, or attitude you have about the feeling, and say that out loud<\/strong>. This is where the funny comes, but only if you’re not trying, and only sometimes. \u201cMy throat hurts. I think it\u2019s because I\u2019m scared to tell my truth. The truth is, I hate women who hate women. I guess that makes me a self-hating shrew. I don\u2019t care if it doesn\u2019t make sense.\u201d<\/p>\n

Get High!<\/strong> “I used to get high on life, but then I built up a tolerance. I used to seize the day, then I started seizing two days, three days, then I was a seizing a week, just to get the same buzz.” – Arj Barker<\/p>\n

Here’s another way I coach my clients to be funny. No, not with drugs \u2013 I\u2019m talking about letting go to make more space for play and fun. The more relaxed we are, the more in touch we are with our true experience and our connection to the source of all our ideas and inspiration. We make more absurd connections with our brains. We allow ourselves the freedom and space to notice and enjoy life. We are less in our heads, less judgmental, less in the adult ego. We are less self-censoring, less fearful of looking or sounding foolish.<\/p>\n

Whatever helps you feel that way is good for comedy. A few ideas:<\/p>\n

*\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Meditate<\/strong>. It doesn’t matter what kind of meditation, as long as it leaves you feeling more expansive, lighter, and clearer than when you started.<\/p>\n

*\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Dance<\/strong>. Again, it doesn’t matter what kind, but you should do a lot of bumping, shaking, and sweating. Jump around enough so all the endorphins start flowing. Dance with other people who are playful. Some of my funniest physical comedy has come out of totally ridiculous scenes I’ve created on the dance floor, where, for example, I’m acting out the lyrics of a song, or fake-flirting with someone or trying to look really cool but actually being a total dork.<\/p>\n

*\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Improv<\/strong>. Lots of comedians will tell you they hate improv comedy as much as they hate clowning. Who cares? Try acting exercises, theatrical improvisation, improv comedy, or any kind of movement where you let your body tell the story.<\/p>\n

* \u00a0\u00a0 Laughter Yoga<\/strong>. I know you’re going to think it’s crazy, but it works. Now, some Laughter Yoga teachers have that thing where their throats are all tight and they’re terrified you won’t laugh. They teach at the senior center and they have kazoos and bubbles and rubber chickens to make you smile. I’m not talking about that kind. I’m talking about Laughter Yoga where you do a lot of breathing, some meditation, and you actually let yourself play with other folks and kind of pretend you’re a kid again. Laugh at shoelaces. Bark like a monkey. Play air trombone. Seeing the world with innocent, fresh eyes can be so freeing.<\/p>\n

*\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hang out with little kids<\/strong>. Kids under 4 (and hopefully older too) are naturally high, especially the ones who don’t play video games and watch TV a lot. Spend half an hour really playing with kids, and they’ll have you making sock puppets talk in wacky voices and inventing fairy tales. And if you’re really lucky, they’ll say some wise, candid, hilarious, quotable thing, and you’ll get a great new story out of it you can tell at parties for the next year.<\/p>\n

We laugh at what we recognize, so start figuring out who is going to recognize you and your sense of humor. Then you’ll know who you can make laugh.
\n***************<\/p>\n

Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment<\/strong><\/a> and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways<\/a><\/strong> for free at http:\/\/howdoiloveme.com<\/a><\/strong>. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE<\/strong><\/a>. Join the Self-Love Movement\u2122<\/strong><\/a>! on Facebook<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

Please leave comments under my posts so we can stay connected.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s said that laughter is the best medicine. Yet many of us don\u2019t have enough in our lives. And having a good sense of humor is considered an very attractive quality in both sexes. That\u2019s why I\u2019m happy to have Spiritual Comedian Alicia Dattner as my guest today. She has been touring the world, selling…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,15],"tags":[609,607,610,608],"class_list":["post-4018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-self-empowerment-confidence","category-self-love-acceptance","tag-alicia-dattner","tag-being-funnier","tag-humor","tag-laughter"],"yoast_head":"\nEmpower Yourself by Being Funny - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/2013\/02\/empower-yourself-by-being-funny.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Empower Yourself by Being Funny - Lessons from a Recovering Doormat\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s said that laughter is the best medicine. 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Let Me Count the Ways, a She's appeared on hundreds of TV and radio shows, including Oprah, Howard Stern, and Good Morning America and has been quoted in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Chicago Sun-Times, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Marie Claire, and Men\u00b9s Health. After being a consummate People Pleaser who felt unworthy of getting her own needs met for many years, Daylle found a path of self-love that enabled her to build her self-esteem and reinvent herself into a dual career. She learned to get taken seriously without being overtly assertive when she became one of the first women to start an independent record label (on a dare!) and learned to play ball nicely and successfully in an industry dominated by men. To help independent musicians empower themselves, Daylle writes music business books for Billboard\/Random House, including the very popular Start & Run Your Own Record Labe and I Don't Need a Record Deal! Daylle's books have been translated into over 10 languages and are popular around the world. She speaks for colleges, organizations and corporations. Through her company, Project Self-Empowerment, Daylle creates programs and materials to help people empower themselves. One goal is to raise the money to self-publish her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways and give it away for free in colleges and through organizations, to give thanks for all her blessings. Daylle uses her writing and speaking to help others find the kind of contentment and empowerment that she has.","url":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/author\/dschwartz"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4018","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4018"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4018\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4021,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4018\/revisions\/4021"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4018"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4018"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beliefnet.com\/columnists\/lessonsfromarecoveringdoormat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4018"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}